Written by: Stephanie Reh, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Inclusion is a compelling solution to many of our world’s most pressing problems, provided that it is embraced as a shared value and responsibility. I believe much of our societal conflict is a direct result of exclusion experienced personally, and therefore much of the conflict can be resolved on a personal level.
People who are purposely left out or not intentionally included - or perceive that either scenario occurred - often conclude the worst about themselves and humanity. Their self-esteem plummets, and they adopt a universal distrust policy to protect themselves from additional pain. They become suspicious of even the most sincere people. Their body language sends the message that they don’t want to be engaged, so people stop trying to interact with them and they feel even more excluded...a self-fulfilling prophecy.
These same people typically experience heightened anxiety and depression, and more effort is required to heal them. Some turn to anger, ruminating over being wronged. They can become verbally or physically aggressive, and in the worst-case scenario, exact revenge by taking another’s life.
If that’s not bad enough, the target of their rage often isn’t limited to the person(s) involved in the original exclusion. Projection leads to hate and attacks on innocent people.
Who doesn’t remember a time when they were left out of a game on the playground? Or not asked to the dance? Or teased because they were different? Or flat-out rejected when they asked to be invited? These experiences sting, and we carry them with us well into adulthood. Even when we think we’ve moved past our past, it often persists in our subconscious.
Once scorned, we feel justified in holding a grudge much stronger and much longer than the original incident(s) that offended us. In The Incredibles (2004), Syndrome’s childhood rejection by Mr. Incredible led him on a lifelong pursuit of revenge. The former superfan of superheroes made it his mission to level the playing field so superheroes wouldn’t have an advantage over “normal” people.
If we don’t forgive and forget, we can become villains too.
I am encouraging forgiveness for sure, but more so, I’m encouraging you to stop the cycle. Don’t exclude someone now because you were excluded then. You’re punishing innocent people who may then punish other innocent people. You’re also punishing yourself by limiting your potential.
We all have a desire to feel special, whether we admit it or not. Fulfilling that desire shouldn’t occur at the expense of someone else’s happiness. There is another, better way.
A single act of kindness and openness can trigger a domino effect that delivers hope to the discouraged, inspires generosity, changes the trajectory of someone’s life, prevents violence, etc. Imagine what millions of acts of kindness can do!
The key here is to have an abundance mindset, not one of scarcity. There is more than enough of everything for everyone: attention, ideas, customers, resources, etc. There is no justifiable reason to hip check people out of the way so we can get what we want.
We must challenge the reasons we have for why we allow exclusivity to persist. We cannot pretend that we have others’ best interests in mind when we are really pushing our own agenda. We have to admit our faults and own our motives. That ownership is a cornerstone of personal accountability.
We will have to tame our egos to fully embrace inclusivity because it means we can’t do a land grab out of an assumption of entitlement or a feeling of superiority. We have to share.
When you give freely, you can freely receive rewards in return. Everyone wins when everyone welcomes each other with open arms, offering and embracing compassion, acceptance, and equal opportunity.
Efforts to diversify workforces and other groups often fail because inclusion is not properly addressed - to everyone and by everyone. We cannot only expect corporations, churches, community leaders, etc., to take action. It is everyone’s responsibility to promote and model inclusivity. Every person. Everywhere.
Being inclusive doesn’t mean that people who aren’t willing to put in the work should be given the same opportunities as those who make the sacrifices necessary to develop themselves and make increasingly significant contributions to society.
Inclusivity means you don’t slam the door in their face. Instead, the doors are open for everyone to participate in a conversation about how to constructively take part in what is going on and how to achieve their goals.
In the business world, I want inclusivity to mean all people are welcomed at their point of entry and shuttled to specific resources that will serve them best. New college graduates are given the opportunity to explore different careers to find their best match. Employees who are more established in their careers are encouraged to pivot according to evolving interests rather than pigeonholed according to someone else’s interpretation of where their skills are best put to use. Aspiring entrepreneurs are supported as they experiment and take risks.
I want everyone to reach backward to mentor those whose path they’ve already trod, and by doing so, pay it forward. Companies will routinely leverage employee engagement as their most critical asset and reap the rewards in sizable profit. They will reinvest in their employees and their business to ensure they have long-term sustainability. They will generously support their local communities, doing their part to maintain the continuous cycle of giving, receiving, and giving back.
Here we’ve imagined a world where inclusivity is embraced as a shared value and a shared responsibility. This is a world where everyone takes it upon themselves to ensure all people are given equal opportunity to thrive.
Now that we’ve imagined this world let’s each of us and all of us make it happen.
Stephanie Reh, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Stephanie Reh is on a mission to help more people to serve more people. Stephanie’s aim and passion as President & Founder of Accountability Evangelist is to help accountable people achieve their most ambitious goals so that they can happily live a life of fulfillment and make a tremendous, positive impact on the lives of the people they choose to serve. Stephanie’s signature offering for personal transformation is the Focus & Momentum Goal Mastery online group coaching program. For organizational transformation, she specializes in Succession Planning / Leadership Development, Strategic Planning / Goal & Risk Management, and Change Management for Mergers & Acquisitions. Stephanie is an active community volunteer and champion. One of Stephanie’s current priorities is to help build a thriving, diverse, and inclusive entrepreneurial community in Western New York State, USA.
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