The Myth of Having It All and What to Choose Instead
- Brainz Magazine
- Aug 22
- 3 min read
Written by Meghna Dassani, Entrepreneur
Meghna Dassani knows what it means to check all the boxes - and still feel like something’s missing. A dentist turned transformation coach, she now teaches high-achieving women how to rewrite the rules of success. Her mission? To help ambitious women step into their purpose and power with a little bit of sparkle.
For as long as I can remember, women in leadership have been sold a polished fairytale: You can have it all. The thriving career. The perfect family. The toned body, serene yoga practice, and picture-perfect vacations. All of it, wrapped up neatly with a bow.
But let’s be honest, it’s also exhausting. Because “all” keeps moving. Every time you check a box, another one gets added. Promotions, accolades, side hustles, home-cooked meals, kids’ science projects, board seats, charity work. The list is relentless.
At some point, chasing "having it all" isn't empowering; it keeps you stuck in someone else's story.
Here’s the truth that’s rarely spoken aloud: You don’t have to do it all. You don’t even have to want it all. What you do need is alignment.
The lie of balance
The narrative of balance suggests there’s a perfect equation: If you just manage your time better, lean in harder, or meditate enough, you’ll achieve the elusive harmony between work and life.
But balance implies sameness on both sides of the scale. Life isn’t symmetrical. Sometimes work demands more. Sometimes family does. Sometimes your own soul begs for center stage.
In leadership circles, I’ve seen countless women chase “balance” like it’s a holy grail, only to feel perpetually behind. The truth? Balance is less about equality of time and more about clarity of priority.
Redefining “all”
Instead of chasing everything, what if you asked yourself:
Which pieces of “all” are actually mine, and which are someone else’s expectations?
What’s deeply aligned with my values, and what drains me, no matter how shiny it looks from the outside?
Where am I saying yes out of guilt, fear, or habit, instead of desire?
The power move isn’t in expanding your plate endlessly, it’s in curating what belongs on it.
A personal wake-up call
For years, I lived inside that myth. Running a thriving dental practice, mentoring, speaking, raising kids, I ticked every box. On paper, it looked like I “had it all.”
But then came the cracks. Literally, a shoulder injury threatened my career, but the real fracture was deeper. I realized that despite the accolades, something essential was missing: purpose. I was performing success, not living it.
That’s when I discovered the truth of leadership with soul. It isn’t about how much you can carry. It’s about what you choose to carry.
Leadership with soul
Walking away from “all” is often harder than chasing it. But it’s in that choice that women create legacies that last.
True power is not juggling everything; it’s intentionally aligning your energy, relationships, and work with what matters most.
This isn’t about shrinking your ambition. It’s about aiming it where it matters most.
A new question
So instead of asking, How do I have it all? ask:
What do I want to hold?
Because here’s the secret: the woman who stops juggling everything and starts holding only what matters, she doesn’t lose power. She radiates it.
Reflection prompt
This month, I invite you to pause and write down:
What’s on my plate right now that feels like an obligation, not a calling?
If I let one ball drop, which one would create space for joy, impact, or rest?
What does my version of “enough” look like in this season?
Your second act isn’t about balance or perfection, it’s about alignment and intention. That’s where real freedom lives.
Because maybe the truth is, you were never meant to have it all. You were meant to have what’s yours.
Read more from Meghna Dassani
Meghna Dassani, Entrepreneur
Meghna Dassani is an award-winning dentist, author, and transformation coach. Through Lead With Soul and The Expansion Collective, she empowers high-achieving women align with purpose, reclaim their power, and create legacies without hustle. Blending mindset, soulful leadership, and reinvention, Meghna helps women redefine success on their own terms.
