Written by: Klaudia Moon, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Imagine that you are just about to receive the best opportunity of your life. This promotion you have always dreamed about or a great job opportunity in a new Company that you have been applying to for a while now.
Or maybe, every year, you talk about joining Gym to get healthier and lose weight.
You couldn’t be more excited at that moment, and then here it comes again ‘What if I’m not good enough?’, ‘What if I’m not qualified enough?’, ‘I always end up with terrible bosses, this won’t be any different. ‘Why bother, I just stay where I am- it’s safe’.
And just like that, you are back to the same old patterns, watching the same old Netflix on the same old sofa. Sounds familiar?
Everyone craves changes and better life, so why is it so difficult for us to take the next step?
Carry on reading, and you will find all Dirty Secrets of your Patterns.
Conscious & Subconscious Mind
Our mind operates on conscious and subconscious levels. Everything you learn, read, or research is stored in your conscious mind. Thanks to this information, you are able to make conscious decisions, recognize what is bad or wrong, and have an engaging conversation with others. In other words, anything that you are in control of operates on your conscious level.
The subconscious mind is an area where your belief system is stored. When you were very young, too young to make your own decisions- anything that you have observed or experienced has influenced and formed your belief system.
The main source of our beliefs is our parents, teachers, and caretakers. We have been observing their behaviors, how they communicate with others, how they are forming relationships, and what words they are using towards us or others. We have accepted their way of being as the only way, and sometimes it is even scary how sometimes we resemble our parents when we get older.
Sometimes if you have experienced some embarrassing or stressful situation in your childhood, it could leave you with confidence or trust issues. This lack of confidence most likely will hunt you dressed up as “I’m not smart enough” or “I’m not good enough” in your adulthood.
Even if memory or experience doesn’t mean much to you, know it has formed certain beliefs in your subconscious mind that prevent you from moving forward. And this is where our patterns are stored, deep inside our subconscious mind.
Running On Autopilot
Everything we do for a long period of time (brushing teeth, driving to work, walking, breathing) becomes so easy for us that we don’t even need to think about it while doing it. We are set on autopilot mode. When we try to push ourselves from autopilot, we face resistance from our body and mind, which is called a homeostatic impulse.
The subconscious mind loves existing in its comfort zone. The safest place is the one you have been to before because you can predict the familiar outcome. Habits and behaviors that we repeatedly return to become the subconscious default mode. This is why habits and routines feel so comforting and why it is so unsettling and even exhausting when the routine is disrupted.
Every time we try to do something new, something different, our brain is shouting: What Are You Doing? This Is New! This Is Scary? Why Can’t We Do What We Know?
No wonder why changing patterns is so difficult —everything within us is against it!
Build Up Your Awareness — It’sTme To Be Conscious
In order for us to get back control over our patterns, we need to uncover the very root of our problem. Building awareness is the first step to success. Think about the specific pattern of negative self-talk that you would like to change.
When was the first time you felt or act this way?
Why have you chosen this comfort behavior?
What past memory comes up to my mind?
What words have been said?
The more details you get, the better understanding you have.
The next step is to practice being conscious. Every day spends at least 2 minutes practicing consciousness.
Try to stop and be very present in what you are doing. Recognize the smell, taste, texture, teach your brain that it’s ok to switch off autopilot. Yoga and meditation are really good for practicing consciousness.
The first days are the most difficult ones because you are starting to change a default system, but as you get more confident and used to it will get easier.
Start Small
The final step is to start changing habits and behaviors into more positive and empowering. Start with a small daily routine that you need to stick to, a promise to yourself that you can keep the practice. This can be as simple as drinking a glass of water every morning or reading 10 pages a day.
Don’t try to change everything in one go, and you will feel overwhelmed and demotivated very quickly. With time, you can always add more to already new existing routines.
Klaudia Moon, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Klaudia has started her career as an HR Professional in the hospitality industry. After many years of chasing the dream to make a difference, she realized that something was missing. What used to have meaning now has been replaced by burnout, anxiety, and lack of purpose.
Through her own self-discovery journey, Klaudia has learned that a lot of emotions and patterns that she was holding on to were nowhere related to her own experience. Most of our beliefs, patterns and behaviors are passed on by generations via childhood traumas, events, or cultural programming.
Now, her mission is to create a community of women who are ready to create their own future by living their dream life and finally break free from the generation cycle. By giving them support and space, Klaudia is guiding her clients' step by step through self-awareness and teaches them how to embrace their own roots.
