Updated: Jan 5
Written by: Ghesi Stojanov, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
If you are anything like me, last year, you found yourself trying to navigate your thoughts and feelings as the pandemic steamrolled its way through your life, quickly making your 2020 a year of self-reflection, self-awareness, and survival.
It brought to the surface all kinds of feelings and thoughts that had us questioning our value and worth. Because all of a sudden, we did not have the restaurants, shopping, parties, and work to keep us "busy" (or should I say distracted) from addressing the things that were affecting us long before the pandemic hit.
And now, as we head into 2021, we are left trying to work out and work through what 2020 exposed emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually by attaching it to our New Year resolutions.
Now don't get me wrong. New Year resolutions are fantastic for setting goals for yourself. We all need guidelines that we create to help measure our growth and keep us accountable.
However, studies have shown that less than 25% of people stay committed to their resolutions after just 30 days, and only 8% actually accomplish them.
Why? Because most of us do not make set plans that will guide us to success, which sets us up for failure.
So before you give up on those New Year resolutions, I want to give you five tips to help transform your thinking, empower you, and crush these resolutions.
1. Who You Are is Enough
When you're thinking about your New Year resolutions, know that they have nothing to do with your value and worth and everything to do with leveling up in your life.
Many New Year's resolutions are anchored to our self-worth, which automatically creates a negative internal dialogue. It makes throwing in the towel easy because we tell ourselves we are "not strong enough" to stay on that new eating plan or "Smart enough" to start that business.
We need to stop blaming why things are not happening on who we are and start shifting it to actions we are taking.
So please repeat after me!
I am enough! I have always been enough! My resolutions have nothing to do with my value and self-worth and everything to do with leveling up in my life and living to my full potential.
2. Own It
When we own our journey, we stop passing ownership of why we are not where we want to be to outside forces, in turn giving us power!
If we learn to own every part of our journey — the good, the bad, and the ugly, we will start to own our growth and the who, what, where, why, and how of our circumstances.
3. Create a Plan
If you build it, results will come!
There is a famous line in the movie Field of Dreams, "If you build it, they will come," that rings true in our lives too. When we can create a strong foundation and guide for us to follow, we stay on track.
Start answering the who, what, where, why, and how questions.
For example, if health is your 2021 goal:
Who: Who can help support you, and who can help keep you accountable? Maybe you'll need the support of a health coach or personal trainer to help get those resolution juices flowing for your first 90 days.
What: What does your current everyday living look like? Do you work from home? Are you homeschooling? What activities do you like doing? What are your expenses? What do you do now in your free time? What time do you wake up, and what time do you go to bed? Questions like these will help you map out what will work for you, so you are not setting yourself up for failure.
Where: Where are you going to do these activities. If you worked out the what, this would automatically point you to the where. Maybe you're going to walk 30 minutes on your break or go for a jog 20 minutes a day because you know a gym or trainer doesn't fit in your monthly budget.
Why: Your why is your anchor. It's what motivated you to say in 2021; I will ---- (in this example, take back my health).
Your why should be brutally honest and should be written down, so every feeling and pain point can be thought through and brought to the surface. Writing down our why also gives you something to look back on to help motivate you when you feel like you can't and give you a sense of pride when you start seeing a change.
How: The How is about the tools you will utilize to help you level up your growth. How are you going to make this happen?
As a coach, I love a good 30, 60, and 90-day plan. The reason most New Year resolutions fail is because of poor planning. A great plan will anchor any goal and create a guide to help you stay on track. When we use this type of planning, we create digestible micro-goals and help us stay focused and not feel overwhelmed.
The demands of everyday living are constantly pulling us in a million directions, and meditation helps you to pause and take 5 minutes for yourself without having to meet any outside expectations.
Meditation is a great practice that helps to recenter us by giving our mind, heart, and soul the moment it needs to realign itself by destressing our minds, listening to our hearts, and refreshing our souls.
The great thing about meditation is that it is a practice that can happen anywhere, anytime, and has hundreds of platforms to suit any person's needs.
You need to be your biggest cheerleader, which means we need to make sure our internal dialogue supports our growth and not holding us back. Because there will be days when you slip up, slip back, and want to throw in the towel.
Having three words of affirmation to help support your goal placed in places you will see consistently is powerful. These three words have to hold meaning to you and are powerful words connected to you, your feelings, and your goals.
I like having my clients place these words in areas that they are guaranteed to see every day at least two times a day (more is better), like the bathroom mirror, next to your bed, or even as the wallpaper on your phone.
The point of daily affirmations is to repeat and internalize the words because our minds are amazing sponges that will start to believe the words you speak light and life into.
Transforming our perspective is powerful and can make or break our success. Remember, you are enough. You can own your journey. Start creating your plan, keep your self centered, and CHEER YOURSELF ON!
2020 might have been one for the books, but it’s not the end of our story. We still hold the pen and paper to create a life of fulfillment, power, and purpose.
Ghesi Stojanov, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Ghesi Stojanov is a transformational coach with a mission to help others find balance, own their journey, and tune in to their power. After the loss of her first child in 2004, welcoming her youngest son with a genetic disorder NF1 in 2011, and a triple-positive breast cancer diagnosis in 2013, Ghesi created techniques that helped her navigate through these challenging moments with power, purpose, and light. She helps her clients on their journey so they can "Be the Color" in their greatest masterpiece that is their life.