Stop Playing Hard to Get and Why Being Authentically Busy Makes You Magnetic to Men
- Brainz Magazine
- Jul 31
- 3 min read
Founder of The Yalini Experience, Yalini has qualifications in Psychology and a Master's Degree in Social and Political Science. She is a certified Master Practitioner in Hypnotherapy, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), and Timeline Therapy.
"Know your worth, make him wait!" Sound familiar? In today's dating world, you're often told that being hard to get is the way to a man's heart. So you carefully orchestrate your availability – waiting hours to respond to texts, pretending to be too busy for dates, and making sure your social media shows a packed calendar.
But here's what nobody's talking about: men can sense when you're playing these games. Just like they can tell when a woman is genuinely engaged in a life she loves – and that authentic energy? It's magnetic.
I see this with my clients all the time. Like Jessica, who came to me exhausted from pretending to be busy. She'd perfected the art of appearing unavailable, thinking it would make men value her more. Instead, she found herself drained from the constant performance, and still without the deep connection she yearned for.
Here's the truth that transformed Jessica's dating life: You don't need to pretend to be busy when you're actually creating a life you love. True attraction isn't born from artificial scarcity – it flows naturally from a woman who's genuinely invested in her own happiness and growth.
Think about it. When you're pursuing your passions, nurturing real friendships, and chasing your dreams, something magical happens. You stop obsessing over when he'll text back because you're actually engaged in activities that light you up. Your happiness isn't hanging on his attention because you're already fulfilled. This authentic engagement in your own life creates a natural, magnetic attraction that no amount of playing hard to get can replicate.
Shift from performing busyness to embodying genuine magnetism
1. Invest in real fulfillment
Instead of pretending to have plans, create a life that genuinely excites you. Pursue interests that make you lose track of time. When you're truly engaged in your own journey, you won't need to fake unavailability – your calendar will naturally be filled with activities you love.
2. Let attraction flow naturally
When you're fulfilled in your own life, you can respond to his attention from a place of genuine choice rather than need. His interest becomes a bonus to your already satisfying life, not the main event.
3. Trust in authentic energy
Men can feel the difference between a woman who's pretending to be busy and one who's genuinely living a life she loves. That authentic joy and engagement is infinitely more attractive than any dating strategy.
Remember, being "high value" isn't about creating artificial scarcity in your availability. It's about being so genuinely invested in your own life that you naturally become magnetic. And that authentic joy and fulfilment? It's what naturally draws the right person to you. No games required.
And when the right man comes along, just remember to make some time for him too.
Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube, and visit my website for more info or subscribe to the Lead From Love Podcast!
Yalini Nirmalarajah, Self-Love & Relationship Coach
Yalini Nirmalarajah, a global Self-Love and Relationship Coach, empowers women to reclaim the source of their light, their feminine essence and intuition. In societies where women are taught to be more like men, her guidance helps women overcome this false conditioning so they can heal from the trauma it’s created, reconnect with their emotional bodies, and live authentically from their hearts. Inspired by this mission, she launched the Lead From Love Podcast.
Founder of The Yalini Experience, Yalini has qualifications in Psychology and a Master's Degree in Social and Political Science. She is a certified Master Practitioner in Hypnotherapy, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), and Timeline Therapy. Her expertise extends to post-graduate training in Rebirthing Breathwork, Iridology, Sclerology, Health, and Wellness. Yalini is dedicated to continuous development to provide the highest quality care for all her clients.
