The Human Lens™ – A Neuroscience-Based Method for Transforming Empathy Into Action
- Brainz Magazine
- Jul 8
- 9 min read
Written by Nick Haswell, Coach, Speaker & Author
Nick Haswell is a coach, author, and speaker with nearly 20 years’ experience in performance, leadership, and personal development. He helps people reconnect with their voice, values, and purpose through coaching and workshops, empowering them to lead and live authentically.
How three simple questions can rewire your brain for deeper connection and more effective leadership.
The empathy paradox that's crippling modern leadership
"I felt terrible for him, but I didn't know what to do, so I just didn't do anything."
This confession from a senior executive during a leadership coaching session perfectly captures the empathy crisis plaguing modern workplaces.
Picture this: Your team member snaps at you during a meeting. Your colleague seems distant and disengaged. A friend cancels plans last minute with a terse text. In each scenario, you feel that familiar tug of empathy – you sense something's wrong, you want to help, but then nothing. You default to judgment, create distance, or simply move on.
Sound familiar? You're not alone.
Recent research reveals a startling paradox: 86% of employees believe empathetic leadership boosts morale, while 87% say empathy is essential to fostering an inclusive environment. Yet, workplace connection and trust continue to decline. We're living in what may be the most empathy-aware generation in history, but we're failing to translate that awareness into meaningful action.
The cost is staggering: disengaged teams, higher turnover, broken relationships, and leaders who care deeply but feel helpless to create the connections they know are essential.
The problem isn't that we don't care, it's that we don't have a practical system for converting empathetic impulses into genuine connection.
Enter the human lens™: Your brain's empathy operating system
After years of coaching leaders, teams, and individuals across industries, I've developed what I call the Human Lens™ – a simple, scientifically grounded method that transforms how you process and respond to others' emotional experiences. It's not just another soft skill framework; it's a practical rewiring of how your brain approaches human interaction.
The Human Lens™ consists of three deceptively simple steps:
Step 1: Pause and ask, "What might they be carrying that I can't see?"
Step 2: Consider, "If I were them, what would I want someone to really understand?"
Step 3: Do one small thing to show they're not alone.
Let me show you why this works, and more importantly, how to use it starting today.
The neuroscience behind the magic
What makes the Human Lens™ effective isn't just its simplicity; it's how it hijacks your brain's natural empathy circuits. Mirror neurons play a crucial role in neuroscience by enabling individuals to understand and imitate the actions of others. This mirroring mechanism is believed to underlie processes such as empathy, imitation, social cognition, and even language development.
When you encounter someone in distress, your brain has approximately three seconds to decide whether to engage empathetically or protect itself through judgment and distance. The Human Lens™ intervenes in this critical window.
The first question – "What might they be carrying?" immediately shifts your brain from threat detection mode (where judgment lives) to curiosity mode (where empathy thrives). Neuroscience shows that mirror neurons impact our ability to grasp new skills, acquire knowledge, and form deep emotional connections with those around us, even helping us understand why people do what they do.
The second question – "If I were them, what would I want someone to understand?" activates perspective-taking, which literally lights up the same neural pathways as if you were experiencing their situation firsthand. This isn't metaphorical; your brain begins to mirror their emotional state.
The third step – taking one concrete action, completes the empathy circuit by moving from internal processing to external connection, reinforcing the neural pathways that make empathetic responding more automatic over time.
Lens™ in action: Real-world applications
Scenario 1: The workplace conflict
Your usually collaborative colleague suddenly becomes defensive and short-tempered during project discussions.
Without the human lens™: You think, "They're being difficult," and either avoid them or respond with frustration.
With the human lens™:
What might they be carrying? Perhaps they're overwhelmed, received difficult feedback, or are dealing with personal issues.
What would they want me to understand? That their behavior isn't about me or their commitment to the work.
One small action: "Hey, I noticed you seem stressed about this project. Want to grab coffee and talk through what's making it challenging?"
Result: Instead of escalating conflict, you create space for authentic conversation and problem-solving.
Scenario 2: The distant team member
A team member who's usually engaged has become quiet and withdrawn in meetings.
Without the human lens™: You assume they're disengaged or unhappy with their role.
With the human lens™:
What might they be carrying? They could be struggling with imposter syndrome, family stress, or feeling overwhelmed.
What would they want me to understand? That their withdrawal isn't indifference, it might be protection or overwhelm.
One small action: "I've noticed you've been quieter in meetings lately. Just wanted you to know I value your perspective and I'm here if you want to talk."
Result: You preserve their dignity while opening a door for connection and support.
Scenario 3: The personal relationship
A close friend becomes distant and stops initiating contact.
Without the human lens™: You feel hurt and either withdraw yourself or confront them defensively.
With the human lens™:
What might they be carrying? Depression, life transitions, relationship issues, or feeling like a burden.
What would they want me to understand? They care about the friendship but may not have the emotional bandwidth to maintain it right now.
One small action: Send a simple text: "Thinking of you. No need to respond, just wanted you to know I care."
Result: You maintain connection without adding pressure, keeping the door open for deeper conversation when they're ready.
Why traditional empathy training fails
Most empathy approaches fail because they focus on feeling without providing a clear path to effective action. They tell you to "be more understanding" or "put yourself in their shoes," but don't give you concrete tools for what to do with those insights.
The Human Lens™ succeeds because it:
Provides a clear process that can be used in real-time
Respects emotional boundaries by not requiring you to absorb others' emotions
Focuses on small, sustainable actions rather than grand gestures
Works even when you don't have the full context of someone's situation
Builds your empathy muscle through consistent practice
Leadership in 2025 isn't just about strategy and results. It's about fostering human connection, building trust, and empowering teams to thrive. Today's employees crave understanding, respect, and a sense of belonging, qualities nurtured by effective, empathetic leadership.
The key is consistency. Like any skill, empathetic leadership requires practice. The Human Lens™ provides a simple, repeatable framework that makes that practice sustainable.
Beyond the basics: Where the human lens™ creates the biggest impact
In my coaching practice, I've observed that the Human Lens™ becomes most transformative in three specific scenarios where traditional leadership approaches often fail:
When trust has been broken
After team conflicts, missed commitments, or organizational changes, leaders often struggle to rebuild connections. The Human Lens™ provides a pathway back.
A real example from coaching: A department head whose team had lost confidence in him after a failed project launch used the framework to approach each team member individually: "I know this project failure has been frustrating. What might you be carrying about my leadership that I can't see? If I were you, I'd probably be questioning whether I can trust my manager's judgment going forward." This opened honest conversations that rebuilt the team's foundation.
During high-pressure periods
When deadlines loom and stress peaks, empathy often disappears first. Yet this is precisely when teams need it most.
Client observation: A startup CEO noticed that during crunch time, her usually collaborative team became siloed and defensive. By consistently applying the Human Lens™, checking in with "What pressure might each person be carrying?", she maintained team cohesion during their most challenging quarter.
In performance-related conversations
The difference between a Human Lens™ approach and traditional performance management is striking in both process and outcomes.
Coaching insight: Instead of leading with problems ("You've missed three deadlines"), Human Lens™-trained leaders start with curiosity ("I'm noticing some challenges with timelines. What might be making this difficult that I can't see?"). The result is consistently more productive conversations and better outcomes.
Here's how to integrate this method into your daily life:
Week 1: Awareness building - Practice just the first question: "What might they be carrying that I can't see?" Use it in every interaction where you feel judgment or frustration arising. Don't worry about the other steps yet, just notice how this single question shifts your perspective.
Week 2: Perspective taking - Add the second question: "If I were them, what would I want someone to understand?" Practice this in low-stakes situations first: the cashier who seems rushed, the colleague who's running late, the friend who cancels plans.
Week 3: Simple action - Begin incorporating small actions: A kind word, a patient pause, a simple acknowledgement. Remember, the goal isn't to solve their problems, it's to show they're not alone in their experience.
Week 4: Integration - Now use all three steps together. Pay attention to how people respond differently when you approach them through the Human Lens™. Notice how it changes not just their experience, but yours as well.
The ripple effect: Beyond individual transformation
What makes the Human Lens™ particularly powerful is its multiplicative effect. When you consistently approach others with this framework, you don't just improve individual relationships, you model a different way of being that others begin to adopt.
Teams that embrace this approach report:
Increased psychological safety as judgment decreases and curiosity increases
Better conflict resolution as people approach disagreements with empathy rather than defensiveness
Enhanced innovation as diverse perspectives are valued and explored rather than dismissed
Stronger resilience during challenging periods as team members support each other more effectively
Common pitfalls and how to avoid them
Pitfall 1: Empathy overload
The problem: Trying to carry everyone's emotional burdens.
The solution: Remember, the goal is understanding, not absorbing. You can be empathetic without taking on their emotions.
Pitfall 2: The fix-it trap
The problem: Jumping to solutions before understanding the real issue.
The solution: Sometimes, the most empathetic response is simply witnessing someone's experience without trying to change it.
Pitfall 3: Performative empathy
The problem: Using empathetic language without genuine curiosity.
The solution: Focus on authentic curiosity rather than saying the "right" things. People can sense the difference.
Pitfall 4: Empathy fatigue
The problem: Burning out from constant emotional engagement.
The solution: Practice selective empathy. You don't need to use the Human Lens™ in every interaction, reserve it for relationships and situations that matter most.
The science of sustainable empathy
One of the most compelling aspects of the Human Lens™ is how it prevents empathy burnout. Traditional approaches often lead to emotional exhaustion because they require you to absorb others' feelings. The Human Lens™ creates connection through understanding rather than emotional contagion.
Demonstrating empathy in the workplace, a key part of emotional intelligence and leadership effectiveness, also improves human interactions in general and can lead to more effective communication and positive outcomes, in both work and home settings.
This approach aligns with research showing that cognitive empathy (understanding others' perspectives) is more sustainable and effective than emotional empathy (feeling others' emotions) for long-term relationship building and leadership effectiveness.
Your next steps: From reading to practice
The Human Lens™ isn't just a concept to understand, it's a tool to use. Starting today, commit to practising these three simple steps:
Pause and ask: "What might they be carrying that I can't see?"
Consider: "If I were them, what would I want someone to really understand?"
Act: Do one small thing to show they're not alone.
The beauty of this method lies in its simplicity and immediate applicability. You don't need special training, perfect conditions, or even cooperation from the other person. You just need the willingness to see others through a more curious, compassionate lens.
The future of human connection
In an era of increasing digital communication and decreasing face-to-face interaction, the ability to connect authentically with others isn't just a nice-to-have skill, it's essential for leadership, relationship building, and personal fulfilment.
The Human Lens™ offers a practical bridge between our natural empathetic impulses and meaningful action. It's simple enough to remember in the moment, powerful enough to transform relationships, and sustainable enough to practice consistently.
Your empathy is one of your greatest assets. The Human Lens™ simply helps you use it more effectively.
What situation in your life could benefit from the Human Lens™ approach? The most powerful learning happens through practice, choose one relationship or interaction and commit to applying these three steps consistently for the next week. Notice what changes, both in how others respond to you and how you feel about your connections with them.
Read more from Nick Haswell
Nick Haswell, Coach, Speaker & Author
Nick Haswell is a coach, author, and speaker with nearly 20 years’ experience helping people build confidence, clarity, and purpose. He blends practical coaching tools with mindset strategies to empower authentic leadership and personal growth. Nick is the author of the upcoming book The Confident Revolution, inspiring readers to overcome fear and step into their power.
