Overcoming Fear ‒ How Forgetting Reality Can Make Life Seem Scarier Than It Is
Written by: Rob Cook, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Imagine your best friend invited you to a new suspense movie at the local cinema. You agree, and you both enjoy the next few moments of scheduling logistics. You discuss modes of transportation, which theater you'll choose, and what time your desired showing would begin. All is set, and it's movie day! Your friend arrives to pick you up, and along the ride, you have the most beautiful conversation about your week en route to the theater.
As you arrive for the blockbuster thriller, the excitement mounts. You gesture to your friend about how much fun this will be and how you haven't been this scared to see a movie since Nightmare on Elm Street, the 1984 horror classic. The lines were long, but the time seemingly flew by, and before long, after selecting seats R1 and R2 and paying the overpriced concession stand for popcorn, soda, and your favorite candy, you entered studio 2.
You find your seats just as the previews of all upcoming movies start. After several minutes the following message is displayed: "Please silence all cell phones as our feature presentation is about to begin." The theater darkens, the screen widens, and you grab for friend's hand for one last gush of excitement before the movie plays. As time passes and the film climaxes, you hear screams, people run out of the theater, and you throw your popcorn and spill your favorite soda on your shirt.
After settling from it all, you both laugh. How did this happen? I mean, the fear you felt was real. It wasn't movie fear. Your stomach sank, and your heartbeat started racing until you could calm down and let go of the death grip you had on your friend's hand. Most of us miss what happened because it's so subtle and innocent. It's what causes our reality to change altogether. So what happened?
Simple answer, you forgot. Yes, you forgot. And because of that, your thoughts frightened you, even though what you saw wasn't real.
You forgot that no actors were harmed making the film. You forgot you drove together to the theater. You even forgot the rule of gravity that jumping up so fast would make your popcorn fly and your soda a new fashion statement. Think about it for a second, could the movie be just as scary if you remembered it was only a movie? Would it be as frightening if you remembered that you voluntarily chose this thriller for the excitement?
While I know that movies and life are different at some point, our minds do not see a distinction. So whether we're watching a film or in a real-life relationship or financial crisis, forgetting what is true makes obstacles or issues scare us, similar to the movie example. Our minds are so powerful that we can construct a reality that appears scary, even if it's not real.
I'll admit that forgetting is just part of the human experience. It happens. Albeit frustrating, I've learned these three things that make it less of a problem when it happens.
One, remember that the same universal energy source that creates all life, which I call God, is deep within us and governs our innate survival ability.
Two, it powers our resilience. And that's the same for every human being.
Lastly, remembering doesn't mean I'll always like my experiences or circumstances; it just means I don't have to scare myself while going through the event.
So next time you're in the theater of facing a crisis, take a second to breathe and ensure you're using your mind to find solutions versus utilizing the feature of the mind that can create a reality that makes life look extra scary.
Rob Cook, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Rob is a highly respected coach and consultant who inspires self-care, healing and building meaningful lives. He is the founder of Life After Trauma which focuses on finding the balance between mental, physical, and spiritual health to alleviate the adverse effects of trauma-related events. Rob is a retired combat veteran turned transformative coach using the Three Principles, also known as the inside-out understanding, as his guide to help clients overcome traumatic experiences. Rob is an engaging and passionate speaker and consultant who works with start-ups, non-profits, and Fortune 500 companies.
