The Meaning of Life — If only Someone knew
- May 19, 2021
- 6 min read
Written by: Monica Pelaez, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
This morning I read on Medium, “The Pandemic Proves that Society was Wrong About How to Live Life” by Kristin Wilson. She lists all of those truths we were fed, truths about how to live our lives successfully. Yet evidence shows these truths are no good. The world that is supposed to be is not. We feel lost or lied to. Hard to know what is worse, lost or betrayed. We expect fairness, justice, and demand as much, searching for whom to present our grievance because we have most certainly been injured — challenges, obstacles, disease, failure, pains, ailments, injuries, fault. The list is long.
I have owned all of these agonies, healed, and moved on. Perhaps this is why I do not like attending twelve-step meetings; incessant repetition of terrible stories. After acknowledging and recognizing my miseries, regardless of whose doing, they are, what comes next? Something must come next.
During the weekend, I watched a series about a religious scholar who travels to disparate places such as Mexico, India, LA, and Israel, to immerse himself in off-the-grid religions. The undercurrent of these episodes is the relentless search of humanity for the meaning of life, the experiences of many, through the ages, going through deep confrontations, questioning the purpose of existence. Still, the meaning and purpose of life remain a question without a definitive answer.
I like what she says and how she says it; I like her voice, calm, devoid of judgment, serene, placid. A very different voice from the feminine voices in my world. Offering concepts and a vision dissimilar to what I’d known. Love above all. Trust and faith. This woman was cool as a cucumber!
But how to reconcile the world I knew with her ideas? I tried to. It didn’t work. The world I was surrounded by was powerful. Have a good job, live in a good neighborhood, have a nice car, the latest cellphone. Achieve professional success or at least have a career of consequence. Be slim, pretty, and composed. Be organized, manage my time and commitments, pay my bills. Have a great credit score. After fourteen years of struggling, I was liberated. I didn’t cut loose on my own. Although I do believe deep down inside I was profoundly convinced of a better existence, the possibility of choices radically different, something pushed me out. That “higher self,” God, the Universe, perpetual wisdom gave me a push, propelling me to change.
Louise Hay accounts of her many pits of darkness. She was not born illuminated. She walked a long road. I find myself in that account. Her story is credible in its simplicity. Nothing mysterious about the human plight. It happens every day. I like to think she would get my “before” world and would get the world I am building now. Too much theory in these matters is just another self-help book. If you have never been burned, you can’t know the alchemy of life. Medieval alchemists believed they could turn any metal into gold. The alchemy of life is to turn a half-empty glass into a half-full glass. Same glass. Same life.
I promise the instruments of alchemy to exist. They are not the same for everyone. Not the same dose and certainly not in the same order. Each to their own in finding them. No need to search. Just be open, and they will come to your doorstep. Most of the time in unexpected places, from unlikely sources; regardless, they will arrive. Your part is to be open. One will lead to another, and you will be swayed down the currents of transformation effortlessly.
Life is not as we were told.
Life is neither fair nor unfair—neither good nor bad, nor beautiful or dark.
It is just existence; you exist, period. Everything else is babble. 300 years ago, children were not mandated to attend school. Staples of good child-rearing did not include teeth brushing. 400 years ago, women wore corsets, not bras. 150 years ago, weekends had not been invented, neither the driver’s license nor drainage systems. Life, as we know it today, is an invention. Existence is not our invention, but the life we live today is our invention. That is the mid-life crisis, throwing away all the baggage we have, almost everything we have deeply believed in. On the other side of the crisis, a “tabula rasa,” a blank page to fill as we please; with a pencil, a pen, a crayon, a sharpie, black and white, colors. No guarantee, no assurances.
No one to complain to. Not even God answers. Absolute silence.
And as we realize our absolute oneness in this life that is no more as we were told, down we go. Some will descend into “Hades,” where complete darkness rules. Those who have been burned know Hades. Some propelled by divorce, or the pink slip, the death of a loved one, a serious illness. This Hades is not just the disappointment of losing something, having bad credit, or your boyfriend’s sexting with your neighbor. Hades is thick, heavy, darker than black, silent, neither hot nor cold. It is said you must descend there at least once in a lifetime. Only those who return break free into the light. Many stay stuck there while managing to pay taxes, wash their cars, and showing up for work, but they never left Hades. They thrash, bitch, moan, bicker, cry while trapped. Being in Hades is neither good nor bad. It is a state of being. Free to choose.
Life is not as we were told because unavoidably, we suffer and go to Hades at least once by means of our collective consciousness. We go to Hades because we are one with pain. We need to endure it one way or the other. It may begin as emotional pain, mental, or spiritual pain, always manifesting in the body. Or it may begin as physical pain, extending into the mind, spirit, or heart. As we evolve in our existence, our need for pain diminishes. But we will still experience some degree of pain as long as we are alive, for no one knows the truth about death. Will come, regardless.
Meanwhile, in our existence, we choose and build our lives as we please. Most of it is in the inner world. How I behave, I think, I react—no need to move to the Himalayas, or become a yogi or get Botox. The outer world comes after the inner world. What happens inside is under my control, mine, and no one else’s. Life outside improves as long as there is inner alignment. The “zone” is inner alignment. When I am in the “zone,” I know I flow. To flow, I must ask myself in full honesty. I cannot lie to myself.
The author of a psychology book I am reading proposes living an emotional sterile life can be dangerous. Always happy and content. He suggests this paradigm is a modern Monica Pelaez Life & Education Coaching invention, where the natural spectrum of feelings is rejected. Our emotions fluctuate, and this fluctuation is natural. Mindfulness is the art of observing and acknowledging at the moment what I feel, accept it and let it go. This helps me identify and separate the normal fluctuation of emotions from much more pervasive, underlying emotional scars that need careful attention.
As I dig deeper, I wish to understand what experiences caused those pervasive scars, understand if they are creating emotional pain or just a recollection. In both cases, it is liberated, and I move on. Lighter and lighter as I go. Just as children, living in the moment. They don’t carry baggage. In this, I learn to know myself better; I can respond to life calmer, feeling but not going berserk!
Everything is inside, and inside is under my control. I can decide what to think. My thoughts are mine, and I control them. What and how I think can be changed now, today.
The point of power is the present moment.
Power is now.
Monica Pelaez, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Monica Pelaez is a thinker, writer, coach, and instructor. With a background in international law and business, involved in educational projects across continents, she has built a coaching/tutoring private practice to help the ones who are like her, "outliers." Those who do not fit the mold have a hard time with the system but are smart, curious, and intrepid. She combines the spheres of emotions, behavior, and academics in her practice. She views the individual as a complex being with unique talents, challenges, and needs and works to succeed in academics. She writes about any and all topics that interest her, without any claim to expertise, under the liberal principles of freedom of thought.
