The Permission That’s Never Coming
- Jul 3
- 5 min read
Garet Free is a best-selling author and executive coach who helps ambitious leaders stop white-knuckling their way through life and unlock authentic confidence. He blends raw yet loving honesty with transformational practices to turn self-doubt into rocket fuel for success.
After seeking external permission to achieve greatness for over two decades, I finally took the leap and gave myself the permission that was never going to come from anywhere else. It was March 2025, and I was sitting in a hammock on the porch of my Airbnb in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico.
I had just broken up with my last consulting client and had no idea what I was going to do next. When I clicked “Exit meeting” on Zoom after talking with the two cofounders, I was terrified, but I also felt freer than I had in a long time.
How much longer can I live off my savings while I finish writing this book?
I had my first couple of coaching clients, and I had also given myself permission to set aside time to write and reconnect with my creative side. I had committed to six months of focused work to accomplish something that most people never start.
A few years earlier, I had been flirting with the idea of opening an art gallery. After a layoff in January 2020, I took time to build that business plan. Then my world was turned upside down when my dad died on March 16, 2020. Self-doubt surrounding the business because of the pandemic, combined with the unexpected grief of my dad’s death, consumed me.
My desire for self-employment was put on hold while I healed and navigated a tough job market. The year 2020 was also the first time I went on a psilocybin mushroom journey, which completely changed my life for the better.
When I landed a job in late 2020, I committed myself to growing just as much personally as I did professionally. It was time to get more out of life, and I knew I had to figure it out.
Growing up, I had to ask permission to go outside and play. As a paramedic, I had a set of protocols and standing orders to follow when treating a patient. When I worked in the hospital, most things had to be run through the physician for permission. When I worked in consulting, I had to navigate a matrixed organization to get a new project moving. When I was a VP, I still had to ask permission, especially when making big decisions.
In the days after that Zoom call from the hammock in Mexico, I felt confident that I could bring everything I had learned over two decades into a unique system. It would take the work I had done, both professionally and on myself, and condense it into six to eighteen months. It would be a way to help people rapidly realign their lives and move towards their next version of success. Easy peasy, right?
The journey started with a year of independent consulting after leaving a job in 2023, writing and publishing a book in six months, and then finally having an honest conversation with myself about what I was doing with my life.
I was stalling. Draining my savings account. Playing it safe. Staying in the shadows.
In hindsight, I was waiting for permission to go all in on myself, but that permission was never going to come. Both of my parents were dead by this point, so other than my partner and some professional connections, I was basically my own cheerleader. I had to believe in myself before anyone else could.
As I navigated entrepreneurship for the second time, I had to change who owned the permission because I had outsourced it for too long.
Should I build this coaching business? The only answer had to come from within.
In June 2025, I was sitting at my kitchen table when I made the craziest decision. I had just met two coaches with programs designed to help people build businesses, and it was time to decide whether I was going to join. I felt pressure building in my head, and it seemed as though the room was closing in on me.
I said out loud, “Fuck it, I have to do this.” It was in that moment, in the middle of June 2025, that I invested in myself like never before. I took on more credit card debt than I had ever held.
My chest was tight, and my nerves felt frayed. I was going all in on myself, and this time, I made the decision, with permission coming only from within.
I gave myself permission to choose me. It was a moment that I will never forget. What permission are you waiting for that is never going to arrive?
When you are ready to give yourself permission, your life will drastically improve. It is about looking within and taking radical responsibility for this moment and every moment in the future. You have the freedom to choose yourself while making the moves that will fill your life with the joy you desire. I did this when I wrote a book in six months, invested in myself and my business during that tense moment at the kitchen table, and broke up with a consulting client without having a clear plan for the future.
No matter the size of your business, your title, or what you have achieved personally, giving yourself permission instead of waiting for external validation will carry you exactly where you need to go.
In my work now, I sit across from driven people who have built the career, earned the title, checked every box, and still feel as though they are waiting for someone to tell them it is okay to actually live. They have done the therapy. They have read the books. Yet there is still one conversation stuck on repeat in their heads: “Something is missing, and I cannot name it.”
What is usually missing is permission to stop performing and start living. If that sounds like you, I welcome a conversation to hear more of your story. Click here to book a call.
Read more from Garet Free
Garet Free, Executive Transformation Coach, Bestselling Author
Garet Free is a best-selling author and executive coach who helps ambitious leaders stop white-knuckling their lives and finally unlock the confidence they’ve been searching for. Known for blending raw and loving honesty with transformational practices, he guides clients to turn self-doubt into rocket fuel for success so they can step into their next chapter with clarity and momentum. Through his writing, speaking, and coaching, Garet challenges high performers to stop settling, start leading authentically, and build a life they’re proud of.
