Listen Up Or Lose ‒ 3 Steps To Mastering The Art Of Listening
Written by: Heidi Dulebohn, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Leaders, when was at the last time you really listened to a team member? No, not the hap-hazard type of listening we are all guilty of—thinking of the next project, your response, or using a device while someone tries to tell you something. We mean really listening... hard to answer, right? If you are shaking your head, that is a concern and a reason to read on!
Leaders need to show respect to team members to feel heard and valued or lose them. Gallup’s latest State of the Global Workplace report reveals a staggeringly low, 20 percent of global workers are not engaged at work, at an estimated cost of a mind-blowing $8.1T annually. Listening yet?
The study also found that post-pandemic 70 percent of global workers are downright struggling; they are stressed, angry, sad, and worried. The way we communicate, in particular, listen, can go a long way to show interest, concern, and compassion.
There is a paradigm shift happening post-pandemic as workers have the opportunity to reprioritize their lives and their values. Workers are willing to quit their jobs to find the right fit—an environment where they will feel heard, respected, and valued. Further solidifying this point is another Gallup study, the decades-long The State of the American Workplace study, which revealed that workers quit poor managers due to lack of good communication, a psychologically safe work culture, and growth opportunities.
The shift is in motion but like all things, it’s never too late to make some changes. Listen up, here are three steps to becoming a better listener because after all, it's good for business.
1. Be Present
Show that you respect and value what someone tells you by being present.
If it’s a scheduled time to meet, prepare by literally shaking off the myriad things on your mind— find a private place and jump and move your arms to shake off distractions, don’t knock it until you try it.
Once your mind is clear, put away devices or other distractions and check your body language—be open, not slumped, or you could appear to be bored. Be present and make eye contact, unless this is considered impolite in your culture, and listen. Sit back, take a deep breath, and be present.
2. Be Empathetic
Put yourself in another’s position and see through their lens.
Imagine yourself in your team member’s situation, be mindful of their feelings, and read the room. Is this the right time for this conversation? Are you in an appropriate space? Part of good listening is mindfulness to determine if the climate or timing is suitable. If either of you is rushed, this is not the right time.
The ability to discern another’s emotions and listen in a meaningful way is fundamental to building relationships, communicating, nurturing, building, protecting, and inspiring to lead and interact with others successfully.
3. Respond Appropriately
At its root, being a good listener is about showing respect and responding at the proper time.
When your team member begins to speak, relax and listen, and listen some more. Let them finish their thought without interruption. It can be very hard not to interrupt and jump into the conversation. Please resist the temptation to interrupt or finish their sentence, which comes across as disrespectful, and it suggests you think you are more intelligent, faster, or don’t have the time to listen.
Once they finish their thought, allow for a pause—awkward at first, yet incredibly powerful, to make sure they have genuinely finished their opinion. You will be amazed at what you can learn by employing patience and a pause and letting them finish their thoughts.
Don’t compose your response while they are speaking. If you’re doing this, you are not actively listening and fully attentive.
Avoid adding your similar story, even in an attempt to relate. Once you tell your account, you have changed the conversation and made it about you, not the team member. This comes across as a “one-up.” It’s alright to mention you had a similar situation, but wait until the end of the conversation and do not elaborate. Without making it all about you and your experiences, you can establish a connection.
Work on these three things and you will be shocked at the improvement in productivity, retention, and overall culture in the workplace. Because we all know the workplace has changed and if we do not adapt to it, we will be left behind.
Successful leaders need more than intellectual excellence to succeed. So-called soft skills or social skills, such as listening, are paramount to being a good leader. Hear your team members when they tell you they seek purpose; personally and for their organization, flexibility, and lifestyle.
Team members need to feel they work in a safe environment, where their voices are welcome, heard, and valued, where they can feel nurtured and invested in their career growth, mental and physical well-being, and their communities. Your efforts as a leader will pay off with a happier, loyal, and engaged workforce. Not to mention an increase in innovation and productivity.
Open your mind, and start listening.
Heidi Dulebohn, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
After traveling the world, breaking barriers and securing several "firsts" as an executive in the grain trading industry, Heidi turned her passion for etiquette into a series of helpful workshops, columns and crowd-pleasing speaking engagements. Fascinated by the cultural history behind traditional etiquette rules, Heidi has devoted her career to empowering leaders with a modern-day version of those same wonderful rules. A highly certified expert on modern etiquette for the digital age, she is dedicated to sharing all she knows to help others live their best personal and professional lives. Her mantra: Be kind. It's free.
