Life Lessons from a Recovering Perfectionist
- Brainz Magazine
- May 12, 2021
- 3 min read
Written by: Jesi Carroll, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Tough love time.
Remember when you used to throw the word “Perfectionist” around like a badge of honor as if it increased your value?
But then somehow, it still debilitated you from your goals?
You would set that bar so high, and just when you thought you could reach it, you placed it one notch higher to ensure you didn’t.
Achievement isn’t really an achievement if it’s easy (or fun for that matter), right?
For some reason, the insanity of doing that time and time again created the illusion you were progressing.
But constant movement doesn’t always mean advancement.
Remember when everything was to prove to others you deserved to do it?
Exhausting, wasn’t it?
Allowing every thought, opinion, and “truth” of another to become your comfort zone.
Even reading their “truth” ahead of time like a psychic so you could beat them to the punch as to act accordingly and not step out of line.
You wouldn’t dare express your independent thoughts differing from those around you. That would place you so far from your goal of acceptance and approval; it’s not even funny.
You see, perfectionism has a tricky way of turning us away from ourselves. It slowly convinces us that we have a long way to go, so we remain striving.
If only we knew life isn’t even about an outcome at all but about the journey on the way there...
Yet on that journey, we decide we can’t trust ourselves, and we stop valuing our own opinion. We decide to stop asking how we feel and think because it “doesn’t matter” anymore anyway.
What others deem as good enough becomes our compass too. Their bar becomes our bar, but now we don’t even control the height it goes.
We’ve lost our way. But didn’t we just have a compass? Oh, it wasn’t mine? That’s right. Keep listening to them. They have the compass. They know the way.
The cycle repeats, and every time it does, we move a little further away from ourselves and our inner knowing of what’s for us. Therefore, the path becomes windier and more confusing as we continue.
Our intentions are kind, but the result is resisting freedom to live a life controlled by fear, and there is a way out.
It’s simple and unconventional.
Our consumer-driven world tells us it’s not enough, but this boring advice works.
Breathe. Pause. Re-direct your focus back onto you. Know you aren’t a mind reader. You’re powerful, but so is free will. Control what you can control. Ask yourself questions. Be patient in receiving an answer. Know it’s on the way, in its perfect timing. Stop trying so hard and just be still.
You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.
That’s all you’ll ever need to know.
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Jesi Carroll, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Jesi Carroll, Life Design Coach, is a certified Interior Designer and Mindset Coach who can show you how to Re-design your life (AND home) in the way you're worthy of. She specializes in taking her clients from decorating overwhelm and debilitating people-pleasing and perfectionism to relief at home and in life. She believes that design is a mirror that can reflect our inner world back to us. When leveraged properly, it can be life-changing and allow us to dive deep into the subconscious to heal truly. This tool is available to all of us, and she is here to show you how to harness it! Jesi offers virtual interior design, 1on1 life coaching, and an in-depth, immersive experience combining the two worlds of design and coaching. She believes it's time to heal at the soul level and to do so through fun, unique, and non-intimidating modalities.
