Learning To Understand The Patterns Of The Valley Of Grief So We Can Find The Peace To Heal

Written by: Eleanora Grace Heart, Senior Level Executive Contributor

Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.

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Grief can be a portal to the layers of truth consciousness. Grief is the hardest element to face on earth for humans as we have evolved for thousands of years. We certainly have a lot to learn about the laws of nature and how to accept, and even acknowledge what it entails to realize the patterns and the messages it teaches us.

So many layers of consciousness that grief brings forth right into our faces. There are so many kinds of grief. But the lesson is what we need to uncover and have the realization that hopefully we would be awakened to bring that peace element on earth, and not choose to be ignorant about it and find excuses not to heal. Because the other side of the pendulum of grief is grace with peace and love. It is just part of the natural laws of nature.

The patterns of it entail the details of our life path and the purpose of why we are truly here for. Grief is a glimpse part to wake us up. To be more conscious and mindful that life is fragile and let’s not take it for granted or sabotage it, especially when life is going well. And that we are all connected to the elements of truth. Therefore, that truth begins to help us realize who we are and what we can be of service to ourselves and others. Because you see, grief connects us to peace. And the link between grief and peace is the grace essence where we learn to understand love without judgment or measures.

Let me share with you a short story on how I dealt with grief. I lost three important people in my life. My firstborn child passed away to suicide at age 14 almost 5 years ago. I lost my dad to heart failure just last year in August. I just lost the love of my life and partner last month January 20th to sudden death with a blood clot that traveled from his leg straight to his heart.

Long story short, grief has taught me a lot about how to be awakened to the portal of truth consciousness, and be at peace with the message it brings. I’ve written my memoir as part of healing therapy for me when I was grieving the loss of my son years ago. And this year when I lost my life partner, it led me to continue writing my 4th book as part of my healing process as well. I always choose well to grieve healthily without losing myself in the darkness of grief but instead I embrace the light of grief that shed a light into the cracked opening of my broken heart. I do acknowledge and accept the low point of grieving where I felt all 5 stages of grief, which I’ll mention below in this article. And I’ll use the same quantum healing tools I used before when I lost my son by turning my loss into love, grief into grace and gratitude, hurt into healing, and wounds into wisdom. I am in a state where I can share the inner tools in how I have learned to grieve with grace. So that I may find the lesson of it and heal my heart in peace within the waves of grace.

Here are the tools to understand the valley of grief below:

Grief comes in ebbs and flows like being in the valley. Sometimes you are at the twin high points of the pendulum of grief, and other times you are at the low point of it, and back to the high points again. But there is hope in finding peace in it all.

Understanding the low essence of grief: The low point of grief is when we feel the essence of wounds deep within us while we are walking the valley in the grieving stages.

These are the stages of grief in the low point of grief: the state of anger, blame, sadness, bargaining, and even in a denial state of mind. This is when we need to be careful in how we choose to feel mixed emotions when we grieve, as we bounce off from one state to another state of being. Because if we lack the understanding of how to handle it, we end up losing ourselves in the dark side of grief and stay stuck in grieving without understanding.

We then become of no use to anyone we love who is still living among us. It is not healthy to lose ourselves in the low point of grieving. It is okay to feel the stages of grieving like bouncing from one emotion to another, but we must choose to learn how to regulate our emotions to still function in our day-to-day life on earth. By that, we choose to heal wisely and honor our time to grieve and not disrespect grieving with destructive dysfunctional, and unacceptable behavior. Just because we go through such loss and tragedy of the stages of the low point of grief, it is not an excuse not to be responsible for our own healing forward and be a better example to our family and friends who are still with us.

We need to be more responsible for our healing despite the tragedy and loss. This way, we end the suffering consciousness but instead bring the healing consciousness forward. Thus, this is grieving consciously in peace. It also helps and permits others to grieve healthily as we lead ourselves as an example with a mind and heart state of consciousness in grace.

Acknowledgment and acceptance:

1. Acknowledgment

2. Acceptance.

Recognizing the two high points of grief regardless of the loss, these are still the peaks of the creative state deep within us where we go in a state of grace. This means realizing there is still a choice to create a gift of experience for the healing to flow. When we then embody the essence of grace, we become in harmony, not only in understanding the purpose of grief, but we make peace with the “as is-ness” of it.

The twin high points of grief give us not only hope but a choice to create life on earth better than our yesteryears. This is when we turned our loss into love, grief into grace and gratitude, hurt into healing, and even the wounds into wisdom. We are then made peace with the past events to heal forward mindfully and wholeheartedly. Being in the state of grace in these twin peaks in the valley of grief is about giving space for ourselves to heal the wounds deep within us. And that is being in the state of grace healing forward.

Avoid judgmental attitude: The next point is when we choose to make peace with all the low points and high points and turn it around into an understanding with love, especially with no judgment at all. This is the highest and most important part of healing forward, while honoring the grieving of our beloved ones, or the loss of a job, a breakup, a financial crisis, or the loss of a pet… just to name a few.

When we judge, we separate from the state of being in grace. We cloud our minds with negativity and we feel that we are spiraling down. We then make poor choices of method in how we discern or filter our perception of things in life, especially in the face of death or loss.

The only way to stop being in a state of the judgment of ourselves and others when grieving is to pause and look from deep within. From the state of pause, we need to require ourselves the essence of understanding with care, compassion, patience, and the willingness to believe to create life in love again. Understanding the laws of this nature is a requirement of growth deep within us. Because in truth, love with understanding brings inner peace regardless we feel the valley of grief on loss.

To know more about understanding how to regulate your emotions during the low and high points of grieving stages, I have the inner tools for you to start your quantum healing process and find yourself in this situation beyond our human understanding.

If you or anyone you know are going through the grieving stages of the loss of loved ones, reach out to me and I will show you the right tools on how to heal healthily in peace with grace, regulate emotions with in-depth universal laws of understanding, and an understanding of the mind-heart-soul coherent state of being.

Feel free to read my blog and click here on: How to deal with the anniversary of a loved one’s death.

Apply here to book your session with me on grief in peace with grace. Then, you will learn to pass this wisdom on to others who are going through it as well.

Remember, to always love on as we heal and grieve in grace!

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Read more from Eleanora Grace Heart

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Eleanora Grace Heart, Certified Transformational Life Coach

Eleanora Grace Heart, is a mother to 4 teenagers, a Published Author, Grief Advocate, Certified Sophrologist, and a Certified Transformational Life Coach, in which she specializes in emotional and adaptability intelligence. She also develops an online empowerment Masterclass. She has lived in 5 countries and has worked as a Philanthropist for several years with her family. Her background education in Western culture on Psychology, Quantum Consciousness, and life growing up in a blend of Eastern and African cultures full of diverse life experiences have brought immense wisdom within the span of her life. A mother on a mission: empowering others to embody their true resilient essence wholeheartedly.