Love, Loss, and Rest – 5 Lessons a Husband Learned Through Grief and Yoga Nidra
- Brainz Magazine
- Oct 8
- 4 min read
Written by Ayla Nova, Trauma-Informed Yoga Nidra Educator
Ayla Nova is a Yoga Nidra guide and founder of the Peace in Rest program, supporting thousands to restore their nervous systems through deep rest, radical self-acceptance, and trauma-informed practice.
Grief is physical, raw, and unrelenting. Grief is a tidal wave that dismantles even the strongest philosophies. When Tim Gray lost his wife to cancer in early 2024, he discovered that no meditation practice, no Tai Chi session, no intellectual acceptance could prepare him for the force of sorrow.
On the most sleepless night, he tried Yoga Nidra. His first session was on his wife’s birthday, and in his journal he wrote, “I think this might be useful.” What followed was not a cure for grief but a practice that softened its edges and gave him ground to stand on.
Tim has now practiced Yoga Nidra daily for nearly two years. He became one of the first members of the Peace in Rest program, and later one of the first graduates of the Nova Nidra Teacher Training. His devotion to the practice and his willingness to share openly have made him both student and teacher, showing others what it looks like to carry rest into the hardest seasons of life.
5 lessons I carry forward from Tim’s journey
1. Rest is the ground of healing
Tim built what he calls an “ecology of practice,” therapy, movement, journaling, and even brain-training technology. But Yoga Nidra became the soil where the others could take root.
“If you can’t fall asleep when you want to, and you can’t relax when you need to, then all other techniques are built on sand,” Tim said, quoting NeuroVizr’s inventor Garnet Dupuis. Rest is the foundation that allows other healing tools to land.
2. Permission matters more than performance
Traditional meditation often requires concentration, focus, or control, tasks that can feel impossible during grief. Yoga Nidra begins with permission, lying down, closing your eyes, and following a voice. If you drift or even fall asleep, you haven’t failed. You’ve rested.
For Tim, this absence of pressure was liberating. In the chaos of loss, the practice met him with acceptance instead of demand.
3. Become the observer, not the critic
One of Tim’s most profound insights was learning to meet himself as the observer rather than the critic. The critic asked, “Shouldn’t I be over this by now?” The observer simply noticed, without judgment.
Yoga Nidra supports this shift. In the liminal state between waking and sleep, the inner critic quiets, and the subconscious is free to process without interference.
4. Grief cannot be conquered, only accompanied
Nearly two years later, Tim still feels waves of sadness. The difference is that the fear of being stuck has softened. “You can never win in a fight with grief,” he told me. “All you can do is learn to watch it, give it time and space, and become, if not comfortable, at least less uncomfortable with it.”
Yoga Nidra didn’t erase grief for Tim. But it gave him a shoreline to rest on when the tide rose.
5. Consistency creates safety
Healing for Tim has not been about one dramatic breakthrough, but about rhythm. His mornings still include light therapy, 45 to 50 minutes of Yoga Nidra, journaling, Tai Chi, and rowing. He hasn’t missed a day in almost two years.
This consistency gave him more stability than any single intervention. For those in grief, predictability creates safety. The body begins to trust again.
Closing reflection
Working with Tim as one of the first members of Peace in Rest and now as a teacher himself through the Nova Nidra Training has shown me that grief cannot be solved, but it can be softened. Rest is what prepares us to face what feels unfaceable.
Yoga Nidra doesn’t remove grief. But it teaches us to sit with it until it shifts, to breathe when the waves come, and to find a shoreline of rest when everything else feels unsteady.
Invitation
If you are navigating loss, begin with something small. Try this 20-minute Yoga Nidra series for 10 days. Prepare by creating a safe space and allowing yourself to rest into the guidance. You don’t have to go through this alone. Join the free Nova Nidra Community to rest & restore.
Explore free practices on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcast, and more! The Nova Nidra Community awaits.
Read more from Ayla Nova
Ayla Nova, Trauma-Informed Yoga Nidra Educator
Ayla Nova is a Yoga Nidra educator, podcast host, and founder of Nova Nidra. After overcoming a rare form of leukemia in 2018, she dedicated her life to sharing the healing power of rest. Her signature Peace in Rest program helps individuals and professionals transform stress, anxiety, and burnout into resilience and calm. Ayla’s trauma-informed approach blends yogic wisdom, neuroscience, and storytelling to meet people exactly where they are. She also certifies Yoga Nidra teachers through the Nova Nidra Teacher Training. Ayla shares guided practices and education through YouTube, Spotify, and her online community.
