Reality Truths "The Mental Circle of Life"
- Mar 26, 2021
- 4 min read
Written by: Mendy Linden, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
"We are one amongst many in one mind, and only the brightest gets to shine and come out to the world."
I know this sounds creepy, but when I say many in one, I don't mean multiple personalities. This is not a split sequel. It means everything we are, our fears, our hopes, our dreams, our needs. We have been taught for too long that to make it in today's world. We need to show only the best of ourselves, not our struggles or insecurities.
In short, buckle up, buttercup, and keep moving.
So we do so, dealing only with what does not disrupt the image we have constructed for the world and pushing everything else deep down to the darkest corners of our mind.
Enter The Shadow
The shadow is the place in your psyche where we put all the feelings we can’t or don’t want to deal with.
Picture the shadow as a jewelry box, with lots of drawers where we carefully store all the things we can’t or don’t want to deal with. It is not a new place. We built it throughout our childhood as since then, whenever a situation feels or looks like one of the things you put in this box, you get notified in the form of thought and/or feeling.
How does the shadow work?
Children and young adults experience raw emotions with little or no limits. They have not developed a framework to deal with complex situations (loss, shame, guilt, blame) and base their decision-making process on feelings and reactions to pain.
No one wants to hurt. Therefore it becomes second nature to avoid pain and push uncomfortable feelings where we don't have to deal with them "jewelry box." This simple act defines how we will deal with our reality, issues, feelings, pain, loss, challenges and, as a result, shapes everything we do from our career to our choice of partner as adults.
If, as a child, you were not allowed to cry, to express sorrow or guilt, and healthily process those feelings, you are most likely an adult with little empathy for sensible or expressive people and who could consider emotional displays a sign of weakness.
Whatever pain you don't deal with as a child will come back to haunt you as an adult, influencing your tomorrow as much as it influenced your today.
For example, crowded rooms are scary, dogs are dangerous, having visceral reactions to impromptu situations.
The more clutter we have in this box, the harder it becomes to function in the present. Like a saturated inbox, we receive constant notifications, like pop-ups on our smartphones that we can’t ignore.
How many times have you snapped at someone for being emotional or punishing yourself for feeling tired or scared?
Are you afraid of public speaking?
Is it hard for you to be clear about what you want?
Can you see now how this bleeds all over your life? Romantic relationships, business, the overall feeling of well-being, meeting new friends, but most importantly, your relationship with yourself.
Nobody comes out of their childhood with an empty box," we all have a Shadow place," filled with truths that, when faced, will free us.
How do we solve this?
To create a light state of being, you need to go on a journey to the jewelry store, open the box and clean the jewelry. Imagine each piece is an issue, a burden you have been carrying around and as you wipe of the dust, start embracing how it makes you feel, process each feeling, and allow your mind to process this new sentiment. You will discover the hidden gems within you.
Keep on cleaning up the energy every day, and commit yourself to feel enough, loved, wanted, admired, supported, and healed, and that is what you will become.
As with the most important things in life, it takes time to get there, but when you do, light breaks out, and a sense of belonging and love will come to stay.
Clearing out the shadow means embracing each step, each feeling. And it is less scary to do so with someone you trust. You don't have to do it alone.
I intend to offer you space where you can learn about foundational work to build self-acceptance, self-understanding, and ultimately self-mastery.
To start our relationship, I invite you to answer this question...
How do you feel about yourself?
If you struggled to answer and are serious about taking the next step, reach out, post in the comments, and/or connect with me in this group, where we continuously add value to each other lives by discovering what our true journey looks like.
And remember, I will be here at Brainz Magazine bringing you an article a month and hoping to hear about your challenges.
Mendy Linden, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Mendy is the inspiring creator of the Self Leadership program ‘Living Free & Fulfilled’, about growing emotionally, mentally, energetically and financially. She welcomes women to this self-discovery journey to uncover, understand and embrace their inner demons as a source of untapped potential and resilience to find their inner strength. Driven by an unsettling feeling of “not belonging”, Mendy is no stranger to the hurdles of life. The self-worth and preservation she found within is what fuelled her to embark on an adventure, to not only transform herself into a happier and more conscious person, but to also become an intuitive guide for every woman wishing to change their life. Helping them to rewrite their narratives. In the past 13 years, Mendy has helped clients, on a one-to-one basis, to achieve their life goals. She does this by providing her clients with the tools to face their fears and break the barriers that impede self-love, growth, fulfillment and success.
