Putting Pleasure First
- Nov 30, 2021
- 5 min read
Updated: Dec 2, 2021
Written by: Beth Brown, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Beloveds, as we move into the hustle and bustle busy-ness of the holidays, micro-dosing moments of pleasure in your life is paramount for our well-being.
We’re not socially conditioned to put pleasure as a priority in our lives. We’re conditioned to obey authority, work long hours, spend our money on material things we think will make us happy, and we’re conditioned to squelch our natural primal sexual desires.
However, putting pleasure first, especially our sexual pleasure, keeps us vibrantly alive and in our full power. Being in touch with our erotic power, aka our creative life-force energy, keeps us in successful relationships with our partners, as well as ourselves.
For centuries, we’ve internalized the archaic patriarchal conditioning that sexual pleasure is taboo, bad, sinful and something we just don’t freely talk about. We’re offered a bare minimum, inadequate or even medically incorrect sex education in middle school, then left to figure it out on our own as we haphazardly make our way through romantic relationships, partnerships, marriages, separations and divorces.
In the ancient days of some cultures, young men and women were schooled in the art of sex and how to pleasure themselves and their partners. It’s a shame the art of giving and receiving pleasure has been lost in the western culture; especially since being fully expressed in our sexuality keeps us happy, loving and living a life that is radiantly vibrant.
And here’s a nugget of awakening—It’s an absolute myth that sexual pleasure stops at a certain age and that as we get older, we’re no longer sexually vital or attractive with our wrinkles, age spots and sagging skin.
Pleasure in the Middle Ages & Beyond
Yes, it’s true that as we age, our parts don’t function quite as gracefully as they did when we were younger. Three of the golden keys to arousal in the middle-ages are anticipation, mindfulness and presence.
We can also pleasure ourselves and our lover(s) through touch, taste and creative exploration with no expectations other than the allowing of the giving and receiving of nurturance. The most important thing to remember is to remain playful and open to discovering or re-discovering what feels good as we embrace our aging sexuality.
We can experience hot sexual pleasure for the rest of our lives, with or without a partner, as long as we stay healthy, are open to exploring and owning our sexuality, and keep open communication with our lovers. In fact, sex is truly an anti-aging activity. The more tapped in, tuned in and turned on we are around our sexuality, the more alive and vibrant we become. Like a good, fine wine, sex can be even more satisfying and we can become even more adventurous in our explorations of our sexuality as we age.
Exploring the Pleasure Dome
Some may finally feel free to explore and experiment in realms of their sexuality they had been afraid to venture into or never knew existed before. I often refer to this adventurous state as exploring new rooms of the “Pleasure Dome.”
As the saying goes, “with age comes wisdom” and that applies to our sexuality as well. With our maturing sexual wisdom comes the understanding that as our bodies age and transition, our turn-ons and arousals transition as well.
Exploration into new territories of sexual pleasure is key to discovering new turn-ons and arousals as we transition. If you’re only playing in one area of your Pleasure Dome, try expanding your sexual expression and become fluent in areas you’ve never considered exploring. In my work as an Erotic Blueprint™ Coach, I help my clients expand from their primary Blueprint into other Blueprints so that they are fluent in all of the 5 Erotic Blueprints™. Experiment and get your pleasure on!
Here are some ideas to get your exploration juices flowing with your partner:
Tune in to the uniquely designed instrument of pleasure that is your body and discover what kind of touch/sex play gives you the most pleasure, then teach your lover how to exquisitely play your instrument.
Stretch the boundaries by adding fantasy and sensation play, erotica or kink.
Self-pleasure yourselves with each other.
Build anticipation by indulging in a slow and sensual exploration of the senses with taste, sound, touch, sight, and smell...without any expectations of intercourse.
Be daring, though discreet, and have sex outside surrounded by nature.
Make delicious foods for you and your lover and sensually feed each other.
Read or write your own erotic poetry and share it with your lover.
And, of course, it’s super fun to add new toys to your “pleasure cave” adventures. (With toys, don’t forget a good water-based lube!)
Take the Erotic Blueprint™ Quiz to determine your unique wiring for arousal! (click on the link here to take the quiz!)
If you’re solo at the moment, do a deep-dive into exploring every delicious crevice of your own body with various-textured sensation items to determine what kind of touch is most pleasurable and arousing to your body.
Find something that relaxes you/your lover such as decadent baths or massages together. Relaxation fosters confidence and comfort and can help with both erectile dysfunction and dryness issues. Also, giving and receiving without any agenda of orgasm is a delicious experience of pure pleasure. The options are truly limitless.
Reclaiming the “Pleasure Dome” is so much more than powerfully owning our sexuality; it’s about reclaiming, reawakening and returning to a profound love of self that breaks us open to new parts of ourselves we had no idea existed.
And as we find in the teachings of the Erotic Blueprints, when we have access to our full-on unabashed erotic pleasure, we’re able to:
Have a deeper and more intimate connection with ourselves and with our partner.
Heal old wounds inherited from our ancestors and reconnect to empathy, passion and authentic love.
Experience a deeper sense of well-being.
Keep our nervous system balanced by lowering our stress and anxiety. Our sexual health colors our overall health and well-being.
Stay “younger” longer.
Plain and simple, pleasure is our birthright.
Being in pleasure, in all the many ways it shows up in our lives, literally lights us up and activates our vital life force energy. And keeping our radiance lit is like having our very own potent and magical anti-aging elixir!
What kind of pleasure will you get yourself into today, beloveds? It’s all around us for the taking, you know. Now go BE in pleasure and shine your radiance on everyone in your path.
And if you’re curious about the teachings of the Erotic Blueprints, click here to discover what the Erotic Blueprint Breakthrough™ Course is all about!
Beth Brown, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
As a Certified and Licensed Erotic Blueprint™ Coach trained directly by world-renowned Somatic Sexologist, Jaiya, Beth is clear on her mission to anchor the frequency of love and to help shift consciousness on the planet around sexuality from shame to full self-expression. Her passion is helping middle-aged women reclaim access to their divine creative life force and erotic power so that they are shining in their full radiant bloom. Beth is also a gifted and internationally known therapeutic harpist and sound healer, incorporating her talents to enhance and deepen her clients’ healing and embodiment experience. She is a graduate of the International Harp Therapy Program in San Diego as a Certified Therapeutic Harp Practitioner (C.H.T.P.) and studied sound healing at the Globe Institute of Sound & Consciousness in San Francisco. She is also an Accelerated Evolution Transformational Guide, having studied under the tutelage of Satyen Raja of the Accelerated Evolution Academy.
