Low Self-Worth, Low Returns – Why Settling for Less Yields Minimum Results
- Brainz Magazine
- Nov 13
- 7 min read
Updated: Nov 14
Diana Cantu Kawas is a psychologist, holistic coach, and spiritual leader known for blending ancient healing practices with neuroscience and psychology to help others transform fear into passion and power. She helps creative leaders unlock deeper layers of their true self-identity for success.
Have you ever found yourself feeling inadequate, unworthy, waiting for external validation to feel accepted, or making unnecessary purchases to prove your worth through the material goods you possess?
Research suggests that up to 85% of people will experience significantly low self-esteem at some point, often accompanied by loneliness, anxiety, depression, academic or workplace difficulties, and even physical symptoms like poor sleep and disordered eating.
As a psychologist, holistic coach, and yoga teacher, I frequently meet leaders who struggle with feelings of low self-worth, and I see the profound impact it has on their relationships, work performance, happiness, and overall well-being. One way this often shows up is in a tendency to give and receive only the bare minimum in personal and professional interactions. But feeling unworthy can impact much more.
What is a “bare minimum” mindset, and why do we settle for it?
Self-esteem begins forming in childhood, shaped largely by the family nucleus. As children, we lack the mental filters to distinguish between helpful and harmful feedback. “Kids are like sponges,” as the saying goes, absorbing messages about whether they are good enough or how they compare to others, often internalizing these ideas as truth.
The real problem begins when we are more receptive to negative input than to positive reinforcement. The question is, when did we start believing others’ opinions about us over our own inner knowing? And as adults, how can we press pause or stop before that narrative continues to harm us?
While we may not have had strong discernment skills as children, as adults, we have the responsibility to cultivate them. Doing inner work around life situations that create trauma and heaviness allows us to detect and interrupt harmful thought patterns, notice when we’re running on old autopilot programs, and consciously choose to pause or reset from a more present, self-aware state.
The connection between self-worth and the bare minimum
According to Society and the Adolescent Self-Image[1], self-worth, self-respect, and confidence are all components of self-esteem, an essential factor in a person’s success and sense of self-realization over a lifetime.
Education, life experiences, and self-reflection all shape self-esteem. While learning and acquiring knowledge can help us find purpose and direction, how we feel about ourselves is often rooted much deeper, in our subconscious.
Your self-perception is not purely your fault, it’s the result of everything stored in your subconscious mind, especially fear-based experiences from early environments where you were supposed to feel safe and supported, schools, family, church, and other formative spaces.
Robert Kiyosaki, in Increase Your Financial IQ, points out that fear-based methods used in schools to motivate, teach, and punish children often leave lasting scars.[2] Many grow into adulthood burdened with self-doubt, making poor decisions, copying or comparing themselves to others, and living under the influence of impulses rather than the guidance of discernment.
This is what Dr. Jack P. Shonkoff and the Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University actually say in their official brief:[3]
“When a young child experiences extreme, frequent, or extended activation of the body’s stress response systems, the ‘toxic stress response’, the result can be disrupted development of brain architecture and other organ systems, and an increased risk for stress-related disease and cognitive impairment well into the adult years.”
When people have low self-worth, they often believe they don’t deserve more than they’re getting. They settle for less in relationships, careers, and personal life, hesitant to ask for what they truly need or want, fearing rejection or disapproval.
People who have learned to live with feelings of being insignificant, powerless, or not good enough end up experiencing a life of scarcity and lack because they keep choosing it. They manifest their self-imposed prophecies, recreating over and over again their so-called “unluckiness” imprinted deep within their subconscious, when they could actually decide they deserve better.
In contrast, those with high self-worth set and maintain healthy boundaries, communicate clearly, and expect mutual respect. They give generously, time, energy, and resources, without fear of depletion.
How to spot a bare minimum or scarcity mindset
It might sound odd, but many people unconsciously choose to settle for the bare minimum. This appears to be prominent in families with weak value systems inherited from past generations or cultures where people are taught to “lower their heads and accept whatever comes.” It’s common to hear phrases like:
“At least…”
“I can’t complain.”
“Whatever works.”
“It could be worse.”
This is scarcity thinking, a mindset that focuses on what’s missing instead of what’s possible. It’s not just about money, it touches self-worth, self-esteem, and self-concept, influencing how we show up in every area of life. It can even affect physical health.
I know this firsthand. Nearly two years ago, my sense of self was shattered. My life felt like it was collapsing, and I slipped into a lack mentality where every day was a struggle. My confidence eroded, I suffered depression, and I stopped believing I could handle life. Overloaded mentally and emotionally, I couldn’t think straight, sleep well, or function normally. I wasn’t just doing the bare minimum, often, I couldn’t even manage that. I was in survival mode.
It may sound strange, but this experience was one of the best things that ever happened to me. Those months were grueling, but I fought with heart and soul, using every resource I had and seeking help. In the end, I realized I was never truly lost. The gifts I gained were beyond comprehension, priceless, and I feel deep gratitude for every part of myself I have now reignited.
The impact on relationships
The bare minimum mentality damages relationships. I’m not trying to be fatalistic or extreme here, but when you consistently settle for less, resentment, disconnection, and loneliness often follow because you are not living in alignment with your true potential. Low self-worth can also make it harder to trust, be vulnerable, and form meaningful bonds. It may lead to isolation, lack of empathy, demanding special treatment, or doing the least required in work and life.
Gallup research shows that employees who feel their organizations care more about their well-being are more engaged and less likely to burn out.[4] Scarcity isn’t just a mindset, it changes brain function, social behavior, and decision-making. A bare minimum mentality is rarely laziness, it’s often the byproduct of mental and emotional depletion.
Why leaders must develop self-worth
You’ve heard the saying, “People won’t take you seriously until you take yourself seriously.” When you learn to give yourself importance and prioritize your needs, you elevate your self-worth, and that can transform your confidence, build trust by establishing real safety within, open new opportunities, and reshape your self-perception.
Leaders with strong self-worth are more likely to:
Inspire and motivate their teams with high standards, clear vision, and authentic leadership.
Make confident decisions and take calculated risks without being paralyzed by fear.
Build strong relationships based on trust, respect, empathy, and effective communication.
Manage stress and maintain well-being, avoiding burnout while sustaining high performance.
It only takes an internal decision not to give in to conformity just because you doubt your capacity for more. Settling for less will always yield minimal results. Sure, you might save yourself some effort, time, or resources, but where will that take you in the long run? And is that truly where you envision yourself?
Just something to keep in mind.
Related: Why Americans Are Working Less
Developing self-worth
Building self-worth takes time, compassion, and often guidance. Some key strategies include:
Challenge negative thoughts: Identify recurring self-defeating beliefs that might be sabotaging you and reframe them with empowering perspectives. The deepest ones may be well-hidden, so give this process time.
Build trust: Confidence and certainty come from rootedness. Stability, balance, and safety are the foundation for the self that requires deconstructing old systems that bring chaos to your life.
Practice putting yourself first and self-care: Go beyond surface-level pampering. Prioritize practices that truly nourish your inner self and lead to lasting transformation, such as journaling, meditation, breathwork, embracing your inner child, and being true to yourself, even if it means going against the grain.
Set and pursue goals: Having a heading brings purpose. Choose a path that ignites your passion and holds significance.
Seek the right support: Friends and family can be pillars, but professional support from a therapist or coach who can hold space in ways loved ones can’t always sustain is a plus.
Practice gratitude: Gratitude is one of the highest emotional states and frequencies, it helps you see the greatness in everything and in yourself.
Conclusion
Low self-esteem is not a life sentence, it can be transformed. It’s time to raise your standards and decide what you will accept from yourself, from others, and from life. Start developing discernment and coherence around what you want and who you are.
With the right support, therapy, coaching, or holistic guidance, you can unravel limiting beliefs, shift harmful thought patterns, and build a healthier inner connection with yourself.
When leaders invest in their self-worth, they strengthen their relationships, expand their impact, and create more fulfilling lives. At Omphalos, we help high-performing creatives reclaim their power, stop self-sabotaging, and achieve their life and career goals with one-on-one guidance or by joining a program.
Access the Navigating Inner Self program here.
Read more from Diana Cantu Kawas
Diana Cantu Kawas, Holistic Coach, Psychologist & Spiritual Leader
Diana Cantu Kawas is a psychologist, holistic coach, and spiritual leader known for blending ancient healing practices with neuroscience and psychology to help others transform fear into passion and power. She works with creative leaders to unlock deeper layers of their true self-identity for success. Before embracing this path, Diana forged a successful career as an editorial director, fashion stylist, and marketing professional. She founded OMphalos Coaching over a decade ago and is known for catalyzing transformative change, helping clients break free from self-doubt, self-sabotage, and perfectionism through her retreats and bespoke programs, including Navigating Inner Self, Self-Expansion, and the proprietary Energetic Cartography method.
Learn more:
[1] Rosenberg, M. (1965). Society and the Adolescent Self-Image. Princeton University Press.
[2] Kiyosaki, Robert (2008). Increase Your Financial IQ, Rich Dad’s.
[3] Shonkoff, Jack P. (2005). Excessive Stress Disrupts the Architecture of the Developing Brain. Center on the Developing Child, Harvard University.
[4] Gallup. Leaders: Ignore Employee Wellbeing At Your Own Risk (2023).
