The “Should” Trap – How Not To Fall For It So That You Can Live Your Life On Your Own Terms
- Mar 10, 2023
- 3 min read
Written by: Cristiana Blasutta, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Have you ever fallen for it? Let me define it for you first. The “should” trap is the voice inside of your head that tries to convince you that following someone else’s rules, wants and needs is better than following your own.
It’s difficult to be aware of this trap, we all fall into it, at least a gazillion times in our life.
But it’s not your fault!
You see, you’ve been trained since you were a small kid to fall for it. Repeatedly. The result? You don’t even question it anymore.
What do you want to do when you grow up?
Way too young they ask you what you want to be when you grow up. And everyone wants to tell you their idea: “you should be a lawyer, a doctor, a wife, a mother. You should follow your father’s steps. You should make a lot of money. You should not take risks”… and on and on and on.
It’s pretty confusing, isn’t it??
The worst thing is that with all these other voices in your head, it becomes very difficult to identify and listen to your own.
But it’s just a matter of time. Trust me.
Sooner or later, your inner voice will become louder and louder, and it’ll be able to silence all the “shoulds” that are floating in your head.
Wait, how do I recognize it?
At this point you might ask me: “How can I recognize it? And how can I know that I can finally trust it and it’s not another trap?”
Awesome questions 😎
Here’s how you can recognize it:
It doesn’t come from your head. It’s a feeling that pervades all of your body, it’s like all the cells of your body are singing at unison the same song. And it’s a beautiful song that makes you feel like you’re ruling your own world. It gives you a sense of bliss and comfort at the same time.
I’m sure that you heard it already, but then you stopped yourself and you fell in the “should” trap, because it felt like the only choice you had. The more you fell into the traps the less familiar you became with that amazing sensation that listening to your inner voice gives you.
But, no problem, I’m here to remind you. I know that it’s coming back to you while you’re reading my words.
How can you trust it? Well, do you trust your best friend? I bet you do! Your inner voice of wisdom is 1000 times better than your best friend. Don’t be afraid to give it a try. I know you want it badly!
It can feel uncomfortable to do it at the beginning, people will tell you that you changed, they will criticize you. That’s normal, but stick to it and your life will become the life you’ve always dreamed of, full of passion, purpose, and pleasure.
If you find it difficult to connect to your voice, just shoot me an email at here. It’d be my honor to show you the way 💜.
Cristiana Blasutta, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Cristiana is the Master Weaver of Transformation. She loves working with powerhouse women who know that they are meant for more. She helps them reignite their passion, find their purpose, and finally give themselves permission to seek and feel pleasure so that they can live the epic life they deserve. Cristiana stopped calling herself a “coach” and fully embodied being a Weaver, someone who is able to look at the messy parts in your life, untangle all the pieces, and weave them back together in a way that’s truly aligned with your passion, purpose, and pleasure so that your life is authentic to you.
