Leadership Must-Have — Arguments to Avoid Complaining
- May 28, 2021
- 3 min read
Written by: Henrik Pettersson, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Feel sorry for yourself, get lost in the swamp of bitterness — or complain.
Surveys show we practice a negative spread of toxins between fifteen and thirty times a day. From an energy point of view, it is important for us to clarify our complaints and how they affect us. Is there anything that drains us more of power? You need your energy for things that drive forward rather than fill you with more negative thoughts, right?
Complaints have two faces:
When you express something uncomfortable, that is wrong or dislike, and the person in front of you can’t do anything about it.
When you can, but do not offer a solution yourself — or act, to do something about it.
It's like getting a cold coffee at a coffee shop. If you ask for a new cup and you do not complain, then you're doing something about it. But, if you instead say that, "This coffee was cold, they don’t do anything right in this place!" You'll get stuck in pointless whining instead of doing something about it.
At the same time, there are two types of complaint machines, which we all commute between.
The energy vampire: The classic complainant, who is constantly looking for fault but does nothing about it himself.
The Inspirer: The solution-oriented, who prefers to see solutions to problems rather than problems with solutions.
So my first question is — Which of the types do you hang out with the most? It may be difficult to answer because complaining has become a social trend, discussing coffee breaks, at the dinner table or in front of the TV. And, if you come across someone who never complains, you get suspicious, right?
If you want to stand out from the crowd, if you want energy over to things that create strong results, here are three arguments for why we should stop poisoning ourselves with negative thoughts.
Focus. Where focus goes, energy flows. And since it is the energy that makes it possible to take action, it’s important to choose where and how, and when you invest it.
Victim. The one who complains sees himself as a victim. One thing that makes you powerless prevents you from performing at the level you have the capacity to.
Comfort. When we complain, we give ourselves the right to withdraw and close our eyes to our potential.
Solutions for those who want to save up energy:
Be aware of how often you yourself are an energy vampire. Simply move a rubber band on the wrist from one hand to the other every time you complain. You will probably be surprised at how often you fall into the negative zone.
Glide. When you feel that you are about to start complaining, you may have already done so, but you choose to slip over to provide a solution and get yourself to action.
24H Rule. Give yourself a challenge that you should not complain about at all for 24 hours. If you feel that you have not managed it, then start counting the new 24 hours. This is a really tough challenge for most people, test it yourself, and you will see how you handle it.
It is only when we see the whole picture that we can do something about our own possible shortcomings.
Complaining about others is one thing, but constantly complaining about yourself is a sink you should get rid of.
As we think and feel, we speak and act. It is as easy to get caught up in the complaint spiral as it is to get out of it. If you only are motivated to create strong results.
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Henrik Pettersson, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Since 2004, Henrik has been working as a coach, educator, and motivational speaker around Europe. Life is about growth. The challenge to growth is to gain boldness to handle our fears and vulnerability. To strengthen your spine - to be able to manage your challenges towards stronger results. Life’s tough at times, and the formula for gaining more boldness, and dig deep into, is Faith – Energy – Focus. His new book is built on the three pillars above and is called: program yourself to success. Henrik is frequently hired by large companies like Volvo, H&M, and Avis.
