Parenting Anxiety
Updated: Mar 15, 2024
Written by: Leesa Watt, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
How do we parent something invisible?
As an anxiety coach, even I struggled to watch my children experience anxiety. I have three, and each dealt with it in different ways. The boy wanted to bury his head in the sand, ended up hiding in a hoodie. The girls wanted to hide from ‘people’ but could talk about it and take action a lot quicker.
So as a parent, you will need patience, self-care, and support. It’s a long road — emotional, tiring, and drawn out. What I remembered each time was the fear those little darlings would be feeling inside. It became evident quickly that I needed to gain their trust, support, and encouragement with a gentle push. You, at times, won’t understand or comprehend their actions and feelings. You will question if they are using anxiety as an excuse. Pretty quickly, you learn the tipping point!
There will be some general signs at first, and they differ between each individual child — withdrawn, crying, angry, touchy, perfectionism, sleep problems, awkward, sore tummy, headaches.
When you’ve picked up something different, try to have a chat, is aware face to face may be too much for kids. My boy was an open book in the car, my daughters sent text messages, or when they were calm, they’d come to me and open up. I never pressured a conversation, just encouraged. I asked how they thought they could help themselves. We’d start with a baby list and tick off and celebrate as we achieved every step, no matter how small. I would say let’s try today.
When things got harder, I would say we need more help - we’d start with school, then a doctor, then a counselor. Each of my children needed different support people but, in the end, worked out their very own ‘tools’ for managing anxiety. It’s important to share with people, like their teachers, what’s happening and how you can all support and communicate with each other. You might need to meet with the school’s guidance counselor.
I found giving my daughter my crystal tumble stone for her pocket and telling her even when I’m not beside her. I’m still thinking of her gave her so much comfort. She even told me in class she will touch the stone and feel happy. They need the reassurance. They thrive on it!
Building on their self-confidence does wonders. I’d be present and the love they needed when they were in the middle of an anxiety attack, later we’d talk about how amazing they were to get through that. In being anxious before an exam, I’d point out everyone has the nerves, and we have to go in and show anxiety that the boss is and prove anxiety can’t control us. Later, when results came back, I’d say remember that day how you were scared and wanted to come home and avoid your exam - well, look what you did, remember that next time you feel like that.
Look at their self-care and teach them how to find things that light them up. It could be exercise, sports, meditation, journaling, just fresh air. Knowing how to breathe properly helps anxiety so much, don’t laugh. I was useless at this for so many years. I’m always reminding the kids to take a deep breath, especially when I pick up they are starting on the anxiety rollercoaster.
I’ve created you a PDF — 5 ways to get your anxious child to school. You can download it here.
Leesa Watt, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Leesa Watt is an award-winning anxiety coach. She experienced debilitating anxiety and panic attacks for many years, which derailed the life she was living and the future she had planned. Instead of accepting a limited fate that was out of her control, Leesa rose to the challenge to make anxiety her Superpower. Thankfully she did as she then set out on the journey to support her own children through varying anxiety diagnoses. Leesa knew she wanted to help others understand that they may experience anxiety, but it does not need to control their lives. Her greatest passion is to help the anxious have the confidence to live their best life.
Leesa is an author of Amazon's 1 bestseller: 'The Conscious You.'
