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How Your Relationship With Yourself Is the Basis Of Everything In Your Life

Written by: Aura E. Martinez, Executive Contributor

Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.


The intention of this article is for you to value highly the most important relationship you will ever have because it is THE relationship that dictates everything in your life. I want to start by sharing my story.

As a Self-Discovery & Empowerment Coach, I didn’t start out doing the work that I am currently doing. I started out as a Wellness & Life Coach helping people get out of the sugar rollercoaster they would find themselves in and lose the weight. What I realized during this time was the fact that the help that people needed was beyond a meal plan and workout routine… the work was within.

They had a relationship with food and the body that reflected the relationship they were having with themselves. Every relationship we have with everything else and everyone around us reflects our own relationship with ourselves.

Therefore, I help women gain total clarity as to their purpose so they can wake up to daily fulfillment and certainty- and by purpose, I am not necessarily referring to just a calling.

Your most purposeful life is going to come from your relationship with yourself. It is you understanding yourself in such a deep level and peeling the layers that cover the core of who you really are what will allow you to live a way where fulfillment and certainty are yours everyday.

So, how does your relationship with yourself the basis of everything else in your life?

1. How you feel about yourself will determine how much you allow yourself to receive.

There was a time when I questioned myself as to why I wasn’t receiving more, why certain things wouldn’t manifest, why the very things that I knew were for me seem to happen for others but not for me. When I did a deeper analysis, the answer to this was so shocking to my core- I didn’t feel worthy of the very things that I wanted.

I know this may sound absurd at first if you don’t think this is the issue. We are so trained to look at what it is we are doing that we ignore a very critical element that plays a very big role in everything that we allow in our life and that is our being.

Your being constitutes a big part of your purposeful living. If this first isn’t in alignment with what you say that you want, there is no way you can have it. So, it will be important for you to understand how you feel about yourself.

Do you feel good about yourself?

If not, why not?

How do you feel about what you desire?

Does it feel like it is possible for you to have what you desire? If not, why not?

These questions will provide you with clues as to how you truly feel about yourself and what you desire.

2. The conversations you have with yourself, and others, are also a reflection of your relationship with yourself and will determine what you draw to you.

This is something that is so subtle and overlooked that it is time that you take a close look at this.

Your words create. Your words have energy. Your words influence your emotions. Your words are your commands. But something else that your words are that very often gets overlooked is that they reflect what is going on in your inner world.

Because of everything that I wrote above, the conversation that you have in between your temples is so important to be mindful of. If you want to know why your outer world is the way it is, pay attention to what you are saying to yourself. Let’s use money as an example.

If you notice that money just seems to “slip” from your hands, how are you viewing money?

If money was a person, how would you feel about him/her?

What kind of relationship do you have?

What do you think of him/her?

What are some thoughts that go through your mind when you think of money?

What goes through your mind when you think of anything is a conversation you have that reflects the relationship that you have with yourself.

Now let’s look at the conversation that you have with others because this, too, reflects your relationship with self. If you notice that you tend to complain a lot about something with others, I invite you to think about how this complaint relates to you. For instance, if you find yourself complaining to others about something not working the way you want it to work, think about how this makes you feel about yourself.

What are the thoughts that you have about this not working the way you want it to work?

What are you making this mean about yourself?

What are you making this mean about your life?

Can you see how this all links back to you and your relationship with yourself? When you feel good about you and your life, that is how you will feel about everything else outside of you.

3. The actions you take reflect how you think about yourself.

This was a hard one for me to digest and at the same time, so liberating because it meant that I have control over what goes on in my outer world.

I had a sneaky belief that I didn’t realize the magnitude of how this was affecting my life and that was the belief that I was not enough. This drove me to taking actions that were not in alignment with my soul, choosing relationships that were not satisfying to me, and the list just goes on.

Whenever you notice that you do things that don’t either a) give you any fruits, or b) just plain hurts you in the long run, you must assess what you think about yourself.

What do you think about yourself?

Why do you think these things about yourself?

How do these things that you think about yourself make you feel?

Do these thoughts support you in the direction that you want to head in life?

If you give yourself the moment to reflect upon the questions in this article and everything that I have shared here, you will see how the most important relationship that needs to be solid and intact is the one that you have with yourself. This is because this is the foundation to absolutely everything in your life. This is what will dictate what you allow, what you do, what you manifest, how much you receive, and everything else in between.

You are the secret to your most purposeful life and for this reason, you will always be the best investment you ever make and the best work you will ever do. Start working on your relationship with yourself and you will see miracles happening in your life.

Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and visit my website for more info!


Aura E. Martinez, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine

Aura E. Martinez is a Self-Discovery and Empowerment Coach helping women gain total clarity in their purpose so that they can wake up to a daily life of fulfillment and certainty. As a person who has traveled the world as a Flight Attendant, the opportunity has helped her learn and see so much and she discovered the most fabulous place for us all to see that is truly the key to greater well-being and she shared that with others worldwide.

She is also the founder of Live to the Max™/Viva al máximo™, author of the book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve and the journal Creating a Lifetime of Wellness Journal: Your Personal Coach to the Different Areas of Your Life. The book has been seen in Spirituality & Health magazine, Psychology Today, and Natural Awakenings NYC edition magazine.



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