Navigating From the Shattered Earth Complexity of Grief, Grieving and Low-Frequency, Estranged Bonds
Written by India E., Premium Self-Care Strategist
India E. is an inspiring professional recognized for her work as an author, actor, model, real estate agent, and founder of the premium Self-Care brand YOU Are Exquisite. YAE®. Dedicated to empowering individuals through self-care, creativity, and personal growth, she brings a dynamic perspective to all she creates.
When life-changing loss occurs, the ground beneath you splits open in a multidimensional capacity. The cold chills, immediate earth-shattering reality is stark and absolute: nothing will ever be the same from this moment forward. The world keeps spinning on its axis, yet yours has completely ground to a halt.
You will always remember where you were when you learned of the loss.
For many high-achieving, deeply reflective individuals, the loss shockwave is profoundly compounded when the person who passed away represented a lifelong complex, low-frequency energy dynamic that you worked hard to evolve and emerge from. When you mourn someone with whom your relationship was emotionally detached, strained, distant, or shadowed by unresolved friction, such as an estranged parent, the grief does not follow a clean, linear script. It hits as a tangled ball of tightly wound contradictions, heavy with unsaid words and freighted with the weight of what should have been.
The ray of sunshine blessing for me personally is that my Mother and I did speak publicly about the difficult complexities within our relationship on my old podcast years ago. It was a bit tense and awkward, but the soul-cleansing of releasing and sharing pain with purpose propels me forward and has me smiling eternally. But I know this situation is not necessarily typical.
Beneath the friction, the love root can remain. Give yourself permission to lovingly assess, acknowledge, admit, accept, and take accountability for it all, and whatever the emotional outcome is, be patient with yourself and continue to connect more toward your future than the past.
Untangling the complexities of estrangement and loss through release
Of course, in this media-saturated world, society often expects grief to look neat, coiffed, a controlled, on-cue tidy procession of tears, sorrow, and eventual acceptance, anchored by unconditional praise for the departed. Life is not a movie of the week. Let's get very real here. When the relationship itself was a heavy, nervous system uproaring, draining emotional estrangement, mourning opens an internal fault line that is uncharted territory. Learning to release, release, release and focus on your future is key and core.
Now, for me as a spiritual person, my alignment with Spirit is well established. All my life, I've felt and lived as though God is my best friend forever and always. I talk to Spirit, write to Spirit, pray to Spirit, and dance with Spirit. I wear Spirit out!
As you connect with your sacred internal self, you may experience waves of profound sadness alongside sudden flashes of relief, anger, or numbness, and even laughter. This is not a failure of character; it is the natural byproduct of reconciling two opposing truths. You are grieving the finality of death, but you are also grieving the permanent closure of any future possibility for reconciliation or healing with that person. Make peace internally and proceed forward with your future.
This may be controversial, but allow yourself to feel relief, freedom, and lean on that finality. Now you are free to be you, honor you, and love you eternally.
Then there's the love energy. The love root does not magically vanish simply because the dynamic was difficult. That underlying tether, the complex biological and emotional tie to a parent, means their passing still reverberates deeply through your core. That's how it is supposed to be. Acknowledging that the bond was low-frequency does not invalidate your right to mourn; rather, it honors the full, unfiltered truth of your lived experience and all of its complexities.
Honoring the radical act of self-compassion, unapologetically
People grieve in their own distinct way, and there is no correct formula for navigating complicated loss. The most vital reclamation you can offer yourself in this season is absolute permission to live, love, and gently honor you. Yes, I'm repeating.
Permission to feel: Honor whatever emotion surfaces without judgment. Let sadness, anger, relief, or emptiness exist side by side.
Permission to evolve: Allow your relationship to the memory to shift over time. Growth is not linear, and neither is healing.
Permission to protect your energy: Set firm boundaries around who you allow into your space as you process this life-changing transition.
Giving yourself permission to feel how you feel and evolve how you evolve is the highest form of self-love and self-compassion. In the quiet aftermath of a complex loss, protecting your peace is not just a strategy, it is a sacred, self-loving necessity.
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India E., Premium Self-Care Strategist
India E. is a dynamic and inspiring author, actor, model, real estate agent, and founder of the premium self-care strategy brand YOU Are Exquisite. YAE®. Driven by her deep commitment to personal development and holistic wellness, she empowers others to master their mind, mindset, and mind frame to elevate their everyday lives. As a dynamic writer, creator, speaker, and Executive Contributor for BRAINZ Magazine, she shares actionable self-care strategies designed to bring clarity, transformation, and authentic joy in living. Her mission is to help individuals prioritize themselves unapologetically and rise fully into their most empowered Exquisite selves.
