Written by: Melissa Marie Lopez, Senior Level Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Understanding decolonized parenting as a reproductive justice practice.
Parenting practices and beliefs are deeply rooted in culture and societal norms, often perpetuating oppressive structures and systems. Decolonized parenting is a practice that challenges these norms and values, emphasizing the need for parenting to be rooted in the principles of reproductive justice. Reproductive justice is a framework that centers the lived experiences and autonomy of individuals and communities, particularly those who have been historically marginalized and oppressed. It recognizes that access to comprehensive reproductive healthcare, including pregnancy, childbirth, and parenting, is a fundamental human right.
Decolonized parenting as a reproductive justice practice seeks to break down the power structures that perpetuate oppressive parenting norms and practices, particularly those that have been imposed on communities through colonization and Western imperialism. It recognizes the importance of centering community knowledge, traditions, and practices in parenting, while also acknowledging the need to challenge harmful beliefs and practices. In this way, decolonized parenting is not just about raising children, but about reimagining and transforming the way we think about parenting and family structures, and ultimately working towards a more just and equitable society for all.
Decolonizing Parenting And Letting Go Of Perfection
The concept of decolonizing parenting involves rejecting the idea of the "perfect parent" and instead embracing the imperfections that come with the experience of raising a child. This approach acknowledges that there is no one "right" way to parent and that each family must find their own path. Decolonizing parenting also recognizes the ways in which Western ideas about parenting have been imposed on other cultures, often with harmful consequences. By rejecting these colonialist attitudes and embracing diverse approaches to parenting, families can create a more just and equitable world for their children. At the heart of decolonized parenting is mindfulness, which involves being present in the moment,non-judgmentally, and with an open mind. By cultivating mindfulness, Parents can become more attuned to their own needs and those of their children, which can lead to more fulfilling and joyful experiences of parenting. Ultimately, decolonizing parenting is about letting go of the idea of perfection and instead embracing the messy, complex, and beautiful realities of raising a child in a world that is far from perfect. It is about creating space for love, connection, and growth, and about recognizing that every parent, and every child, is unique and worthy of respect and compassion.
Mindfulness As A Tool for Decolonized Parenting
In the context of decolonized parenting, mindfulness can be a powerful tool for letting go of the myth of the perfect parent and embracing imperfection. Mindfulness is the practice of being present in the moment and nonjudgmentally observing one's thoughts and feelings. Mindfulness can help parents become more aware of their own biases and assumptions, as well as the societal messages that can contribute to the myth of the perfect parent. By practicing mindfulness, parents can begin to let go of the need to be perfect and instead focus on being present and authentic with their children.
Mindfulness can also help parents cultivate a sense of self-compassion, which is essential for letting go of guilt and shame. By treating themselves with kindness and understanding, parents can create a safe and supportive environment for themselves and their children.
Embracing Imperfection In Parenting As A Path To Reproductive Justice
The concept of the perfect parent is deeply rooted in the Western patriarchal notion of nuclear family and individualism. This notion emphasizes the idealized and standardized vision of parenting where parents, especially mothers, are expected to be selfless, nurturing, and always in control. However, this model ignores the social, economic, and cultural contexts that shape parenting experiences. A decolonized approach to parenting, on the other hand, recognizes and honors the diversity of parenting styles, cultural practices, and community knowledge. It acknowledges that parenting is not an individual endeavor but rather a collective responsibility that involves the broader community, including extended family,friends, and neighbors.
Reproductive justice aligned philosophies of parenting understand the impact of systemic oppression on parenting and seek to create supportive environments for parents to raise healthy and thriving children. Mindfulness is a tool for parents to create a non-judgmental and compassionate space for themselves and their children. In essence, embracing imperfection in parenting means recognizing that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting. It means acknowledging that making mistakes is a normal and necessary part of the parenting journey.It means shifting from a culture of guilt and shame to a culture of self-compassion and self-care. By embracing imperfection in parenting, we create space for more equitable and just parenting experiences. We can center the voices of marginalized communities and acknowledge the unique challenges that they face. We can recognize the strengths and resilience of these communities and work to create supportive structures that empower parents and children to thrive.
Embracing Imperfection And Mindful Parenting
Raising children is a journey filled with ups and downs, triumphs and setbacks. It is important to remember that there is no such thing as a perfect parent. Each child is unique and requires different approaches to nurturing and guidance. Parents need to let go of the idea that they must be perfect and instead focus on being mindful and present with their children. Mindful parenting involves being fully engaged with your child in the present moment, without judgment or distraction. It requires a focus on the here and now, rather than worrying about the past or future.
Mindfulness can help parents better manage their emotions, improve communication with their children, and foster a stronger parent-child relationship. To practice mindful parenting, start by taking a deep breath and focusing on the present moment. Let go of any distractions or worries and give your child your full attention. Try to see the world through their eyes and be open to their thoughts and feelings. It is also important to practice self-compassion and forgive yourself for any mistakes or imperfections. By embracing imperfection and practicing mindful parenting, parents can let go of guilt and enjoy the journey of raising their children. It is not about being a perfect parent, but rather about being present and engaged with your child in a way that supports their growth and development.
Melissa Marie Lopez, Senior Level Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Since 2020, Melissa has been the driving force behind the growth of the New Mexico Doula Association (NMDA) as its first Executive Director. As a vital community-based organization for doulas across New Mexico, NMDA has become a champion in the birth and reproductive justice movements. Melissa has worked tirelessly to create policies and systemic changes that protect reproductive health and minimize maternal morbidity, specifically for black and indigenous, LGBTQ, Transgender, and other communities. Her dedication to these causes has resulted in significant grant funding, and she has fostered productive partnerships with healthcare providers, community organizations, and government officials.
Her passion for birth and reproductive justice is what drives her to create positive change in her community. Melissa's reputation as an innovative and solutions-focused Executive Director is well-deserved, given her stellar background in healthcare and holistic wellness, and her proven record of building organizations from the ground up. But Melissa's passion for community work doesn't end with her role at NMDA. As the Founder/GM of Las Cruces Doula, LLC, Melissa and her collective of providers offer the full spectrum of doula services and lactation support, incorporating traditional and evidence-based approaches to care.
