Tis The Season To Be Jolly – But What If You’re Not…
- Brainz Magazine
- Dec 15, 2021
- 4 min read
Updated: Dec 16, 2021
Written by: Pauline Morris, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
‘It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas!’ crooned Bing Crosby back in 1951 and many others since then, including the likes of Perry Como and Michael Bublé. A well-chosen title by songwriter Meredith Willson if I ever heard one!
The Christmas classic rings lustily and loud with cheerful, heartstring-pulling imagery. Bright shiny toys, happy children, Christmas trees, but most importantly the joy of coming home to a home full of Christmas cheer. I see problems already.
What if you’re missing some of these things, or don’t have any of them at all? Or, even if you do, this holly-jolly season fills you with nothing but dread or at best a begrudging tolerance.
For many, the Christmas season is a sad and lonely time. For those in need of the basic necessities of life, we have the salvation army, red cross and other local charities that do their best to provide hot meals, warm beds and a modicum of safety. You may be lucky enough to not be one who needs such services, so why aren’t you filled with the joy of Christmas?
Bah Humbug!
The truth is, Christmas is a stressful time! But we don’t like to admit it for fear of being called a scrooge or appearing ungrateful for not appreciating all that we have.
It’s also not a good time for people with mental health challenges or those who may be languishing with other non-categorised problems such as burnout. The strain of having to constantly plaster on a daily smile representative of the expected ‘Christmas spirit’ can overwhelming and indeed exhausting!
Furthermore, pressure and stress can stem from a multitude of other factors and include, but are not limited to – financial, gift-giving, time pressure, travel, social gatherings and the all round expectation to go all out and overboard on just about every aspect of life! It’s Christmas after all, and it only comes once a year!
It’s a worldwide problem
I grew up in Barbados where the preparations for Christmas were and still are, frenzied and extravagant, characterised by sleep-deprived nights and wearisome days. The expected transformation of one’s home for the yuletide season is often accompanied by burdensome financial debt. Sadly, it is not a rare occurrence to see large items of furniture and appliances being repossessed within the first quarter of the following year!
My family was an exception to such shenanigans. We did have a tree and yes, I got a prezzie, sometimes two, and we had nice Christmas lunches. But my mother would always say ‘Christmas is just for one day (she also used to say that about weddings), Christmas is for celebrating and resting’ and so it was in our home.
As a child, I did feel as if my family didn’t really try at Christmas, as an adult, I’m eternally grateful to have spent my Christmases celebrating AND resting (I also did the same for my wedding). I am pleased to report that that tradition of truly enjoying Christmas has remained sacred in my home, but it does take effort, those pressures and stressors are real.
Relax and Celebrate (however you like)
So what can you do to have a better Christmas experience? Well, you can take control of the things you get to influence, like your energy, time and finances.
‘Forgive’ yourself for not being all wrapped up in the trappings of Christmas. It’s ok to not like something, even Christmas!
Share how you are feeling with a trusted someone, a friend, coach, or loved one.
Choose how and with whom you spend your time wisely. Social interaction should be fun not a chore. It’s ok to turn down an invitation or two.
Try not to spend time with people who drain you. Easier said than done I know, but remember you deserve to be happy too.
Ps. It’s much easier to hop on and off video calls (takes the expense and stress of holiday travel out of the equation as well!).
Remember, financial stress will definitely not help you enjoy your Christmas. Decide in advance how much you can afford to spend on entertainment, presents etc.
Set and/or agree monetary ceilings on gift value with family and friends.
Stay away from the department and high street stores. Instead, consider charity/thrift shops for unique gifts and savvy outfits. You’d be surprised by the treasures you can find in these places. Personally, I enjoy a good rummage and there is a bonus! – You get the joy of knowing that you are supporting worthy charities!
Donate your time and/or money to a charity of your choice. Christmas will feel much more meaningful when you are involved in helping others.
Last but by no means least, take some time for yourself. What do YOU need this Christmas? Sleep, space, time to rest and ruminate, hibernate even. You do get to pick.
It’s your choice and in your power to make Christmas the most wonderful time of the year, your way. Enjoy!
You can follow Pauline on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and can book a session through her website!
Pauline Morris, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Spanning several regions including the Caribbean, Middle East and the United Kingdom, Dr. Pauline Morris brings a wealth of experience as a leader within and outside of medicine, as a Consultant Anaesthetist and a Career Coach. After becoming a single mum at 17 and choosing a life of caring for others, she realised the true difficulties doctors face in attaining happy healthy lives, whilst providing a gold standard of care to their patients. As the founder of Doctors Caring for Doctors, a career coaching and support service for physicians, her mission is to help all doctors discover how they can have a fulfilling life and a successful career without burning out.
In crafting her own successful career as a physician and entrepreneur, she is well placed to help doctors who crave inspired solutions to the competing demands of a medical career and home life.
One of her greatest gifts is her ability to authentically connect with her clients, allowing them the space to find the complete clarity that leads them to their own unique path, emotional freedom, personal joy and professional achievement.
