Written by: Lisa Tahir, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
There exists a false cultural belief that people only change as a result of harsh criticism and punishment. Yet another false belief suggests that if we forgive ourselves, then we may end up giving ourselves permission to be lazy and complacent. Both are incorrect. I have personally experienced, and seen in others, healing that takes hold more quickly and with long-lasting results through the practice of compassion, understanding, and forgiveness.
We can learn to speak to ourselves through our self-talk, with the voice of a loving and inspiring coach who believes in us, as opposed to a default, self-same cruel and punishing taskmaster. The practice of either self-encouragement or self-deprecation literally shapes what we will experience in our future.
Train your mind
Impregnate your future with possibility instead of limitation and watch the effects of our thoughts naturally begin to remediate as we shift the influences that underlie them. Just like we go to the gym to train our muscles by lifting weights, to train the attitudinal muscles of our mind we can choose to draw upon the therapeutic powers of meditation, prayer, yoga, writing in a journal, being out in nature, or reading a book, for example.
Whatever you plant in your body and mind will grow. I believe in the cultivation of body and mind through energetically enhancing healthy experiences that fully absorb one in the moment. Activities and practices that involve tapping into one’s passion and creativity are the most powerful and effective. Peak experiences are as vast as the ocean itself, so allow yourself to feel into this process and decide what works for you.
There are infinite paths to take in the journey to finding one’s pleasures and passions. Remember that we always have an inner guidance system to rely on. It will invariably inform us about our desires— whether or not they are healthy or unhealthy, or if they might cause harm to another or to ourselves.
When we are in alignment with ourselves our inner navigation system works harmoniously to chart our course in the flow of life. This alignment is found when we are loving and kind to ourselves, and liking the person we truly are. We also tend to treat others better as a natural outgrowth of our self-respect and care.
The moral compass of our personality can become murky, even obscured, by our unconscious core wounds. We are prone to act in ways that may be highly unlike ourselves and then feel shame as a result. Our unconscious needs keep us from considering all the factors when making important decisions in our lives. Our growth is dependent upon giving ourselves permission to try new things while at the same time encouraging ourselves to be respectful in the fulfillment of our pleasures.
Learn more about healing your emotional wounds in my book, The Chiron Effect: Healing Our Core Wounds through Astrology, Empathy, and Self-Forgiveness, endorsed by His Holiness the Dalai Lama and available everywhere books are sold.
Lisa Tahir, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Lisa Tahir, is an inspirational podcast host of All Things Therapy, where she seeks to "Change Consciousness One Conversation at a Time.' Her book, "The Chiron Effect: Healing Our Core Wounds through Astrology, Empathy, and Self-Forgiveness," has been acclaimed and endorsed by His Holiness the Dalai Lama. Tahir draws her strength through combining the psychological with the spiritual, and as a licensed therapist seeks to help others in visualizing and creating their very best lives no matter what has been true in the past.