Love Is Not A Transaction – It Is An Experience
- Oct 24, 2024
- 3 min read
Written by Caroline Joseph Reese, Wellness Practitioner
Caroline Joseph Reese has developed a holistic approach to wellness that integrates many healing modalities. Caroline currently serves as the Wellness Resident Practitioner and Supervisor at the Four Seasons Lāna'i in Hawaii.
Love is often celebrated as one of the most profound human experiences, yet its absence can evoke feelings that are equally intense, albeit more difficult to articulate. When faced with the stark truth that no feelings remain, a profound sense of numbness can settle in. This emotional void is not merely a lack of affection; it is a deep-seated sorrow that permeates the soul. It raises questions about the type of love that once existed. Was it a love built on genuine connection and shared moments, or was it tainted?
In today’s world, love has become one of the rarest experiences, yet it remains an enigmatic phenomenon. Often described as the food of the soul, we are filled with love from the moment we are born. However, as we grow, the complexities of life can obscure this fundamental connection.
Understanding love in relationships
To respect and nurture a child, we must first examine the dynamics of love between partners. Too often, love is marred by feelings of domination, possession, and jealousy, all toxic elements that can destroy its essence. Love should be like a fragile flower, requiring care and attention to flourish. Just as a child needs nurturing to grow strong, so does love.
When parents threaten their children with abandonment for misbehavior, “Be good, or you’ll be thrown out,” they create an environment devoid of respect. Such threats can leave children feeling unloved, unworthy, and guilty. In fact, many children grapple with the unsettling thought of whether their parents are truly their parents.
The growth of love
Love can only thrive in an atmosphere of genuine affection. When parents express love towards their children and each other, they foster a nurturing environment where love can flow freely. In these conditions, children grow up to embody love, making it a foundational aspect of their being. Unfortunately, this ideal setting is all too rare.
Human beings often emulate what they see, much like monkeys. Love is challenging to define; it resembles concepts like birth, death, God, or meditation, and it is indefinable and deeply personal. Love cannot be dissected or analyzed; it can only be experienced. It is through this experience that we come to understand its true nature.
Steps to embrace love
To cultivate a deeper understanding of love, consider these steps:
Let go of parental voices: Release the internalized judgments and expectations from your upbringing.
Cultivate compassion for your parents: Recognize their struggles and limitations, which can foster empathy.
Transform your behavior: Instead of imitating your parents, create your own identity and behavioral patterns.
Many people believe they can only love once they find a "worthy" partner. However, the notion of a perfect man or woman is a myth. If such a person existed, they likely wouldn’t choose to be with you.
Embracing imperfection in love
It’s essential to abandon the search for a perfect partner. Love is not contingent on perfection; it is independent of the other. A loving person simply loves, just as a living person breathes, drinks, and sleeps. You don’t wait for perfect air to breathe, nor do you wait for ideal food or water when you’re hungry.
In the realm of love, many play games or wear masks. If someone expresses love for you, be grateful and avoid making demands. Focus on your own joy; everything else is secondary. Ultimately, love is a natural function as essential as breathing. By embracing this understanding, we can rediscover love’s true essence and allow it to flow freely in our lives.
Don’t take anything for granted
When love comes your way, feel grateful and expect nothing in return. Many people take each other for granted, leading to disappointment and resentment. Rather than thinking about how to get love, focus on giving it. If you give, you will naturally receive.
Love is not a transaction; it is an experience. All that is beautiful, like trees blooming or stars shining, exists independently of business. You don’t have to pay for love; it flourishes when given freely and without conditions. When you give, it returns to you a thousandfold, often in ways you never expected.
Read more from Caroline Joseph Reese
Caroline Joseph Reese, Wellness Practitioner
Caroline Joseph Reese is the creator of the Discover Self Coaching Course, which is designed to empower individuals to discover their true selves and empower others. Caroline is a dedicated and passionate healer who approaches each person she meets with love and genuine respect. Caroline currently serves as the Wellness Resident Practitioner and Supervisor at the Four Seasons Lāna'i in Hawaii.
