Surviving the Unthinkable and Empowering Others – Exclusive Interview With Hazel Katherine Larkin
- Brainz Magazine
- Aug 19
- 6 min read
Hazel Katherine Larkin has been the victim of child sexual abuse and incest. trafficking, intimate partner violence, and coercive control. She was raised by a narcissist and a psychopath and learnt about love when she had her own children. Hazel's latest book, Body of Evidence, is available on her website.
Hazel Katherine Larkin, Speaker, Author, Academic, Trauma Authority
Introduce yourself! Please tell us about you and your life, so we can get to know you better.
Content Warning: References to sexual violence throughout.
Growing up in a semi-rural small town in Ireland was, for me, a hideous experience. I was the third child and the first daughter in a family of six siblings. My very first memory is of being sexually abused by my father. He also trafficked me, giving other men sexual access to me. By the time I was 7, both my elder brothers were also sexually abusing me. My mother, who I now know displays nearly all the traits of clinical narcissism, has always blamed me for my own abuse. My younger siblings are so trauma-bonded that they find it easier to champion the abusers rather than the abused.
I escaped Ireland when I was 19 and moved to England. There, I met my first husband, who displays all the characteristics of a psychopath (surprise!). I moved to Singapore with him and spent the next 12 years in Asia. Against my better judgement, I returned to Ireland and to education when my children were still very young. Having completed a BA (Hons) in Psychology and Sociology, an MA in Sexuality Studies, an LLM in International Human Rights Law, and mere months before finishing my PhD thesis, I was diagnosed with ADHD. No wonder life had been so difficult!
What inspired you to create Trauma Recovery, and how has your personal journey influenced the services you offer?
When I was trying to recover from my own traumas, the things I really needed were not available. Decades after I first started therapy, those things were still unavailable. So, I decided to create them. Among the services I offer are specialised training to midwives, doctors, doulas, dentists, and other healthcare professionals to help them recognise and treat abuse survivors with trauma-aware compassion and understanding. I also offer training in how to deal with disclosure to teachers, social workers, counsellors, and anyone else who may require it.
As I conducted research for my PhD, I realised that the therapies offered to survivors fell far short of what we need. Much of what is offered does not address all the complexities and challenges of moving from victimhood to survivorhood. This is largely due to the fact that the current models are based on ideas around psychology and trauma that were first written about in the late 1800s and early 1900s. These pronouncements were based on the thoughts and opinions of white, European, affluent, privileged, neurotypical men. Most people working in the field of trauma and abuse are still basing their practices on training which has been informed by these men. At best, it works against survivors of sexual violence; at worst, it compounds the damage we have already suffered. I challenge what is accepted and revise it so that my work actually serves the people who come to me for help.
Can you elaborate on the structure and objectives of your specialized programs, such as The Lilac, Ivy, Pink Orchid, and Verbena Programmes?
The Programmes I offer are unique to Trauma Recovery and address very serious gaps in what is otherwise available to survivors and those who support them both personally and professionally. The Lilac Programme, for example, is a twelve-week programme for parents who were sexually abused as children. Available in person or online, it addresses difficulties and concerns that people have around parenting as a result of sexual violence that they have been subjected to. Several things make it unique: Each group is a closed, single-sex group with a limit of eight participants; meetings have specific themes and are supported by worksheets that participants are invited to complete between meetings. Between meetings, I check in with each person to see how they are doing. At the end of the programme, further support is available online on MeWe, a social networking platform.
The Pink Orchid Programme is exclusively for women who have histories of child sexual abuse and who would like to reclaim their sexuality. Like The Lilac Programme, it runs for twelve weeks, is available in-person or online, and there is support in the form of worksheets and weekly check-ins. I also offer a three-day retreat based on the Programme for women who would prefer that. (For the avoidance of doubt, all work is completed fully clothed.)
I designed The Ivy Programme for other daughters of narcissistic mothers. Narcissistic mothers poison their daughters: They lie, undermine, ridicule, invalidate, and gaslight us. The Ivy Programme for daughters of narcissistic mothers is the antidote to that poison.
Each session in this eight-week programme is packed full of learning, information, and the opportunity to practice what you’re learning. I guarantee that your truth will be heard, borne witness to, and validated by other women who have experienced very similar things.
Working through a series of topics, including shame, guilt, forgiveness (forgiveness is yours to give or withhold), trust, boundaries, and grief, you will learn techniques to deal with your narcissistic mother and gain opportunities to practice these techniques with other participants. You will be offered the opportunity to build your own community with other women in a similar situation. This community will last long after the programme ends.
How do you ensure that your services are trauma-informed and accessible to those who need them most?
That’s a great question, especially when “trauma-informed care” is something that everyone and their cat is claiming to offer these days. My services are based on my own research with survivors of abuse, not just my own experiences or a few popular books that I have read. My work is also informed by the feedback I get on my own books, articles, lectures, and workshops. People often contact me when they come across my work. They tell me how what I have said or written helps them make sense of their own experiences; helps them feel less alone, and helps them see that there is help available specific to their requirements.
Making my work accessible to those who would benefit from it is difficult because organisations are often reluctant to engage with the reality of the prevalence of sexual violence. As a result, they lack the will to address the issue. In Ireland, for example, very few professional bodies or training institutions recognise the need to educate their members, students, and staff on the issue.
In your view, what are the most significant challenges faced by individuals recovering from trauma, and how do you assist in overcoming them?
I think the most significant challenge faced by people who have suffered trauma is that “trauma-informed” is the phrase du jour. It’s a bandwagon that many self-styled experts have jumped on with little understanding of trauma, how it manifests, and how to help traumatised people. There is also a lot of semantic bleaching around the word “trauma” itself. While it is wonderful that trauma is recognised as having real, life-long effects on people, not every upset is traumatic. Diluting the meaning of the word does a disservice to people who are genuinely suffering and may even have the effect of preventing them from accessing help. The converse is also true; attributing every symptom a person experiences to trauma means that other syndromes or diseases may be ignored. In my own case, this meant that I attributed all my issues with anxiety, single-tasking, overwhelm, etc., to trauma. Two years ago, an occupational therapist observed that I had done a lot of work on dealing with my trauma. She suggested that any residual symptoms might be symptoms of neurodivergence. She was right, I have severe ADHD. Thankfully, my diagnosis led to a life-changing prescription and a significant improvement in my quality of life.
What role does your podcast, 'Woman Up!', play in your mission, and what topics do you aim to address through it?
Woman Up! is a podcast by, for, and about women, and the issues that matter to us. The podcast is more a labour of love than a specific element of my work. That said, everything I do is informed by my feminism, my experiences, my interests, and my work. As a result, there is often overlap between the expertise of my guests and my own.
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