If You Have No Friends
Written by Katie Queue, Life Coach and Spiritual Guide
Katie Queue is a gifted and well-known psychic medium and life coach with a unique background in both corporate and spirituality. Voted "Top Psychic" and with continually rising acclaim, Katie's reputation in the spiritual community speaks for itself. With over 10,000 positive reviews worldwide.
I have never heard the phrase “I have no friends” more than I have recently, and I don’t think it’s a bad thing.
Pre-COVID, we were living a certain way, monotonously following a pre-designed path of what we were taught life should look like. In our teens, we were expected to have fun and explore what we wanted. In our twenties, we were supposed to pivot toward our goals and work hard to achieve them. By our thirties, we were expected to build on the ideas cultivated in our twenties, and by our forties, we should have a solid group of friends and a great relationship. Sounds good, right? Sounds logical? However, throw in a few recessions, some geopolitical disruptions, and two years of on-and-off COVID restrictions, and those pre-requisite dreams have come crashing down.
Some friends couldn’t cope and chose paths of self-destruction. Others became so focused on security that they abandoned friendships to settle down with someone rich. Some moved back home to be closer to loved ones as their worlds fell apart. And others, weaker than you thought, dropped you like a hot potato when you needed them most, your support system, the one you had tirelessly worked toward building, was gone. So what now? Where are your friends? Add to this the isolation COVID imposed on us. We went inward. “Now that I am housebound, have time, and am not mindlessly meeting friends for drinks after work or going to the gym or engaging in all those hobbies and actions that made sense, what now? What do I need to do for my mental health? What do I need to do for me? Do I even like my life?” Isolation gave us time. Time to figure out whether we even enjoy those martinis we used to have every Friday or if we prefer waking up fresh on a Saturday without scrolling through group chat messages to see what we said to our boss after four pints at a work social.
We changed.
So here we are, clawing back into society. Our self-esteem is higher; we’ve identified who we’d rather be and what we don’t like. The problem is, we’re walking into work, surrounded by people we once liked, only to find them insipid and banal. Our friends, too, seem to be focusing on themselves, some in positive ways, others selfishly. Either way, we’re not quite looking at people the same way anymore. We all stopped working together.
To add transparency here, let me tell you a story. I used to have lots of friends. We would ask how each other were, and I loved helping people. When COVID happened, I was the only one who sent care boxes. That’s when I realized I was surrounded by weak people. Subconsciously, and most likely because I liked helping others, I had attracted dishonest, weak individuals who were looking for a mommy figure. Not quite the frequency I wanted. I love helping, but I don’t enjoy being a mommy to grown adults.
When chaos struck, I removed myself from everyone. They were all takers, every single one of them. I hadn’t seen it before because I was constantly on the go, jumping on trains, going to the pub, hitting the gym, and doing it all over again the next day. But when I was given time, the realization hit me like a ton of bricks.
Now, as I come back to real life, feeling a little more refreshed and aligned, the signs I used to miss are as clear as day. Just yesterday, I met someone new. Her first couple of phrases were, “Are you home often? Oh good, you can look after my cat!” and “We can go for coffee and a walk if you like! My hobbies are!” I thought, Yes, awesome, anything else I can do for you? Previously, I would have thought it would be nice to make her happy. Now, I think, You haven’t even asked what my hobbies are, and maybe I don’t want to look after your cat.
Are you lonely and feel like you have no friends? Or are you transitioning from one paradigm to another? Often, when there is growth, the land feels barren at first. Think of a seed you plant. You look at the surface and think, “Where’s the plant? Maybe it’s not growing?” The land seems barren. But you hold onto a little faith, and sooner or later, a small stem appears. Then, it deliciously unfurls into a wonderful plant or flower. That is you right now. You’ve moved away from what was not serving you, and it’s quiet for a while, and that’s okay. Everything is going to be fine. Don’t lose hope. You’ve had some time, faced a few disasters, and the life plan you compartmentalized into decades had to be scrapped. I think we can all appreciate that we won’t be living the life of the previous generation. We’ll probably be getting married, having kids, and buying houses a little later than before, and that’s okay. Perhaps our lives will be a little longer because of it!
Trust yourself. You’re judging situations correctly now, and you’re no longer tolerating surface-level trickery. You’re looking for deeper connections and real people who can sustain any levels of change and disaster.
A new day is here, and I believe it’s brighter than before. Weakness has officially left the building.
Read more from Katie Queue
Katie Queue, Life Coach and Spiritual Guide
Katie Queue is a leader in her field. She is the editor-in-chief of two magazines, Katie Queue Magazine and the Impact Formula, where she has featured Grammy Award Winners, Ivor Novello Award Nominees, Record Breakers and many more. The Impact Formula is making an impact and has a reach of 410,000 people. Katie also has a growing podcast audience with over 10,000 plays. Katie works with celebrities and non-celebrities to help them carve out a more confident and authentic version of themselves.
