Redefining Human Relationships Through the Ally Ethos
- Brainz Magazine
- Jul 15
- 5 min read
Written by Matthew Hutcheson, E.P.I.C.™ Philosophy
Matthew Hutcheson is well-known for having survived a politically motivated false allegation leading to his eventual incarceration. Now, Hutcheson and his wife advise law firms and organizations of all sizes on leadership and strategy. He is the author of the book Rapport, published in 2025, and the host of the E.P.I.C. podcast.
This article contends that the truest form of human relationship is not friendship, but allyship, defined by ethos, permanence, and protective loyalty.
In global affairs, the word "ally" evokes images of formal alliances, countries bound by treaties, mutual interests, and shared threats. These are strategic partnerships: practical, transactional, and often fragile. In contrast, within The Philosophy of Hutch™, the word "ally" is redefined entirely. It is elevated to represent the rarest and most sacred form of human relationship.
What most people call "friendship" is often a complex tangle of expectations, emotional volatility, and vulnerability without safety. But there is something deeper, holier, and more enduring than friendship: the Ally Relationship. This essay draws a sharp contrast between traditional political alliances (Ally Type A) and personal allyship (Ally Type B), as defined by Hutcheson’s teachings in Protective Leadership™, The Philosophy of Hutch™, and the E.P.I.C. framework.
Ally (type a): Political, transactional, and temporary
Definition
An ally in the political context is a nation that has formally agreed to cooperate with another for mutual benefit, typically through treaties, defense pacts, or economic arrangements. These relationships are tactical and often held together by necessity rather than affection or loyalty. Political allies are usually temporary and often strained, held together by mutual interest, not moral conviction.
Such alliances are subject to public opinion, political convenience, and economic pressure. They are fragile, often riddled with suspicion, and easily dissolved.
Ally (type b): Interpersonal, sacrosanct, and permanent
Definition (The philosophy of Hutch™)
An ally is the highest and holiest form of human relationship, surpassing acquaintance and even friendship. A true ally protects, advocates, uplifts, and never leaves, even when it's hard. Governed by ethos, not reaction, these rare connections form the bedrock of personal safety, healing, and transformation. True allies are permanent and feel easy because love, presence, and advocacy are their native postures.
Unlike friendships that are vulnerable to reactionary judgment, an ally remains constant. This relationship is marked by loyalty without conditions and commitment without fear.
The ladder of human relationships
As described in The Philosophy of Hutch Part 46 and Part 122, there are three ascending levels of human relationship:
Acquaintances – Abundant, naturally occurring, and superficial.
Friends – Fewer in number, but often vulnerable to drama, betrayal, and breakdown.
Allies – Rare, resilient, permanent, and redemptive.
Friendships often operate in what psychologists call the Karpman Drama Triangle, a loop of victim, rescuer, and persecutor. Most friendships unravel under this weight because they are governed by reaction, not ethos.
Related article: The Cure for Rappathy is Organizational Emotional Entrainment
The ethos of the ally relationship
Ethos is a Greek word meaning "disposition." It reflects one’s natural orientation to fulfill moral duty, act with integrity, and serve others selflessly. In The Philosophy of Hutch™, an Ally Relationship is defined by this internal compass. Two key laws govern it:
Each party does exactly what he or she says they will do.
Neither party ever encroaches upon the wellbeing of the other.
These are not agreements. They are dispositions of character. And they separate allies from all other relational categories. You don’t become an ally because of how you feel. You become an ally because of who you are.
Ally relationships are not born out of need, but out of moral strength. They are forged in adversity and proven in silence, when no one else is watching, or equally difficult, when everyone is.
Related article: Rapport is the Invisible Thread of Leadership
The Ally response: What happens when you fail
The defining moment of any relationship is not how someone treats you when you succeed, but how they respond when you fail. Here, the contrast becomes crystal clear:
An acquaintance looks away. A friend backs away. An ally leans in, absorbs the blowback, and becomes a heat shield. An ally doesn’t ask, “How could you?” An ally says, “We will get through this.”
Related article: Protective Leadership
The three laws of eMotion
The difficulties of ordinary “friendships” are explained by what I call the “Three Laws of eMotion,” adapted from Sir Isaac Newton:
“A rumor spreads at a constant rate unless acted upon by an external force.”
“Influence = Reputation x Credibility.”
“For every word spoken by you about another, there is an equal and opposite number of words spoken by others about you.”
Friendships fall squarely within this “eMotion” dynamic, but allies avoid this trap, not by maneuvering around it, but by floating above it.
Related article: What Every CEO Could Learn from Prison Shot Callers
Historical examples of allyship
Examples of true ally relationships include:
David and Jonathan (Bible)
Helen Keller and Annie Sullivan
J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis
Lucille Ball and Carol Burnett
Bob Hope and Dwight Eisenhower
Matthew Hutcheson and Lee Ofner
These relationships were defined not by what each person got from the other, but by the mutual ethos that preserved them.
Why this matters
In an age dominated by networking, transactional friendships, and performative loyalty, the Ally Ethos reclaims the sacredness of human connection. Few will experience it. Even fewer will become it. You try to explain your deepest need, but you can’t. It’s not money, power, or even love. What you need more than anything else is communion with an ally.
Allyship is not a role. It is a revelation, about the person you choose to be.
If we are to build cultures of safety, trust, and moral courage, we must abandon our addiction to reaction and commit ourselves to ethos. In the E.P.I.C. model, this is the fusion of Ethos and Carry-On: you become someone who protects and prevails, no matter what. In the end, what every human truly seeks is not more friends, but one true ally. That’s all it takes to change a life.
Acquaintances come and go. We barely notice.
We need fewer friends and less drama.
We need more allies, and the permanent safety that only ethos can create.
Read more from Matthew Hutcheson
Matthew Hutcheson, E.P.I.C.™ Philosophy
Matthew Hutcheson is a leader's leader. After years of working with elected officials in Washington, D.C. and powerful law firms around the world, he found himself in federal prison following a political dispute turned political attack. There, he developed a philosophy for overcoming trauma titled E.P.I.C.™ and helped over 200 inmates earn their GED's. Today, he provides leadership training to organizations on every continent and advises premier law firms on strategy. His mission: Help others to "defeat anything, triumph over everything, be limited by nothing, and emerge as an unstoppable force."
References:
Newton, I. (1687). Philosophiæ naturalis principia mathematica. Royal Society.
