How Women Can Rebuild Self-Trust and Redefine Success – An Interview with Yolan Bedasse
Yolan is a writer and coach for high-achieving women who are ready for more than titles. After a decade in corporate, she now guides women through career transitions, identity shifts, and emotional sustainability with clarity and care. Through coaching containers and writing spaces, she invites readers into a life that invites an exhale you didn’t know you were holding. One shaped by resonance and honest reflection.
Yolan Bedasse, Writer and Coach
What first inspired you to create spaces for women navigating the quiet in-between seasons of life?
My own experience. My story is a common one. I was taught growing up to follow the “sensible” path. Go to school, get good grades, pick the right college, pick the “right” degree, land the internship, and land the job. Why? Because this path would pay off not only financially but in all aspects of my life.
I’d get my degree, set up my career, and along the way, I’d build lifelong friendships like they do on sitcoms, meet someone, fall in love, and have children.
But when I’d walked that path for almost fifteen years and was still waiting for things to pan out, eventually I started to question what the point of “sensible” was. And then the unraveling of what I’d known started.
I had family and friends I could confide in, but they couldn’t relate to what I was going through. Then there were the co-workers who could relate, but confiding in them was tricky. I found that out the hard way.
So, I created coaching and writing spaces where those with similar experiences could come in, be seen, and exhale.
What patterns do you see in women who look successful on paper but feel disconnected from themselves?
I want to first acknowledge that no two paths and stories are the same. It’s less about patterns and behaviors and more about the belief system.
The thing we all have in common is the idea of success that’s instilled in us from a young age. When you’re taught to follow paths without questioning them, you will wake up one day questioning whether what you worked so hard for is still what you want.
The bigger question is, “Was it ever what you wanted, or were you told to want it?” And this almost always leads to the ultimate question: “Do I trust myself to choose a different path?”
Because when you realize everything has worked out so far because you followed a playbook and you’ve never actually bet on yourself, that’s the disconnect and where the rebuilding starts.
How has your time in corporate shaped the way you now coach women through identity shifts and reinvention?
It gave me a level of grace and understanding that I could’ve only developed through first-hand experience.
Corporate is its own beast, and while your loved ones can always be empathetic and supportive, it can also be difficult for them to understand why you can’t just go to Human Resources (HR) when “your well-liked boss is disrespectful” or why you “shouldn’t let things bother you and just do your job.”
Having a coach who understands the climate you must exist in daily can be a game changer.
As coaches, we’re trained to be able to coach folks on anything, whether or not it’s been our lived experience, and to be mindful of our own biases. But it’s my firm belief that the magic of coaching is not “advice.” It’s being seen, heard, and understood.
And sometimes, those who see you best are those who have walked in your shoes.
Why do you think emotional sustainability is still largely missing from conversations about success and personal growth?
The current conversations around success and personal growth are still rooted in the collective, not the individual.
Most of us were never seriously asked, “What do you want to do with your life?” But I’m willing to bet a lot of us were handed a list of the things we “should” want, which were largely based on paths that led to others’ success.
If the foundation of our drive for success is always rooted in the collective, how can it be personal? From this standpoint, productivity will always be the priority, and an individual’s emotional sustainability becomes optional.
I believe that’s why a lot of successful, high-achieving women struggle to walk away from what looks good on paper. We were taught that accolades equal happiness, and so we spend our lives chasing them.
And when we finally catch them? There’s a disconnect.
Because it was never about us as individuals. It’s always been about maintaining the definition of success we never chose.
What has the coaching industry misunderstood about ambition, achievement, and well-being?
I don’t think the coaching industry misunderstands ambition, achievement, or well-being as much as it places a lot of emphasis on the outcome versus the individual. We’re trained to focus on goals such as SMART goals, session outcomes, and measurable progress, which absolutely have their place. But in that focus, we can miss the power of clients simply being seen and heard.
Sometimes an individual needs more time in the in-between phase to feel safe enough to figure out their next step. Some individuals benefit from quickly moving to outcomes. But I find that, for a lot of high-functioning women who are often the emotional anchors for those around them, having a safe space to breathe and regroup is the most powerful part of the coaching experience. Cultivating that space is an honor for me.
Also, I want to be clear here: coaching is not therapy, and having both in your toolkit is necessary. But it’s amazing how easy the goals conversation becomes once that trust is built, once someone feels understood without added explanation. They’re no longer defining the outcomes from a place of requirement but from their own truth.
How does your Soft & Sensible Method™ help women make decisions when they no longer know what they want next?
This method was accidentally born out of my own experience of walking away from a six-figure job. Acknowledge the Ache. Analyze the fear. Give yourself grace to reset. Then You Plan. Then comes the shift.
This is structured with the understanding that before you can even think about coming up with a strategy for your next step, you need to feel safe enough to do so. Strategy comes from clarity, and clarity requires safety.
It slows you down. It forces you to figure out what’s not working anymore, why you’re feeling stuck, and gives you permission to rest and pivot. I help women give themselves permission to pause, regroup, and move forward at their own pace, on their terms.
This method takes the pressure off immediately going into action mode. If you’re in your own season of figuring out your next step and want to feel less alone, I write about this and my own experiences on my Substack here. Stop by and say hi 😊. And, of course, when you’re looking for one-on-one support, that’s exactly what my Soft & Sensible sessions are for. You can learn more here.
What is one practice you recommend to someone who feels stuck between who they were and who they are becoming?
Surrender to the season and give yourself some grace. One of the most common questions I got from friends and family when I left my job was, “What’s next?” The pressure of that question felt like someone was standing on my chest, and it grew into frustration. “Why can’t I figure it out?” And the simple answer is that some seasons are for rest.
One small practice that has helped me is to write down one thing you can do for yourself at the start of each day and, at the end of the day, one thing you did or said that made you feel more like yourself.
Your work often says this is not about fixing but remembering; what does remembering look like in practice?
Daily reminders of positive self-talk and grace. Fixing immediately goes to controlling outcomes. Remembering is reminding yourself daily that nothing is black and white. The only constant is change. This is our first time here; we’ve never lived this life before. Remind yourself that you’re doing the best you can with what you have in this moment.
Also, please know you are not a walking self-help affirmation book. You will have moments where you feel zen and in control and crash-out moments when all you can do is look up and go, “What the hell?” Both are valid and necessary.
What is the most important thing you hope women learn about themselves during periods of uncertainty?
Your self-trust muscles will be stretched and tested. As women, a lot of us followed the “good girl” rules. And these rules came with an instruction manual, ratings, and well-used paths as “shining” examples.
Finding yourself in uncertainty means you’ve found yourself on a path you weren’t prepared for. But please know uncertainty doesn’t mean “bad”; it’s unfamiliar. Trust yourself to walk the path, to do the best you can, and understand that mistakes will be made and consequences will follow, but with surrender and a little grace, you’ll be okay.
