How To Overcome Your Fears
- Jul 8, 2024
- 4 min read
Ken Keis, Ph.D., is a leading global authority on behavioral (personality) assessment strategies and an expert in leadership, purpose, and wellness. He is the President and CEO of Consulting Resource Group International, Inc. (CRG) which has served thousands of organizations worldwide.
Do you find yourself living in fear, or do you embrace the opportunities that come your way? Consider what fear has cost you in terms of lost productivity, peace of mind, and personal enjoyment.
2020 was a year that seemed to engulf the world in fear. Rarely has a global event with over a 99% survival rate caused so much anxiety. Many people were so preoccupied with the fear of death that they stopped truly living. Sadly, even today, many continue to live in fear despite the diminishing reasons to be afraid.
This self-perpetuating cycle of fear feeds upon itself. It occupies our emotional space and clouds our judgment, often preventing us from fulfilling our responsibilities and enjoying life to the fullest.
Fear is a powerful force that can range from mild unease to paralyzing terror, halting individuals from taking necessary actions and moving forward in life.
One insightful acronym for fear is False Evidence Appearing Real. Regardless of the actual facts, we allow situations to grow in our minds until they manifest as fear.
While fear is a universal human experience, its impact can vary widely. Extreme sports enthusiasts, for example, thrive on the rush of fear-induced adrenaline. However, in our daily lives, living in constant fear can severely hinder our ability to make clear decisions and fully appreciate life’s pleasures.
The good news about fear is that it resides solely within our minds. Studies show that an estimated 85% of our feared outcomes never actually come to pass. Thus, much of our emotional energy is wasted on worrying about scenarios that are unlikely to materialize.
Consider some common worries that often prove unfounded
What if I lose my job?
Will I ever find another job?
I'll never find someone as good as her for that position.
I might fail my exam if I...
What if my child gets involved with drugs?
I could die of... if I don't...
I might miss my flight because...
Will anyone ever like me if...
What will others think if...
Take a moment now to reflect on the worries that occupied your mind over the past week. How did they make you feel?
Admittedly, some fears are legitimate, based on real circumstances. Yet, even in those cases, studies indicate that people consumed by their fears are more likely to see their worst fears realized.
Living in constant fear comes at a high cost. It’s difficult, if not impossible, to focus on two things simultaneously. When fear dominates our thoughts, we lose sight of potential solutions. How can we embrace success, enjoyment, and fulfillment when anxiety and doubt cloud our minds?
Imagine this scenario: You're on the golf course, aiming for the green with your final iron shot. To the left is the next fairway, straight ahead is the green, and to the right is a water hazard. Now, try not to think about the water hazard as you take your shot. Focus solely on hitting the green, ignoring the water entirely.
As simple as this example may be, it illustrates the challenge: once fear grips our minds, it's nearly impossible to ignore. By diverting our focus from the intended goal (the green), we diminish our chances of success.
Life often mirrors our focus. Most of us prefer to avoid our worst fears, which means we must redirect our focus towards what we desire, rather than dwelling on what we fear.
One effective strategy is to borrow confidence and a positive attitude from areas of our lives where fear plays a minimal role. For instance, if you can confidently speak in front of thousands, transfer that confidence to other areas, such as confronting fears in your personal or professional life.
One of the greatest sources of fear is the unknown. To assist you on your journey of self-discovery, I recommend our e-course, The Quest For Purpose, a transformative learning experience designed to instill confidence and clarity.
Follow these action steps to overcome your fears and reclaim your life
Identify your fears. Reflect on what has worried you recently.
Assess the costs of your fears in terms of missed opportunities and personal fulfillment.
Evaluate how many of your fears have actually materialized versus how many were needless worries. (Note: Worry or fear has little or no beneficial value. In other words how does worrying contribute to our lives – it does not!)
Recognize that the majority of our fears do not come to pass.
Envision the benefits of reducing your fears in terms of personal growth and peace of mind.
Understand that fear resides in your mind and you have the power to shift your focus.
Gain confidence by knowing yourself and your aspirations. Consider enrolling in The Quest For Purpose e-course to diminish fear and enhance clarity.
Right now, choose to focus on a positive outcome rather than letting fear dominate your thoughts.
Imagine pursuing activities without the fear of failure. List these activities now.
Acknowledge that fear is a natural emotion, but strive not to let it dictate your life. Controlled fear can heighten awareness and motivation; harness this energy.
Whether you decide to confront your fears or release them, savor the newfound freedom and joy in fear-free moments.
Until next time, keep Living On Purpose!
Read more Dr. Ken Keis
Dr. Ken Keis, Expert Leadership, Wellness, Personality, Purpose
Ken Keis, Ph.D., is a leading global authority on behavioral (personality) assessment strategies and an expert in leadership, purpose, and wellness. He is the President and CEO of Consulting Resource Group International, Inc. (CRG) which has served thousands of organizations worldwide. With over 4 million words of content authored, including 4 books and a dozen assessments, Dr. Keis is also a respected author, speaker, trainer, and media guest His latest books include: Why Aren't You More Like Me?, Deliberate Leadership, and The Quest For Purpose. An engaging public speaker, Dr. Keis has conducted over 3,000 presentations and 10,000 hours of coaching and consulting.
