How to Support Survivors of Female Genital Mutilation with Care and Respect
Written by Howaida Abdalla, Life Coach
Howaida Abdalla is a survivor of Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) and a life coach who has experience when it comes to trauma that a survivor goes through and the journey it takes to heal. She helps women to reconnect and love themselves again. She is a founder of "The Growth Hub Coaching and "Women Empowerment edition: Impact for change" Podcast.
Supporting survivors of female genital mutilation (FGM) requires more than awareness. It calls for listening, patience, cultural humility, and long-term commitment to safety and dignity. Survivors often live with physical, emotional, relational, and social impacts that may remain invisible to others. Real support begins when we understand that healing is not linear and that every survivor’s journey is different.
This article offers guidance for individuals, services, and communities who want to respond with care, respect, and effectiveness.
1. Start With Belief and Respect
One of the most powerful things you can do is believe survivors when they speak about their experiences. Many survivors grew up in environments where silence was expected. Some were told the practice was normal, necessary, or loving. Others were never given language to describe what happened to them.
Support begins with:
listening without judgment
avoiding shock or intrusive questions
respecting the survivor’s pace
allowing them to choose what they share
Instead of asking “Why didn’t anyone stop it?”, try, “Thank you for trusting me with this.” Belief restores dignity. Respect restores safety.
2. Understand That FGM Affects More Than the Body
FGM is not only a physical experience. It can affect:
body awareness
trust in healthcare systems
relationships and intimacy
identity and belonging
confidence and voice
emotional regulation
connection to culture or family
Some survivors may live with chronic pain or medical complications. Others may mainly carry emotional or relational impacts. Many carry both. Support means recognizing the whole person, not only the procedure.
3. Avoid Assumptions About Culture or Choice
FGM is often misunderstood as something survivors “accepted” or “agreed to,” when in reality most experienced it as children without informed consent. Supportive responses avoid blaming families, stereotyping communities, or treating survivors as cultural symbols instead of individuals. Instead, they stay curious, remain respectful, and recognize complexity. Many survivors hold love for their families while also holding pain from what happened, and both experiences can exist at the same time.
4. Create Safe Spaces in Healthcare
Healthcare can feel frightening for survivors, especially if previous experiences involved silence, confusion, or lack of understanding.
Professionals can support survivors by:
asking permission before examinations
explaining procedures clearly
offering trauma informed care
avoiding judgmental language
allowing extra time when needed
Small actions can make a large difference. A survivor who feels safe in one appointment is more likely to return for future care. Safety builds trust. Trust supports healing.
5. Support Emotional Healing Without Pressure
Some survivors speak openly about their experiences, while others need years before finding words, and some never want to discuss details at all. All responses are valid. Support means not forcing disclosure, not rushing healing timelines, not expecting survivors to educate others, and recognizing silence as a coping strategy rather than weakness. Healing often happens slowly and quietly, and sometimes the most supportive presence is simply consistency.
6. Recognize the Impact on Relationships and Intimacy
FGM can influence how survivors experience closeness, trust, and connection in adulthood. Support may involve encouraging access to trauma-informed therapy, respecting boundaries, understanding that intimacy may feel complicated, and allowing survivors control over conversations about their bodies. Partners, especially, play an important role by responding with patience rather than expectation. Feeling safe in relationships can be deeply healing.
7. Support Survivors Without Making Them Spokespeople
Some survivors become advocates, while others do not, and both choices deserve respect. Support does not mean expecting survivors to tell their story publicly, educate communities, represent all survivors, or repeatedly explain cultural contexts. Advocacy should always be voluntary, not assumed. Survivors deserve space to simply live their lives.
8. Strengthen Community Awareness Without Stigma
Communities play a powerful role in prevention and healing. Supportive community action includes creating safe conversations about bodies and wellbeing, supporting parents with accurate information, working with faith and cultural leaders, encouraging intergenerational dialogue, and protecting girls without shaming families. Change happens most effectively when communities are included, not judged. Compassion creates safer futures.
9. Encourage Access to Specialist Support
Survivors may benefit from support such as specialist medical care, counselling or therapy, peer support groups, safeguarding advice when needed, and culturally informed services. Access improves when professionals clearly explain options and respect survivor choice. Support is strongest when survivors stay in control of decisions affecting their bodies.
10. Remember That Healing Is Possible
Survivors are often described only through trauma, but they are also leaders, parents, professionals, artists, caregivers, advocates, and community builders.
Support means recognizing strength as well as pain. Healing does not mean forgetting. Healing means reclaiming voice, safety, and self connection. And sometimes the most powerful message a survivor can hear is, You are not alone. Your story matters. Your future is yours.
Read more from Howaida Abdalla
Howaida Abdalla, Life Coach
Howaida Abdalla is a life coach who helps women (survivors) of Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) to reconnect & love themselves again. She was seven years old when the FGM procedure was done on her, which left her lost and disconnected not only from people, but also from herself.
She has since dedicated her life to helping other survivors reconnect and love themselves. She is a founder of "The Growth Hub Coaching," where she helps & coaches survivors. Her Mission: To hep, To inspire & To empower.
