The Summer Bucket List That Your Family Actually Needs
- May 27
- 5 min read
Jenny Gaynor, author and founder of Calm Education, teaches SEL tools to help kids, families, and teachers build confidence, connection, and calm.
June often brings equal parts excitement and chaos. The school year rush disappears, routines loosen, and families suddenly feel pressure to create a summer filled with magical memories.
Sometimes we even create bucket lists packed with beaches, camps, road trips, and big adventures. But what if we also created a summer bucket list that nurtured something deeper?
Summer offers all of us, especially our children, the wonderful gift of space. Summer gives us room to slow down, notice our emotions, build stronger relationships, practice independence, and develop emotional resilience. The best part is that ordinary summer moments give our children time for meaningful growth.
Here are a few bucket list ideas that help build emotional intelligence while still feeling playful, relaxed, and fun.
1. Have a “Yes day” for someone else
Often, we give our children a choice of their preferred summertime activities. Instead, encourage them to spend one day focused on someone else’s interests. Maybe they play a sibling’s favorite game. Or they visit Grandma’s special place. They could even let a friend choose the afternoon activity.
This simple and intentional practice helps children build empathy, flexibility, perspective-taking, and cooperation. Watching someone they care about genuinely enjoying an activity can help children discover joy in making others happy. This can be a win win for everyone!
2. Watch a sunset without phones
This sounds simple, but for many of us it can feel surprisingly difficult. We may feel compelled to snap photos and instantly share on social media with our friends. Instead, try simply sitting together and watching the sky change colors without distractions or multitasking. Moments like this create a sense of awe that we often miss when our phones are in our hands. This time of quiet, stillness, and togetherness helps calm our nervous system and increases feelings of connection and gratitude, which are important for emotional well-being. None of us, including our children, needs more stimulation. Sometimes we simply need to intentionally stop and notice what is already beautiful and awe-inspiring.
3. Create a kindness mission jar
Kindness activities help children feel capable, connected, and emotionally fulfilled. Research consistently shows that helping others also boosts our mood and emotional resilience.
Together as a family, fill a jar with small acts of kindness written on slips of paper. Some ideas include donating toys, making cookies for someone, writing thank you notes, helping a younger child, or setting up a “free” lemonade stand for neighbors.
Once a week, pick a slip from the jar and dedicate some time throughout the day to doing that act of kindness. Ask your children how it made them feel to do these things for others. You may be surprised at their responses!
4. Try a “Boredom hour”
This may be the most challenging activity on the list for both children and adults. The key is to explain what this means and to give ample time for everyone to prepare.
Boredom is an important emotion to learn how to regulate. Feeling bored creates opportunities to be creative, solve problems, manage frustration, and become more self-aware. These are regulation skills that often develop during unstructured play.
To create this summer moment for your child, explain that a portion of your day will not include screens, planned entertainment, or structured activities. Brainstorm ideas with your family ahead of time on how to pass the hour. Maybe they look through a box of toys they haven’t played with in a while, find a good book to read on their shelf, or organize their craft supplies. Explain that the adults will be doing the same thing, and help brainstorm a list of ideas for the grown ups in the house as well.
Then, have at it! Enjoy the hour of nothingness! At the end, discuss what everyone enjoyed, disliked, and would do next time. You may be surprised at what comes of this hour for your family.
5. Practice “Rose, Thorn, Bud”
How many times have you asked your child, “How was your day?” only to receive “fine” as an answer? Try this reflection on a summer day instead.
At dinner, bedtime, or even during a car ride, have each family member share a “rose” (something good from the day), a “thorn” (something challenging), and a “bud” (something they’re looking forward to).
This simple activity builds not only emotional vocabulary and communication skills, but also creates time for reflection and family connection. It teaches everyone that difficult emotions can exist alongside joyful ones and helps set up the following day for success. Not to mention, it gets the family talking beyond the response of “fine.”
6. Spend time in silence together
When was the last time you spent time in silence, let alone with your family? When children learn to slow down and observe the world around them, they also become more aware of the world inside themselves. Guess what? So do the adults!
Mindfulness doesn’t always have to mean guided meditation. Sometimes it simply means learning to notice. Try going on a silent nature walk, listening to the rain together, cloud watching, or sitting quietly by the ocean. Before silence begins, encourage your child to use their senses. Teach them to notice what they see, hear, smell, feel, and even taste!
Is it hard for them not to tell you all about it at the moment? Hand them a journal. Let them draw or write what they notice. Model doing the same for yourself. The sharing at the end might be more valuable than you realized.
7. Do something brave
Confidence is not built on avoiding discomfort. It grows when we experience challenges and realize we can handle them. Encourage your family to choose one thing that feels uncomfortable to them. It could be introducing themselves to someone new, trying a new food, performing at camp, sleeping away from home, or trying a new activity.
Often, we avoid discomfort because we feel we aren’t “good enough” at something, or maybe we are simply fearful. This is a great time to build emotion regulation skills as well. Teach your child to breathe deeply and give them a helpful thought before attempting the activity. Remember, the goal is not perfection. The goal is practicing courage. Remind your family and yourself that in order to feel brave, you have to pass through the unpleasant discomfort first. That is what makes bravery feel so wonderful!
A different kind of summer
Children may not remember every camp theme, outing, or perfectly planned activity from summer break. But they often remember how summer felt to them. They remember feeling connected, calm, safe, free, and seen.
This summer, alongside the big adventures, consider making space for the quieter moments that help children build emotional intelligence, resilience, mindfulness, and connection. Sometimes the smallest moments become the most meaningful ones of all.
Read more from Jenny Gaynor
Jenny Gaynor, Social Emotional Learning Coach and Founder
Jenny Gaynor is the author and founder of Calm Education. She teaches children, families, and teachers essential SEL (Social Emotional Learning) skills. Her mission is to help others build confidence, resilience, and healthy connections. Jenny is a former educator with over 20 years of classroom experience. She holds certifications in both elementary and special education. Jenny also has training in yoga, meditation, and SEL facilitation. She lives in Barrington, Rhode Island, with her family and therapy cat, Tiller.
