Written by: Henrik Pettersson, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Self-esteem means of course — to have a good feeling for oneself. At the same time, it is about building one's personality around well-chosen qualities. And take control of their lives.
And since it's hard to get a feel for yourself, if you do not know who you are, you should find out. Identify the traits that you want to stand for overtime. Strong and weak sides; are you creative, risk-taking, flexible, strong, fast, and impatient? Are you thoughtful, thorough, managerial, down-to-earth, responsible?
And so on.
And if you want to reason your way to what increases – or decreases self-esteem, you can consider it a kind of personal currency. With assets increasing in debit, and liabilities increase in credit.
Assets/Debit
Body language is perhaps the clearest sign of self-esteem. The eye contact, the smile that comes from within, and the unadulterated smile that shines with optimism.
Self-esteem radiates through attitude. See, for example, the American golfer Koepka who walks across the fairway straight in the back like a pine. To show himself and others that he is proud of himself and his Native American origins.
The greatest asset, however, is the character that is characterized by perseverance, the ability to take action, resist disappointment and adversity.
To listen to your own dreams rather than the critical opinions of others. To move forward step by step, with both heart and brain as a guide, with perseverance and discipline as friends.
To do what you say you should do, when you say you should do it. Not to lie even to oneself. Not to be hurt or offended when self-esteem is challenged. To be able to laugh at oneself.
Coming to the realization – that every time you make your fellow human beings feel better, your assets in the account increase, which pays off in self-esteem that can move mountains.
Debt/Credit
Every time you blame your failures on others, every time you lie to get out of difficult situations, every time you deviate from your plan – your debt increases.
For every negative word you utter, self-esteem decreases. Banish destructive thoughts.
Every time you feel contempt for people you currently feel are "less" than yourself, self-esteem may increase in the short term but decrease in the longer term. In the same way, revenge works — short-term sweet, long-term sour.
"It’s on me", is instead perhaps the most important meaning of self-esteem, together with seeing opportunities before difficulties, faith in success, and the ability to take action.
While your self-esteem increases when you are interested in other people, listen to them instead of constantly thinking about yourself.
Self-esteem increased with mantras such as Armand Duplantis when he learned enough Swedish to be able to hold the victory interview after winning the gold medal in the Olympics. A thing that became a mantra – and also charmed the Swedish people that helped him jump higher than the competition. A formula that ensured the expected success.
Do not underestimate the mantra, which unlocks the doors, or which closes your potential. And the lack of faith in the success that risks following you through life as a tattoo.
In summary
Every time you say no to temptation, a piece of cake to the coffee, a relaxing beer after a round of golf, or act against your instincts to dodge difficult things. And put your sourdoughs in the oven instead of letting them lie and ferment.
So it increases your self-esteem, right?
And makes you feel in control and a player of chess – instead of being a piece on the board – in the hands of others.
Try to keep a journal for a week, over debit and credit, things that increase and decrease your self-esteem, your charisma, your faith, and your belief in success. And you will find self-esteem in constant improvement.
And find that the need to interrupt other people in their minds, to emphasize yourself, will diminish, just as the desperate longing for confirmation and the inability to see things from new perspectives.
Good luck!
Henrik Pettersson, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Since 2004, Henrik has been working as a coach, educator, and motivational speaker around Europe. Life is about growth. The challenge to growth is to gain boldness to handle our fears and vulnerability. To strengthen your spine – to be able to handle your challenges towards stronger results. Life’s tough at times, and the formula for gaining more boldness, and dig deep into, is Faith – Energy – Focus. His new book is built on the three pillars above and is called: program yourself to success. Henrik is frequently hired by large companies like Volvo, H&M, and Avis.
