Nobody Gets Promoted on Skills Alone Because Your Human Side is Always in Focus
- 1 day ago
- 6 min read
Updated: 4 hours ago
Written by Ekaterina Leonova, Change Coach
Ekaterina Leonova is a Change Coach with a background in psychology, life sciences, and engineering. She blends psychological depth with systems thinking and an evidence-based approach to help accomplished professionals move past feeling stuck or overwhelmed and create the change they need.
If only our careers were predictable and followed a clear path based on skills, ratings, and so on. If our only reference points were skills and knowledge, all careers would look pretty predictable and linear, moving from junior to expert levels in a chosen profession, learning more skills and acquiring more knowledge as we go. Top companies would hire those with the highest grades in their field, just like top universities do in many countries. It's not easy to get that top grade, of course, but our career expectations would be clear, and the world would function in a predictable, although somewhat robotic, way.
But the world does not work like that. Quite often, who we are as human beings contributes a lot. This includes personality traits, core values, culture, and lived experiences. All of that informs how we interact with the world.
The numbers back this up. LinkedIn data from 2020 to 2023 shows that people who listed both hard and soft skills on their profiles got promoted 8% faster than those who listed only hard skills. A more recent Harvard Business Review analysis, looking at over 70 million job transitions, found that things like teamwork, problem-solving, and communication were linked to promotions 11% faster. Leadership skills alone got people there 10% faster. People with broad human skills didn't just move up faster, they earned more and stayed resilient throughout their careers.
So this isn't a hunch or a nice story I tell myself. Academic mastery on its own was never the whole story.
For a long time, what we now call soft skills have sometimes determined what job we get, whether we are chosen for a particular role, or whether we become a people manager or leader. You might relate. You are most certainly the smartest person in the room, and you have outstanding academic achievements.
Yet, your colleague gets more recognition because they are more outgoing, chatty, and noticeable. They are not better at analyzing or at careful, thoughtful execution, but they are much better at being visible than you are.
I have a lot of personal experience related to this. I was choosing to be quiet. There is a whole layer of family beliefs, culture, and personal traits in the background, of course. But the point is, I didn't take space to talk about my achievements. I was not the most outgoing person either. I would not do small talk over coffee. A waste of time, I thought. I didn't even like small talk. I still don't, to be honest.
I connected only with the people who were most relevant. So I got feedback once: "Why don't you talk to people more?" Yes, I saw that outgoing colleagues were getting exciting projects, even though I was good in my niche. I didn't understand why that was important at the time. Now my approach has changed a lot. Even this article, sharing my knowledge and experiences publicly, is one step towards the visibility that I know I need to build trust as a coach.
There's actually a name for this, and it's been studied. The Center for Talent Innovation looked at close to 4,000 professionals, including 268 senior executives, and found that what they call "executive presence" accounts for 26% of what gets someone promoted. Break that down further, and two-thirds of it comes from gravitas alone: how confident you seem, how decisive you are, and whether you can read a room.
Two-thirds of the executives in that study said gravitas was the single biggest factor in who they chose to promote, essentially, how you come across. It doesn't stop at promotion decisions. It shapes how your everyday work gets judged too. There's a well-documented "likability bias" in performance reviews: being liked pushes your evaluation up regardless of what you actually delivered, and being disliked pulls it down the same way, independent of your output.
From my coaching experience, I see that blocks, issues, and difficulties at work and in a career path don't happen because people lack skills. There's a personal story behind them that makes certain things more difficult. Saying no, setting clear boundaries, making your achievements known and very visible, and how outgoing and social you are will all impact what kind of manager or leader you are, whether or not you are next up for promotion, and whether you get recognition for your contributions.
There's a common myth that saying "no" damages your reputation. In my experience, it's usually the opposite. Clear boundaries tell people you know your worth, and they free you up to focus on the work that actually matters instead of drowning in everything that lands on your plate. What looks like a "soft skill" gap here is really a belief underneath it, such as fear of disappointing someone or fear of being seen as difficult. It's not a competence gap at all.
I have quite a few clients who are overworked, overwhelmed, and still not really recognized because saying no to their manager isn't even an option in their world.
One particular example comes to mind. One of my clients started a new job in a new area, and the volume of work, Key Performance Indicators (KPIs), and evaluation in this company's culture and way of working depended heavily on being visible, being able to talk about yourself, and saying what you are good at. This client is quite introverted, and it didn't come naturally to them. So our main focus was just that: self-trust, self-esteem, and confidence.
We reached a point where the client was more engaged and got more consultancy gigs. The managers noticed them. It all led to higher life satisfaction and increased confidence in other areas, such as finding a supportive, warm partner.
I recognize that today, things change so fast, especially in technology, that one needs to upskill constantly. But that is just the tip of the iceberg. The chances that you are being overlooked, not appreciated, or not respected mostly have to do with a very human side of you, with your traits, beliefs, traumas, and behavioral patterns.
One of my clients was in the process of changing jobs. Although he was invited to interviews and was passing the intro rounds, his main focus was upskilling and learning new technologies. When we discussed what went wrong in the skills interviews with stakeholders, there was always one thing: he gave short answers and couldn't present his technical expertise clearly. Sometimes, his values wouldn't match the company's, and then he would just say something vague instead of being assertive about his values and views. He tried to stay safe this way, but it led nowhere.
The reasons for this often lie in imposter syndrome, a pattern I see constantly among the most skilled people I work with. It's more common than most people think. Up to 70% of professionals experience it at some point, and it doesn't spare the top of the ladder either. In fact, 71% of United States (US) Chief Executive Officers (CEOs) report it, and 75% of executive women say the same. It's not just an uncomfortable feeling either. It quietly holds people back from opportunities or pushes them into overcompensating until they burn out.
Whatever patterns we have, they don't have to stay that way. You can choose to change your behaviors, address fears, and build your self-esteem. The same goes for the beliefs underneath them: that talking about your work is bragging, that saying no makes you difficult, or that you need every answer before you're allowed to open your mouth. Those beliefs were learned somewhere and can be changed.
All the effort to change behaviors and beliefs is often called personal growth or development. That's a completely different task from "get better at your job." Somehow, it is not considered necessary. However, I keep seeing things that prove the exact opposite. It will be the most important thing you will do for yourself.
The clients I work with usually start in the same place, convinced they need one more certification, one more skill, or one more year of experience before they're finally "ready." They arrive at a very different place, able to name their own work in a room without shrinking, able to say no without spiraling into guilt, and trusting that what they already know is enough. Their Curriculum Vitae (CV) doesn't change much, but they do.
Read more from Ekaterina Leonova
Ekaterina Leonova, Change Coach
Ekaterina Leonova is a Change Coach and founder of Leonova Consulting. Her background spans psychology, life sciences, and entrepreneurship, giving her a rare ability to work with both the emotional and the analytical sides of change. She works with accomplished professionals, managers, executives, founders, and high performers who look successful on the outside but feel stuck, overwhelmed, or disconnected underneath. Rather than offering generic advice, she helps clients identify exactly what's keeping them stuck and helps build a system to implement the change that would actually move them forward.
