Written by: Elizabeth Carney, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
When you find yourself in crisis getting up in the morning can be a challenge. Understanding how you can break out of the situation you find yourself in can be overwhelming. One person's tsunami-like crisis may be just a ripple in the pond for someone else because being in crisis is generally the result of our own perceptions of a situation. It's the point at which whatever is going on intolerably exceeds your specific resources or coping mechanisms.
How to recognise you are in crisis
Sometimes, we are so caught up in our daily routines that we don't even recognise we are in crisis. Who we truly are has been eroded, as we hide behind the masks that we create to maintain order with the people in our life. Landing in crisis can be a very subtle progression, requiring an extreme event to shock us back into awareness that something needs to change or, it may be a dawning realisation that life is not exactly as we thought it was. Crisis, however, does not require major drama. It does not even need to be the response to a specific external event or series of events. A state of crisis can also be internal; the response to answering the question: "Who am I?" The crisis is not the actual events it is a response to them. So, how do you recognise the patterns that lead to this moment?
Typical patterns that indicate you are in crisis
Over the last ten years, I have identified the following typical patterns:
Imbalance: Your life feels as if it's not what you thought it was, even if you can't put your finger on exactly what's wrong,
Image: Keeping up appearances is vitally important, often at the risk of not facing reality. You'll dress up and show up, insisting everything is fine.
Identity: You start to question who you are, after many years of hiding behind the masks of your various roles, partner/wife, mother, colleague and so on. Now everything has changed – job loss, divorce, empty nest or dying parents – often all at once. I am no longer shocked by how many women tell me this has happened to them.
Individuality: It's easier to fit in than to stand out; your individuality becomes suppressed as you become your roles. Who you are and what you want, have long ceased to be important as you manage the demands of others in your life.
Integrity: You accommodate the needs of others at the expense of your own, sacrificing your personal, inner integrity in the process. It's time to acknowledge what's inside of you, your beliefs and choices and be true to you.
Influence: You believe that nobody listens to you, so your opinions no longer matter. When you simply go with the flow it becomes harder to speak up and be heard.
Impact: Apathy sets in; you disengage because there is no point in doing certain things, or perhaps in doing anything at all. When you think nobody listens it is easier not to participate.
Imagination: You lose touch with reality as your imagination verges on paranoia. You are, imagining what you could have done differently, fabricating scenarios that never happened except in your mind. You blame yourself, becoming incapable of visualising a way forward.
Independence: Unplanned independence throws you into a crisis of confusion; alternatively, you cannot break free of the circumstances that have enforced your dependency. You are either stuck in the same old situation or you have been thrust into a new one, not of your choosing. Neither is aligned with your wishes.
Intuition: You become blind and deaf to the messages of your intuition making decisions that are not in your best interests. You may have closed your intuition down or knowingly refuse to listen to the messages you know are the key to a better alternative.
Most people will spot themselves in one or more of these patterns. Many will repeat them for years, externally putting on a show while internally struggling. Often others will see the crisis unfolding before we do. Sometimes those 'others,' are also part of the problem. It is only when they are gone, that things become clearer.
What is your next step?
So, what can you do to move forward? First, by acknowledging there is a problem you have taken the hardest first step. Next, it's important to establish the scale of the crisis – how bad is it? Then, it's time to take responsibility. You need to ask yourself what part you played in getting to the current situation and accept responsibility for it – letting go of blame and being the victim of the scenario. After this, you take responsibility for making the changes you want to make. Both the obvious and the underlying patterns require space to be deconstructed and reprogrammed. Only when there is space can you create the life you want. And finally – don't be afraid to ask for help. You are never alone!
Take the first step to evaluate what's going on for you, by completing this short quiz. Just click here and get some answers to highlight what you have been avoiding.
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Elizabeth Carney, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Elizabeth Carney is a transformational coach, natural healer, business mentor and adviser. She has been called a ‘soul-fixer’. Elizabeth uses a holistic approach to create the unique changes required by each individual. Clients experience transformation – releasing the past, rebooting and rebuilding an authentic life on their terms. As an accredited Master Coach with a 25-year international corporate background, a Reiki Master and Vibrational Sound Therapist she finds herself in a unique position that spans the world of business processes and the processes of life and living. She is currently coaching online and looks forward to welcoming more visitors and coaching clients to her beautiful house in Italy.
