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Stop The Blame Game – The Only Person Responsible For Your Stress Is You

Written by: Christiane Foerster, Executive Contributor

Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.


You feel stressed often? And you believe that your stress is a given thing, an inevitable fate? Then let me impart in you the desire to finally get your stress level under control – and convince you that stress coaching can help you with that.

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The stress with the stress

For most people, stress is a constant companion ‒ sometimes more, sometimes less. Stress is our body´s answer to things that require our attention, especially potential risks or danger. Under stress our nervous system supplies the body with energy for a proper reaction (“fight/flight/freeze”). To a certain extent stress protects us and helps us to achieve temporary high performance.

However, excessive negative stress over extended periods of time can significantly harm both physical and mental health. Symptoms like sleep disorders, difficulties to concentrate, headache/migraine, gastrointestinal upsets, cardiovascular problems, tinnitus, diabetes, back pain, weight gain or addictive behaviour (e.g., alcohol consumption) are serious early warning signs that your stress is getting out of hand.

The brain, when in a stressed state, has a tendency to focus exclusively on potential threats ‒ positive aspects are no longer perceived. Stressed people are in a kind of “problem trance” from which they cannot free themselves without external resources and impulses. They are convinced that they are powerless against their stress…

I know exactly what I am talking about because in my previous life as a leader in the automotive industry I have experienced it myself over years: The ceaseless excess of topics, demands and expectations. The feeling of emptiness, being burned out and panic. The continuous decrease of physical and mental capacity until at some point I simply stopped functioning. Even today, more than 2.5 years after I left my corporate life, I still suffer from tinnitus, back pain, and sleep disorders.

What if your stress is YOUR decision?

You have probably already realized that different people react differently to identical stress triggers: What one person experiences as highly stressful may have no impact at all on another person. This is because how we perceive a potential stress trigger consists of only 10% of the facts and 90% of our evaluation of the facts. And how we evaluate the facts, in turn, is determined by our experience, beliefs, and values. They shape our individual reality.

The facts are the facts – they are neutral by nature. How they are processed in your head, which “stress tales” you tell yourself, which questions you ask and how much stress they induce – this is entirely up to you and your framework of experiences, beliefs, and values!

The great news is that this framework can be altered! You can learn to

  • identify your individual “stress tales”, make yourself aware of them and find new, more helpful narratives

  • optimize your attitude towards stress

  • avoid unnecessary negative stress

  • ease your stress both mentally and physically

  • establish lightness, serenity, and well-being

  • manifest resilience and inner balance in your everyday life

  • deliver high performance while remaining in balance

All you need is the desire for a new way of life, personal growth and development, some time and discipline!

My personal experience has shown me how constant negative stress can harm well-being, joy and quality of living. I have learned to deal with my stress in a constructive way and today I want to be the coach I would have needed back then and help others to take control of their stress, too.

Follow me on LinkedIn, and visit my website for more information on stress coaching and healthy stress management.


Christiane Foerster, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine

Christiane Foerster is an experienced stress coach with a passion for healthy stress management. Having worked in various executive positions in the automotive industry for over 20 years, Foerster experienced herself to what extent constant negative stress can harm both physical and mental health. She decided to quit from her corporate position, become a stress coach and help others to manage their stress in a healthy and productive way.



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