Paralyzed by Anxiety? The 4-Step Formula to Overcome Anxiety Paralysis in Leadership
- Brainz Magazine
- Sep 2
- 10 min read
Written by Nancy Loncle, Workplace Leadership Coach
Nancy Loncle is a former airline professional turned Workplace Leadership Coach, with a soft spot for Mental and Emotional Wellness. She's the founder of The Workplace Leadership Accelerator, an online learning platform, and the author of leadership books: Lead Outwardly Loud, published in 2024, Your Customer's Voice (2022), and Dare The Tides (2019).
Are there moments when you feel too anxious to lead? Moments when your teams and your organization come to you for solutions, but all you have are more questions tightly bottled in a heart pounding like a drum, with a voice in your head that keeps sending warning whispers: “Don’t mess up, you have a name to protect, whatever you do, just don’t mess up!” And you’re slowly coming to the realization that for every decision you have to make, anxiety takes the bigger portion of your mind, freezing you in place. You’re not alone.
Ambitious souls working in super-competitive work environments often fight this silent battle. In this article, you’ll find a practical 4-step formula to beat anxiety paralysis before it becomes a barrier to your career growth. Being ushered into leadership is an opportunity to prepare yourself for your next best level, and taming anxiety will facilitate the journey.
What is anxiety paralysis?
Anxiety paralysis is not a personality flaw; it’s what happens when fear and overthinking overwhelm your nervous system, cornering you into a ‘freeze’ response. Think of pressing the gas and the brakes at the same time. You have ambition and drive (the gas), but fear and self-doubt slam the brakes. The engine revs loudly in your mind, yet you’re stuck, exhausted, and frustrated. You want to move forward, but your brain and body feel locked up, compromising your ability to act or decide to the point that making decisions or taking action feels impossible.
It’s been noted that anxiety is twice as common among women as men, and even the most accomplished leaders are not immune. A recent survey found that nearly 49% of HR leaders feel anxious at least once a week (and 1 in 5 every day). So, anxiety isn’t just “your problem”; it’s a widespread challenge affecting many ambitious women striving to lead and succeed. Yet it often stays hidden behind a poised exterior, due to the stigma that equates anxiety with weakness.
So how does anxiety infiltrate your leadership journey, what price do you pay if it goes unchecked, and, most importantly, how can you overcome it? Let’s dive in.
What does anxiety paralysis look like?
Anxiety can hit even the brightest careers like an unseen roadblock. Sometimes it’s the physical reactions, the racing heartbeat, the tight chest before a big client presentation, the sleepless night overthinking tomorrow’s conference call, catastrophizing (“If I make the wrong move, I’ll ruin everything”), or going blank just when you need to act or speak. Other times it’s more insidious: that nagging voice of self-doubt, that urge to sidestep situations that spur your fear, overpreparing but never executing, the list goes on. Many women leaders juggle high-pressure jobs with personal responsibilities (including yours truly), and the strain shows. A UK survey found that 9 in 10 women suffered mental health issues from poor work-life balance; 43% reported stress, anxiety, or burnout as a result.
In leadership roles, these pressures amplify. You might fear being exposed as not perfect enough, then feel cornered by overwhelm from competing responsibilities, or constantly worry that any mistake will derail the success you’ve built so far. You may also be a prisoner of past experiences that fuel self-doubt. Keep in mind that “when there is no enemy within (self-doubt, insecurities…), the enemies outside can do you no harm,” as the African proverb goes.
Anxiety thrives in silence. And because female leaders are generally expected to be calm and confident under fire, you might feel the need to hide your true emotions. Author and entrepreneur Morra Aarons-Mele points out that we tend not to talk about anxiety at work because we conflate it with weakness, as if having anxiety makes you a poor leader.
This stigma can lead to secretly carrying the weight of anxiety while outwardly “holding it together.” But underneath, that anxiety is hijacking your focus and joy. For the highly ambitious, it’s easy to internalize anxiety as part of “what it takes” to succeed. You find yourself soldiering through panic silently, not realizing just how gradually it’s chipping away at your authentic leadership potential. If left unchecked, anxiety can become the invisible handbrake on your career journey. Think of the moments when your teams and colleagues see a competent boss in you, but deep down, there’s a war going on. You keep feeling like a fraud, about to be found out.
What anxiety steals from you and your career
Unchecked anxiety doesn’t just make you feel bad; it actively holds you back in your leadership journey. How?
It cripples your decision-making and creativity
Studies show that when an executive is anxious, it becomes hard to think clearly. These are the moments when second-guessing and hesitating take the front seat. You find yourself playing it safe, clinging to what’s familiar instead of pursuing new, bold, innovative strategies. This over-cautiousness is what will eventually stall your growth in the workplace.
It fuels perfectionism and overwork
That unsettling nudge that tricks you into checking that report one more time, or answering emails at 1:00 AM so you can finally feel in control. In reality, this cycle leads straight to burnout. High-anxiety individuals often fixate on tiny details (editing a deck ad nauseam) and feel the need to over-prepare for every task. The more you try to avoid failure, the more you run yourself ragged and still feel like it’s never enough. Productivity drops, and so does your confidence.
It attracts the avoidance trap
Anxiety hates discomfort, so it whispers, “Maybe skip that networking event” or “Delay that tough conversation.” In the short term, avoidance soothes your nerves, but at a huge cost. You’re not just dodging situations that trigger anxiety; you’re dodging growth. Psychologists describe this as a vicious cycle: the more you avoid a feared situation, the more you teach your brain that you couldn’t handle it, and your confidence shrinks further. For example, turning down a promotion because it involves public speaking or not asserting yourself with a challenging client are missed chances that could have propelled your career.
Anxiety left unchecked can silently sabotage both your performance and your well-being. It keeps you playing small. Consider the ripple effects on your team and your reputation. A leader plagued by anxiety may exhibit micromanagement or irritability under stress. It’s hard to be the composed, empowering leader you aspire to be when you’re in fight or flight mode. Research indicates that anxiety-driven behaviors, like a need for control or constant worry, can erode trust and morale in teams.
While serving as cabin crew, I had the opportunity to serve on both long- and short-haul flights, during high and low seasons, with 45-minute flights that could range from 2 to 200 passengers. I quickly understood how one’s anxiety levels could be tied to time and the number of passengers on board. Those were the moments where “calm under pressure” was not just a word but a verb to be activated on demand. So if you’ve ever felt stuck or like you’re “holding yourself back,” anxiety might be the invisible culprit.
The good news is that the same high-achiever traits that anxiety twists against you, your dedication, your foresight, your passion for excellence, all these can be rechanneled to overcome it. And I have the formula to do just that, so you can stop anxiety from paralysing your path and focus more on leading authentically.
The 4-step formula to overcome anxiety: Be B.O.L.D.
This is where you take back control. After working with professional women through this journey, I can attest to this simple yet powerful 4-step formula to confront and conquer anxiety. The end game is to address and overcome your fears from the inside out.
Here’s how it works:
1. B - breathe
Sounds simple, but deep breathing is a proven anxiety buster. The moment you feel anxiety rising, chest tightening, mind racing, pause and breathe. Slow, intentional breaths signal your nervous system to switch from “fight-or-flight” to “rest-and-relax.” In fact, research shows that slowing down your breathing activates the calming parasympathetic response, counteracting the adrenaline of anxiety. Try this: inhale deeply for a count of 4, hold for 4, exhale for 6. As you breathe, remind yourself that this physical storm will pass. By grounding yourself with oxygen and patience, you prevent panic from hijacking your brain.
2. O - observe
Next, observe what’s happening objectively, both around you and inside your mind. Anxiety often comes with a flood of thoughts (“I’m going to fail” or “They’re judging me”) and intense feelings. Instead of getting swept away, step into the role of an observer. Acknowledge: “Okay, I’m feeling anxious. My heart is racing. I think I’ll mess up this presentation.” By naming what you feel and think, you create a slight distance from it. This mindfulness technique stops the anxiety from defining you. Remember, anxiety is data; it’s telling you that something important is at stake. Observing it without judgment can give you insight. Maybe that knot in your stomach is saying that you care deeply about doing well, or that a particular issue truly matters to you. When you observe your anxiety, you transform it from a nebulous cloud into something specific and tangible. This step is about getting curious, not furious: instead of berating yourself for being anxious, you simply notice it.
3. L - let go (of the lies)
Having observed your thoughts, it’s time to challenge and release them. Anxiety is a master storyteller, and often a liar. It spins worst-case scenarios and tells you, “If I’m not perfect, I’ll fail” or “Everyone else has it together except me.” So ask yourself: “Is this thought 100% true? Where’s the evidence?” This simple question is powerful. Psychologists note that thought traps like catastrophizing (blowing things out of proportion) are common in anxiety, and the antidote is to look at facts. Did one awkward comment in a meeting truly “ruin everything,” or did the rest of the meeting actually go fine? Does getting critical feedback mean you’re bad at your job, or can it be a normal part of growth? For high achievers, this step is crucial; many over-anxious leaders secretly believe their worry and micromanagement are what drive their success, when in fact it drives burnout.
So, practice reframing: replace doom-and-gloom thoughts with balanced ones. “I prepared thoroughly for this presentation, and I have teammates to support me if a question stumps me,” or “One setback doesn’t erase my track record of successes.” Also, let go of the myth of perfection. No one is 100% flawless or confident at all times, and you don’t have to be to be effective. Here, you’ll find your anxiety starting to loosen its grip. As Morra Aarons-Mele advises leaders, sometimes you have to say, “Maybe I don’t have to be perfect, so other people can be great,” which in turn makes you a more empathetic and effective leader. In practical terms, this might mean delegating a task you’d normally obsess over or allowing yourself to be “good enough” on a report instead of triple-checking until 3 AM.
4. D - do (the thing that scares you)
Now it’s time to act. Do the thing that scares you, even if your voice trembles or your heart pounds. This is where you break anxiety’s paralysis by taking action despite the fear. Why is this so important? Because action is kryptonite to anxiety. The longer you marinate in fear or avoidance, the more power your anxiety gains. But each time you push through the fear, you teach your brain that anxiety is not the boss of you. In psychology, there’s a concept called exposure: confronting your fear in gradual steps so it diminishes over time. Studies have found that gradually facing feared situations leads to increased confidence and less anxiety going forward. In other words, courage is like a muscle; you build it by using it. So speak up with your idea in the meeting, even if your voice isn’t as steady as you’d like. Volunteer for that high-profile project, even if it scares you silly. Hit “send” on that email you’ve been agonizing over. You don’t have to feel fearless to act; you just need to do it. As the saying goes, a chameleon changes color to match the earth, not the other way around; your courage evolves with every challenge you face head-on. Every time you do this, you reinforce the belief, “Hey, I survived and even succeeded, maybe I can handle this!” Over time, those actions that used to terrify you will start to feel empowering. Your journey will help you expand your comfort zone. Keep in mind, “doing it” doesn’t mean doing it alone; seek allies and mentors, let your team support you. The key is that you move from analysis paralysis into action. Anxiety can’t be overcome just by thinking about it; you overcome it by living through it and realizing your fears were largely false alarms.
By going B.O.L.D, you’ll still experience nerves (you’re human, after all!), but they will no longer paralyze you. Instead of a roadblock, anxiety becomes a manageable hurdle.
Rise above anxiety – Start your journey
The journey to overcome anxiety is really a journey to knowing and growing yourself. As you apply the BOLD steps, you’ll begin responding to challenges instead of reacting to them. What once felt like a threat will now feel like a thrilling opportunity for growth.
Remember that statistic, almost half of leaders feel anxious regularly. As one expert put it, “Everything leadership gurus say about bringing your whole self to work is a lie if we don’t factor in how anxiety is showing up for us.” In other words, acknowledging anxiety is part of being an authentic leader.
Anxiety isn’t all negative. Aarons-Mele even calls it “good data,” noting that it can push us to higher performance and emotional intelligence once we learn to regulate it. When managed, it can heighten your awareness, telling you what really matters to you. It keeps you from becoming complacent. The goal isn’t to become a robot devoid of anxiety; it’s to make sure you run your anxiety, not the other way around.
If anxiety has been pressing pause on your leadership aspirations, book a call here so we can have a deeper conversation and chart out a seamless way to overcome it, specifically for you.
Leading by example is what great leaders do. So take a deep breath, summon your courage, and go north.
You’ve got this.
Read more from Nancy Loncle
Nancy Loncle, Workplace Leadership Coach
Nancy Loncle is a workplace leadership coach, dedicated to helping women working in high-pressure, ultra-competitive jobs transition and settle into leadership roles with ease. After being thrust into a senior position early in her career, Nancy faced the overwhelming challenges of leadership without the mental and emotional tools to thrive, a struggle that nearly cost her everything. This experience ignited in her a passion to create a practical formula for women to lead without losing themselves, so that they can experience career fulfillment, recognition, and balance in their personal and professional lives.
