In This Peace
- Brainz Magazine
- Mar 30, 2022
- 6 min read
Updated: Mar 31, 2022
Written by: Junie Swadron, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Recently, my beloved partner, David, was concerned about me. I was unable to sleep most nights and was operating on empty.
After COVID 19 started, having lost my ‘in-person’ book coaching business, I had to dance as fast as I could, to find a way to get it online and then find people to register. Two things I find the most frustrating in my work are tech and marketing!
With the help of dedicated people, I managed both. The week before my Author Mentorship Program was to begin, with 18 people registered, I chose to take a much-needed holiday. I chose to go to a 26-acre retreat centre cradled by two lakes with forest trails throughout the property. It would require taking a ferry from Victoria to Vancouver, then driving about two hours, and then hopping on another ferry at Horseshoe Bay to Bowen Island - a tiny, remote island off the coast of Vancouver Island.
David drove me there but had to return home the next day. That night, nestled in our cabin in the woods, I woke at 4:50 a.m. in absolute turmoil wanting the world to go away! I needed more than 4 days I needed to get off the never-ending treadmill for at least a month.
I knew it was impossible. I had to show up and facilitate my new online program. I couldn’t sleep so I went over to my computer to check some details of the course and woke David in the process. Frustrated, I returned to bed. David sat up and stated,
“Junie, if you don’t take advantage of this time here and breathe in the peace of this land, I will take your computer and your cell phone with me when I leave”.
I told him, equally emphatically, that I would hide his car keys.
He stayed silent awhile, then offered me what he knew would be the sure “fix” that would transform my anxiety and funk. He reached over, handed me my journal and said,
“Here. Now write.”
I didn’t want to. I wanted to whine. Belligerently, I got out of bed, went to the small desk, put on the desk lamp, and wrote from the prompt he offered me, In this peace, I shall… And as always, I am so grateful I did. How else will I ever know the truth? I cannot. It is writing that brings me home to myself without fail each and every time.
IN THIS PEACE I SHALL…
In this peace, I shall find God.
In this peace, I shall find me.
In this peace, I will unravel. I will twist and turn and be shoved and shaken and, in this peace, I shall not resist.
I will not hang onto rugged branches that jut out from the banks. I will not grasp onto their temporary refuge from the raging rapids. No, I shall let the river take me to and fro winding down and around its billowing unpredictable forcefield.
I surrender here fully even though my heart is pumping faster than hurricane blood – coursing, exploding through this body’s fragile temple, lungs infused with God’s purest prana. I know even though this unstoppable force is leading me to destinations unseen, unknown and uncharted, never before have I felt this safe.
In these rapids, I shall find the peace that surpasses all understanding, and I shall rest here. Here I AM the eye of the storm. An impartial witness in waters gone mad, born of lost dreams and uncertainty.
Yet I AM Still. I AM Peace.
Did I really think my puny hands, no matter how tightly I clenched them, would save me? Such naivete.
I am ready to see, feel and know myself as the God I AM. I AM ready to drop the scales from my eyes and open them as a newborn baby does, seeing the world and its majestic splendour for the very first time.
I AM that baby. Born anew. Curious, joyful, unstoried, free! Yes, the raging rapids of my life could have bounced and broken me against a million boulders, smashed me into shards of glass, rendering me defeated, hopeless, dead even.
Instead, the waters in all their compassionate glory opened their arms to this inner river’s untamed fury infusing the turmoil with gentle, rocking motion. Now a lullaby quieting the unrelenting noise of the torture chamber of the mind shapeshifting me from high alert into unsuspecting emptiness and grace.
Pure exhaustion finally surrendered itself, its last gasp of holding on only to arrive naked upon pristine beaches. ‘Mother Earth’s welcoming breast seducing me into deep peaceful slumber washing clean all that went before.
And when I woke it was as though a thousand nights had passed. Rested, Restored, and Rendered brand new, bearing witness to Heaven on Earth.
Here I vowed to walk with the angels and saints who carried me here. I vowed to remain humble in this glorious land of Eden. Here I now taste the palate of milk and honey ready to savour its gifts in sustainable ways.
And I shall walk among others who have survived bruises too horrific to name. They too have had raging river rapids now transformed into calm blue seas and it is here that we meet and recognize one another … Our Tribe and it is our mission to walk together to shine our Gratitude, our Love and our Light. We walk fearlessly hand in hand into storms, calming the seas of disquiet for all those ready to walk among us and know the Promise and the Peace of God that beats our collective hearts as one.
In this Peace, we walk together co-creating with our Maker
In this Peace we find Truth
In this Peace, we are One
In this Peace we are Love
In this Peace we are Home
Addendum:
I was a child without a voice. It was not safe to speak out at home, but I discovered my diary. It was my safe place. The only place. I had no idea that the little red book with its lock and key, that I found at the age of 11 would become my lifeline and has continued to be such my entire life.
Eventually, I realized that writing strengthened me. Words, thoughts, ideas, beliefs flowed out of my pen that my subconscious had, up until then, kept in hiding. The more I wrote, the more I learned about myself. The writing soon enough gave me the courage to speak out. It took decades but the woman I am today does not resemble the person I was for more than the first half of my life.
Today I am a psychotherapist, writing coach and teach others the magic of the pen. My motto, which comes from true lived experience, is this:
“Your soul meets you on the page and something shifts. You strengthen. You begin to stand stronger. Then one day you notice that your voice on the page becomes your voice in the world.”
If you don’t believe me, you must pick up your pen and try it yourself.
And if you still aren’t convinced, try Ray Bradbury’s words,
“If you do not write every day, the poisons would accumulate, and you would begin to die or act crazy or both. You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.”
Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info!
Junie Swadron, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Junie Swadron is an author, playwright, psychotherapist, international speaker, workshop facilitator, and professional writing coach who has spent the last thirty years guiding thousands of students in writing and sharing their life stories. She sees the therapeutic process and the creative process as one. “It is about accessing a special place within us where serenity, love, courage, and truth reside. It is from this place that we begin to know our true spirit. It is from this place we begin to heal.” What makes Junie’s approach to healing extraordinary is that she knows both sides of the couch. On her own healing journey, Junie found writing to be her greatest ally. Her personal experiences have taught her resiliency and coping strategies for choosing health and wellness again and again. She now shares her success with her clients and students, helping them connect to their creativity and healing through the written word and other modalities.
