Not Every Thought Deserves Your Attention
Dr. Akira D. Olsen is a licensed clinical psychologist, founder and CEO of Journey Health, and recipient of Influencer Magazine UK’s 2026 Humanitarian of the Year Award. She specializes in anxiety, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), trauma, and mental wellbeing, combining therapy grounded in evidence with Eastern mindfulness to support clients worldwide.
It’s 11:47 pm. You’re in bed, phone in hand, rereading a Slack message from your manager for the fourth time. “Can we chat tomorrow?” No context. No emoji. Just that. Now your brain is writing the whole script. You’re getting let go. You messed up the deck. They’ve been unhappy with you for months, and you missed every sign.
Meanwhile, a former classmate is touring her new house on Instagram, and your group chat is still waiting on your brunch reply. Nothing has actually happened. But your attention is gone, and so is your sleep.
If that sounds familiar, here’s something I want you to hold onto: A thought showing up in your head is not an invitation you have to accept.
After more than 25 years as a clinical psychologist, I believe one of life’s most useful skills right now is what I call attention fitness: noticing where your attention goes, catching when it stops helping you, and choosing where to put it instead.
This isn’t toxic positivity. It isn’t “just don’t think about it.” It’s building a better relationship with your own mind the way you’d build strength at the gym: with reps, not perfection.
The 2 feeds you’re always scrolling
You already know the outside feed: notifications, news alerts, email, the endless scroll, everyone’s opinions. But there’s a second feed most of us never log out of: the one inside our heads. Criticizing yourself. Rehearsing a conversation that hasn’t happened. Replaying one that did. “What if” on loop. Attention fitness works on both.
The outside feed: What’s competing for your focus
Being fully in a conversation instead of checking your phone intermittently
Staying with a task while notifications keep pinging
Catching the moment a scroll turns into comparison
Deciding which information actually earns your time
This isn’t a digital detox lecture. Social media can be where you learn, create, find community, and keep friendships alive across time zones. The question isn’t whether you use it. It’s whether you’re choosing or just reacting to whatever loads next.
The inside feed: Your thoughts, feelings, and running commentary
You can put your phone in another room and still be completely somewhere else. You’re at dinner with someone you love, mentally revisiting yesterday’s disagreement. You’re on a run, but you’re actually in Monday’s meeting. You’re finally resting, but a voice keeps telling you you should be doing something productive.
Fitness for the inside feed means noticing these moments without automatically getting pulled in. Sometimes it means turning toward a feeling with curiosity and compassion. Sometimes it means recognizing that another lap around the same worry won’t get you anywhere.
Mental fitness isn’t about ignoring your inner world. It’s about learning to move through it more flexibly.
Noticing a thought versus following it
You finally sit down to work on the thing: the side project, the application, the deadline. Then your brain serves up yesterday’s awkward moment. “What did she mean by that?” “Was I too much?” “Maybe they don’t actually like me.”
Ten minutes later, you haven’t written a word. You’ve been in a conversation that isn’t happening. The original thought lasted maybe two seconds. What kept it going was the attention you kept feeding it.
Psychology has names for the skill of stepping back. Metacognitive awareness means noticing your mental activity instead of being swallowed by it. Cognitive defusion, a core process in acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), means relating to thoughts as thoughts, not as facts, orders, or predictions.
In real life, it sounds like this: “I’m going to fail” becomes “I’m noticing I’m having the thought that I might fail.” Same thought. Different relationship. That small bit of distance is where your choice lives. You can acknowledge a thought without letting it decide what you do next.
This isn’t about dismissing real problems. Some thoughts carry useful information and deserve reflection, planning, or action. The skill is telling the difference between thinking that moves you forward and loops that keep you stuck.
What a sword taught me about my mind
I grew up in Japan practicing kendo, the Japanese martial art often called “the way of the sword.” People assume it’s all technique. It isn’t. Kendo is also about timing, awareness, and staying steady under pressure, with someone standing right in front of you, waiting for your mistake.
In those moments, the biggest threat often wasn’t my opponent. It was my own head. Fear of messing up. Overanalyzing every move they made. Getting stuck in what I expected to happen instead of what was actually happening. What kendo kept teaching me was simple: come back to now.
Japanese martial traditions have a concept called mushin (無心), often translated as “no mind”: acting without excessive mental interference. It doesn’t mean an empty head. It means not getting trapped by every thought that shows up.
I see a meaningful parallel between mushin and modern psychological approaches that emphasize awareness of the present moment and a flexible relationship with thoughts. They aren’t the same thing, but they point in the same direction: The goal isn’t to stop thinking. It’s to stop letting every thought interrupt your life.
Kendo also taught me that losing focus isn’t failure. Everyone drifts. The real skill is noticing and coming back, again and again.
What the research actually says
I want to be straight with you here, because the wellness internet loves to overpromise. Notifications cost more than you think. A 2015 experiment by Stothart and colleagues found that simply receiving a phone notification disrupted performance on a task demanding attention, even when people didn’t pick up the phone. The buzz alone was enough.
We often don’t notice when our minds wander. Work by Schooler and colleagues highlights meta-awareness: realizing what your mind is doing. That moment of catching yourself is exactly what gives you the chance to redirect.
Attention may be trainable, modestly. A 2024 meta-analysis by Zainal and Newman pooled 111 randomized controlled trials with 9,538 participants. It found small to moderate improvements in several cognitive outcomes after interventions based on mindfulness, including some measures of attention and cognitive control. However, a 2021 meta-analysis by Yakobi and colleagues found relatively small benefits for attention and executive control in healthy adults.
The honest takeaway: these skills seem to respond to practice, but no one should promise you a brand new brain in two weeks. One more transparency note: attention fitness is an educational framework I developed from existing research. It is not a separately validated clinical treatment.
The attention reset in 60 seconds
You don’t need an hour of meditation or a silent retreat. You need one minute and a little honesty. Try this the next time you catch yourself spiraling, doomscrolling, or rereading that message.
Notice: Where is my attention right now? (20 seconds) Pause. Is it on what you’re doing? Stuck in a memory? Living in a future that hasn’t happened? Reacting to something you just saw online? Just notice. No judgment for drifting. Drifting is what minds do.
Name: What am I experiencing? (20 seconds) Label it. “I’m replaying that conversation.” “I’m comparing myself to someone online.” “I’m worrying about tomorrow.” “I’m feeling anxious.” “That’s my inner critic again.” Naming it helps you see it as something happening in your mind, not something that has to run your next move.
Redirect: What deserves my attention now? (20 seconds) Maybe it’s the task in front of you. The person you’re with. Three slow breaths. A short walk. Or one concrete step on a real problem. Let the original thought stay in the background. You’re just not handing it the mic. When your mind wanders again, and it will, notice and come back. The goal isn’t perfect focus. It’s getting faster at returning.
This exercise is an educational tool, not a clinically validated standalone intervention or a substitute for mental health care.
3 small habits that add up
Before you open an app, ask: “Why am I here?” To message a friend? Look something up? Take a planned break? Or are you reaching for your phone because you’re bored, anxious, or avoiding something? Nothing is wrong with a scroll break. The point is choosing it on purpose.
Leave one thought on read. When your brain asks, “What if they don’t like me?” check whether the thought calls for action or is just inviting another round of guessing. Sometimes you can let uncertainty sit without solving it. Try: “Maybe I don’t need to figure this out right now.” Then go back to something that matters.
Give one ordinary moment your full attention. For one minute, eat without scrolling. Listen without drafting your reply. Walk without a podcast and actually notice your street. This isn’t about doing it perfectly. It’s about getting your reps in.
You don’t have to control every thought
Here’s what concerns me about a lot of personal improvement culture: the pressure to optimize everything. The perfect morning routine. The perfect mindset. Zero negativity. Always becoming your “best self.”
That’s exhausting, and it isn’t how wellbeing works. Fighting uncomfortable thoughts and feelings can actually make them louder. A more flexible approach: notice what’s happening, respond with compassion, and choose what gets your attention and your action.
Sometimes that means sitting with sadness. Sometimes it means listening to anxiety because it’s pointing at something real. Sometimes it means reaching out for support. Sometimes it means recognizing that one more round of overthinking won’t move you forward.
Attention fitness isn’t about caring less or feeling less. It’s about choosing more.
Where your attention goes, your life tends to follow. Hours spent replaying one painful conversation are hours you don’t spend with the people and things you love. Time lost to comparison is time away from your own values and progress.
In my book, The Journey to Self, I write about building a kind, supportive relationship with yourself. Attention fitness is one way to practice it, because caring for yourself isn’t only about what you think and feel. It’s also about how you respond to your own mind.
So the next time a thought shows up uninvited, ask: “Does this need my attention right now?” If yes, meet it with curiosity and care. If not, you’re allowed to leave it on read. Your mind will keep sending messages. You don’t have to answer every one.
Your turn: What’s the thought you keep replying to, the one that shows up at 11 p.m. or right before something important? Try the attention reset in 60 seconds with it today. Then tell me what you noticed in the Journey Health Mental Fitness Community, where I share practical mental fitness exercises you can actually use.
Read more from Akira D. Olsen
Akira D. Olsen, Bilingual & Bicultural Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Akira D. Olsen is a licensed clinical psychologist, a 2026 Humanitarian of the Year recipient from Influencer Magazine UK, and a 2024 Marquis Who’s Who honoree, recognized for her leadership in youth, family, and mental health care informed by trauma. As founder and chief executive officer of Journey Health and WARM Education, she integrates therapies grounded in evidence with Eastern mindfulness and holistic practices to create a deeply human, culturally grounded approach to healing. With over two decades of experience across community mental health, medical settings, schools, and private practice, she supports diverse clients ranging from adolescents and families to professionals, creatives, and global leaders. Her mission is to make psychological support accessible, compassionate, and transformative for people seeking meaningful growth and lasting wellbeing.
References:
Stothart, C., Mitchum, A., & Yehnert, C. (2015). The attentional cost of receiving a cell phone notification. Journal of Experimental Psychology: Human Perception and Performance, 41(4), 893 to 897.
Schooler, J. W., Smallwood, J., Christoff, K., Handy, T. C., Reichle, E. D., & Sayette, M. A. (2011). Meta-awareness, perceptual decoupling, and the wandering mind. Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 15(7), 319 to 326.
Zainal, N. H., & Newman, M. G. (2024). Mindfulness enhances cognitive functioning: A meta-analysis of 111 randomized controlled trials. Health Psychology Review, 18(2), 369 to 395.
Yakobi, O., Smilek, D., & Danckert, J. (2021). The effects of mindfulness meditation on attention, executive control and working memory in healthy adults: A meta-analysis of randomized controlled trials. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 45, 543 to 560.
