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Mastering Self Love – The Art, Skill & Science Of Self-Transformation

Written by: Virin Gomber, Executive Contributor

Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.


Self-love simply means taking care of yourself, honoring your vision and purpose, and living in alignment with your values. To live a happy and fulfilling life, you must first learn how to love yourself unconditionally and without judgment in comparison with others.

A lady hugging herself.

When we lack self-acceptance, we judge ourselves harshly for our mistakes instead of seeing them as opportunities to learn. At the same time, ‘Self-love’ is a loaded term. It can mean many things to different people, but one thing is certain: selfishness is not the same. The truth is, most of us are taught to put others first and ourselves last. As a result, we end up with the belief system that we must take care of everyone else before we can care for ourselves. But the reality is that the only way to indeed be there for others is if we first take care of ourselves.

How Self-Love leads to Self-Transformation

It's inarguable that the ability to love ourselves is one of the most important skills we can have, as it affects every aspect of our life. The practice of self-love is about making decisions based on what's best for you, not what others want or expect from you. It's also about being honest about what you want in life, how far you're willing to go to get it, and how much effort you're ready to put into making it happen (regardless of whether it's easy or complex). The unfortunate result of the lack of self-love is that those who don't love themselves often struggle with their relationships, careers, health and other areas of life because they are unable to connect with others on an emotional level. People with low self-love may be attracted to abusive partners or friends who maltreat them because they believe this is all they deserve. They may struggle with anxiety and depression and self-destructive behaviors such as substance abuse or eating disorders. In extreme cases, some people get overwhelmed and become suicidal to escape their negative feelings about themselves. Anyone who has mastered the art of self-love is always happier, more confident and more independent than those who don't have this skill. They feel at peace with themselves no matter what happens in their lives because they know that they are worthy of love and happiness regardless of external circumstances.

How entrepreneurs benefit from practicing self-love

Entrepreneurs are a unique breed of human beings. They are often creative, innovative, hard-working and driven to succeed. These qualities make them great at what they do, but it also makes them prone to the same pitfalls as any other person. As an entrepreneur, your performance and success depend on your ability to show up every day and do the work no matter what. Here are some benefits of having a healthy relationship with yourself:

  • When you love yourself, your confidence becomes unshakable because it comes from within — not from other people or external factors like money or status symbols.

  • Self-love helps you make better decisions. When you don't love yourself, you tend to settle for less, give up too soon, and let fear dictate your choices instead of courage.

  • When you have a positive relationship with yourself, it will improve all other relationships in your life as well.

  • Self-love is a huge stress reliever because it helps you stop beating yourself up over mistakes or failures. Instead of thinking negatively about them, you can reframe them, so they don't seem like such a big deal anymore.

  • It's easy to get caught up in the hustle, but if you don't make time for self-care and self-love, there will come the point where you'll run out of steam.

The most successful entrepreneurs often have a strong sense of self-love. Let’s look at some examples of entrepreneurs who embody this concept and transformed their life with self-love.

Bill Gates

The Microsoft co-founder once said that his success was due to his ability to focus on one thing and not be distracted by other things. Besides dedicating himself to serving humanity through philanthropy, Gates is famously known as an avid reader. He usually makes book recommendations to his followers at various times. Reading is a way of sharpening one's intellect, and Gates' successor fame has not robbed him of such an essential act of self-care.

Oprah Winfrey

The immense success of Oprah Winfrey, who is dedicated to conscious self-improvement, is due to her decision to live authentically and intentionally. In Winfrey's words, "my calling became to create shows that encourage and inspire as much as they entertain." She also said that she "replaced the "If it bleeds, it leads' news philosophy with an intention that still guides me—to use the medium of television for its higher good." Through this, she demonstrated that part of self-care is being able to stick with your values instead of letting external events sway you.

Robert Iger

Robert Iger was famously the CEO of The Walt Disney Company for 15 years. One of the key quotes from his book detailing his experience in that position was: "I tend to approach bad news as a problem that can be worked through and solved, something I have control over rather than something happening to me." One of the qualities of self-love is being grounded in self-confidence and facing challenges head-on instead of drawing back. Iger has demonstrated it by transforming Walt Disney through modern times.

6 proven ways to practice Self-Love

The following self-love methods will help you supercharge your personal development by nourishing your mind, heart, and soul.

1. Practice self-awareness The first step in cultivating self-love is to become aware of your thoughts, feelings, and actions. You also must pay attention to how you treat yourself throughout the day. Are you being kind or harsh? Are you giving yourself enough time and energy? Are you setting realistic goals or expecting too much from yourself? Meditation and Mindfulness are powerful resources and tools to accomplish this goal. 2. Practice daily gratitude By being grateful for everything you have in your life, you will feel more connected to yourself and the others around you. Start by listing what you're grateful for daily — anything from your health to your home and relationships. Then take time to reflect on those things every morning or evening. 3. Practice self-compassion Being kind and compassionate towards yourself helps you understand that no one is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes from time to time. This allows us to forgive ourselves when we make mistakes and move on from them more quickly than if we were harsh with ourselves about them instead. 4. Make time for leisure You may think that you don't have enough time in your busy schedule to make time for leisure, but this is something that you must do if you want to experience true happiness. Leisure activities allow you to clear your mind and recharge your body to be more productive.

5. Take care of your physical wellbeing

Neglecting your physical well-being and giving it the bare minimum in terms of care is easy. We often don't realize how much we rely on our bodies until something goes wrong. However, if you take good care of yourself physically, you will feel more energetic, vibrant, and happy every single day.

6. Connect with people who empower you

It would help if you surrounded yourself with positive people who believe in your worthiness as a human being, who sees the best in you even when they know better than anyone else how flawed you are. Be wary of negative people who try to bring you down; they may make you feel worse than ever before.

Taking small steps

Self-love is part of cultivating a Growth Mindset, and can become a powerful force within us if we learn how to channel its energy properly. The more you work on it, the stronger it will become in your life. So go ahead: start small, take baby steps if you have to, and soon enough, you will be well on your way to mastering a powerful skill that can benefit every aspect of your life.

Disclaimer: The suggestions in this article do not reflect any particular diagnosis or course of treatment. They are meant as a tool to provide you new perspectives. If you have any further concerns about your current well-being, you may contact your GP or a medical specialist.

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Virin Gomber, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine

Virin Gomber is a leading Mindfulness Success Coach, Speaker, and Author.

Following a successful corporate career that left him with stress and burnout, he learned, created, and mastered highly effective Mindfulness strategies to boost his balance and personal performance. Since then, he has integrated Quantum Physics, Neuroscience, and Positive Psychology principles to craft a unique blend for his Mindfulness success system.

Dedicated to helping people become top achievers, the core of his work is with entrepreneurs, CEOs, professionals, and driven individuals to support them to achieve peak performance, balance and happiness.

He offers more than a decade of Success Coaching, corporate training, and 25+ years of Mindfulness experience.

Virin has co-authored an Amazon bestseller, “The Missing Piece in Self Love,” appeared on TV shows, and contributed to numerous global online magazines.

His ‘WHY’: To empower people to create accomplished personal skills to achieve next-level success and happiness.





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