Protecting Women from Financial Abuse in Marriage
- Brainz Magazine
- Aug 13
- 6 min read
For the first half of her career, Debra Whitson was a prosecutor, and she spent the latter half specializing in Matrimonial and Family Law. She is an experienced mediator and collaborative divorce practitioner as well as a recognized expert in working with victims of domestic violence.
At WhitsonLaw, we see firsthand how financial abuse can quietly but powerfully shape the course of a marriage. While domestic abuse is often associated with physical violence, financial abuse is a more hidden, yet equally damaging form of control. It strips a person, most often a woman, of economic independence, limits their freedom to make decisions, and can keep them trapped in an unhealthy or unsafe relationship.
On Women’s Equality Day and every day, we are reminded that economic empowerment is essential for equality. Understanding and addressing financial abuse is not only a matter of personal safety, it’s a matter of justice.
What is financial abuse?
Financial abuse occurs when one spouse controls the other’s access to financial resources, making it difficult or impossible for them to support themselves and forcing them to depend on the abuser. While it often occurs alongside other forms of abuse, it can also exist on its own.
Examples include:
Controlling all bank accounts and not allowing the other spouse access.
Restricting spending to an “allowance” that’s inadequate for basic needs.
Forbidding employment or sabotaging work opportunities.
Incurring debt in the other spouse’s name without their knowledge or consent.
Monitoring and questioning every purchase, creating fear around spending.
This form of control undermines confidence, fosters dependency, and makes leaving the marriage extremely difficult.
Why women are disproportionately affected
While financial abuse can affect anyone, women are disproportionately impacted for several reasons:
Pay and wealth gaps: Women still earn less, on average, than men, and are more likely to take career breaks for caregiving, reducing lifetime earnings.
Traditional gender roles: In some households, men manage the finances, which can morph into complete financial control.
Economic penalties of motherhood: Women who step back from the workforce to care for children may lose skills, connections, and earning power.
Cultural and social pressures: In some communities, women may face stigma for challenging financial control within a marriage.
At our firm, we’ve seen how these factors combine to make financial abuse not only more common for women but also more damaging to their long-term independence.
Recognizing the warning signs
Financial abuse can start subtly. Early recognition is key to prevention. Watch for these red flags:
You’re discouraged or outright forbidden from having your own bank account.
You’re required to hand over your paycheck immediately to your spouse.
Your spouse makes large financial decisions without consulting you.
You have little or no access to family financial information, such as account balances or debts.
You’re prevented from working or pressured to quit your job.
Your spending is constantly questioned, even for basic needs like groceries.
If these patterns feel familiar, it may be time to seek legal advice, even if you are not yet ready to leave the marriage.
Legal protections against financial abuse
When we work with clients experiencing financial abuse, our priority is safety. That can mean more than physical safety, it also includes securing immediate financial stability. Depending on your situation, the law provides several tools:
1. Temporary orders for support
If you separate from your spouse, you can often request temporary spousal support or child support to help cover living expenses while your divorce or separation is pending.
2. Exclusive use of the marital home
In cases where remaining in the marital home is in your best interest, courts may grant you exclusive use of the property, especially if financial abuse is linked with other forms of domestic violence.
If financial abuse is part of a broader pattern of intimidation or domestic violence, an order of protection may restrict the abuser from interfering with your finances or seizing property.
4. Access to financial records
During divorce proceedings, both parties are required to disclose financial information. This ensures that hidden assets or undisclosed accounts can be uncovered.
5. Equitable distribution of assets
In New York and other equitable distribution states, marital property is divided fairly, though not necessarily equally, taking into account contributions as a spouse, including non-monetary contributions like caregiving.
6. Debt protection
Courts can consider whether one spouse incurred debt in bad faith, such as running up credit card balances to sabotage the other’s credit.
Steps to protect yourself before leaving
If you suspect or know you are being financially abused, careful planning can help you regain control without putting yourself at further risk. We often guide clients through the following steps:
Gather financial documents: Make copies of tax returns, bank statements, retirement account summaries, mortgage documents, and credit reports. Store them in a safe place outside the home.
Open your own bank account: If it is safe to do so, open an account in your own name at a different bank. Use it to deposit any personal income or gifts.
Check your credit report: Review it for unfamiliar accounts or debts taken in your name.
Document the abuse: Keep a log of incidents, especially if your spouse makes threats about withholding money or preventing you from leaving.
Seek professional advice early: A family law attorney can help you understand your rights and options before you take any formal steps.
How our firm helps clients facing financial abuse
We approach financial abuse cases with a balance of legal precision and emotional understanding. Our role is not only to fight for fair financial settlements but also to ensure our clients feel supported through what is often an overwhelming process.
Here’s how we help:
Early strategy sessions: We help you identify your immediate needs and prioritize steps to secure your independence.
Asset Investigation: We work with forensic accountants when necessary to uncover hidden accounts or improperly transferred assets.
Advocating for Support: We fight for temporary and long-term spousal and child support to help you rebuild.
Protecting your credit: We negotiate and, when possible, litigate to prevent you from being unfairly saddled with marital debt.
Empowering your next chapter: We connect clients with financial advisors, career counselors, and support networks to strengthen their post-divorce independence.
The bigger picture: Financial independence as a foundation for equality
Financial abuse thrives in secrecy and silence. That’s why raising awareness is so critical. On Women’s Equality Day, we are reminded that economic equality is not optional; it is essential.
Women who have financial autonomy are better equipped to:
Leave unsafe relationships.
Make decisions in their own best interests.
Secure their children’s futures.
Participate fully in society without fear of retaliation.
Our work is part of that larger mission. Every case we take on is an opportunity to restore not just fairness in the courtroom, but dignity and independence in our clients’ lives.
If you or someone you know is facing financial abuse, remember: you are not alone, and you have options. Legal tools exist to protect you and to ensure that you can move forward with financial stability.
At WhitsonLaw, we believe that equality begins at home and that no one should have to choose between safety and financial survival.
On this Women’s Equality Day, and every day, we reaffirm our commitment to helping women protect their rights, reclaim their independence, and step confidently into their future.
For legal assistance, visit our website or give us a call at 518-412-4111 today!
Debra Whitson, Attorney, Mediator, Certified Divorce Specialist™
For the first half of her career, Debra Whitson was a prosecutor, and she spent the latter half specializing in Matrimonial and Family Law. She is an experienced mediator and collaborative divorce practitioner as well as a recognized expert in working with victims of domestic violence. Debra believes that legal battles are more harmful to families than helpful, and is passionate about helping people find ways to make their own decisions for their families, rather than leaving their outcomes in the hands of a stranger in a black robe. When court is unavoidable, Debra aims to educate and support people to make the legal process less costly, scary, uncertain, and stressful.
