How To Overcome The Fear Of Speaking English When You Are Too Afraid To Say Anything

Written by: Sarah Henderson-Sharon, Executive Contributor

Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.

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I have been writing about research I have been doing into the challenges that non-native speakers face when they speak or otherwise use their foreign language. In this article, I am going to share the finding that makes me feel most sad; when highly competent foreign language speakers are so afraid of speaking their foreign language that they cannot bring themselves to say anything at all.

When we are afraid of something, it can be very tempting to avoid it but doing this means that we never overcome our fear. Here’s an example from my own life. I learnt to drive when I was seventeen and passed my test first time. For several years, I drove around quite happily (although possibly slightly recklessly!) but I stopped needing to drive once I moved to London and wasn’t behind the wheel for about twenty years.

I started re-learning how to drive almost three years ago. I was truly terrified. It took months before I had the confidence to go out on my own or to drive down a motorway. Over time, however, my confidence grew until I was starting to enjoy the experience and even think about owning a car one day.

Then, a couple of months ago, I was reversing out of my sister’s driveway. My partner was in the car and started giving me instructions. Unfortunately, I find my partner’s style of instruction-giving very difficult to process and we ended up having a huge argument that ended in lots of slammed doors and swearing at each other. It wasn’t a pretty sight. This fight dented my confidence so much that I told myself I couldn’t drive and that I wasn’t capable of learning to do so. I definitely wasn’t exhibiting a growth mindset at this point! For several weeks, my inner dialogue around driving was very negative, and I internally repeated that I wasn’t capable of driving a car and that driving was a very frightening thing. These thoughts created so much fear that I literally couldn’t bring myself to drive the car again. After a while, I realised that these negative, fearful thoughts had actually changed the way I felt about driving. I had gone from being reasonably confident to being very afraid, all because of the way I was thinking! Once I realised this, I knew I had to do something, otherwise I might never be able to drive. I started going out for little drives again and soon enough, I had regained my confidence. My point here is that to a large degree, our thoughts influence our feelings. In turn, our feelings influence our actions which then affect our outcomes. By telling myself how awful my driving was and how useless I was, I created frightened feelings which stopped me from taking any action. Had I continued with these thoughts, I might not have got back behind the wheel of the car!

If you constantly tell yourself that your speaking is awful, that no-one will understand you and people will laugh at you, you will be creating some quite unpleasant feelings inside. And if, like me, you tend to avoid difficult situations rather than face up to them, you may try and avoid speaking English, meaning that you are very unlikely to improve! This then becomes a vicious circle from which it is very hard to escape. Of course, there are differences between driving a car and speaking a foreign language. While you are highly unlikely to injure someone by using the wrong tense, the pressure of a performance situation, a situation where we need to use a foreign language in what you see as a stressful environment, can cause extreme negative feelings in the speaker to the point that they do not wish to speak at all.

So, what can you do if you are this speaker and your fear is holding you back? Try working through this series of questions. Take your time with them, these questions should make you think and reflect on your situation and your responses to it.

1. Think of a situation when you feel too afraid to speak English. For example:

Speaking in the weekly team meeting

2. What is it about this situation that causes you a problem? For example:

Worrying about being misunderstood

3. Look at this list of emotions. Which ones feel closest to how you feel in this situation?

anxious	hurt	afraid
depressed	angry	reluctant
guilty	jealous	embarrassed
ashamed	envious	​defensive

4. What behaviour do you use to cope with the problem? For example:

I don’t speak in the meeting and avoid looking at the other people

5. Now, take all of the ideas and turn them into a sentence. For example:

When I have to speak in the team meeting, I worry being misunderstood. I feel ashamed and to cope, I don’t say anything and don’t look at the other people.

6. Now, think of a feeling that would be more helpful to you than the one you currently experience. For example:

I want to feel concerned about my speaking rather than ashamed

7. Think of a behaviour that would be more positive for you than the one you currently do. For example: I want to work on my pronunciation so I improve rather than not speaking and avoiding the others

8. Now, take all of the ideas and turn them into another sentence, adding it onto your first one. For example:

When I have to speak in the team meeting, I worry being misunderstood. I feel ashamed and to cope, I don’t say anything and don’t look at the other people. I want to feel concerned about my speaking rather than ashamed and I want to work on my pronunciation so I improve rather than not speaking and avoiding the others

Now you have a goal for changing your negative feeling and behaviour. Think of three specific actions you can take to start moving towards this goal. For example:

1. I will work with a pronunciation teacher once a week

2. I will dedicate twenty minutes a day to improving my pronunciation

3. I will find a speaking partner to practise with and will meet them every week.
   

Choose one of the actions and start to do something about it, right away! This way of tackling negative thoughts and their subsequent results comes from Rational Emotive Behavioural Therapy. It’s helpful because it allows you to explore your thoughts and feelings, and then supports you to choose better feelings and actions that you can take. In my experience, the simple act of taking action can often be enough to start reducing fear and anxiety.

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Read more from Sarah!

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Sarah Henderson-Sharon, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine

Sarah Henderson-Sharon is an expert in helping non-native English speakers overcome Second Language Anxiety: the fear, shame, and anxiety they experience when speaking English. A teacher with 17 years of experience, Sarah became aware of the damaging impact of Second Language Anxiety four years ago. Since then, Sarah has dedicated herself to helping her clients understand and move beyond their fears so that they can use English with confidence. She is the founder of Think Positive English where she offers 1-2-1 programs and a community speaking club empowering members to improve their spoken English.