How To Overcome The Fear Of Putting Yourself Out There And Being Seen By Others Online

Written by: Brooke Summer Adams, Senior Level Executive Contributor

Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.

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One of the most common obstacles faced by first-time online entrepreneurs is the fear that couples up with putting yourself out there and being seen by others online.

Brooke Summer Adams – an Internationally Accredited Transformation Coach, NLP Master Practitioner, International Speaker, Trainer and Writer and Yahoo Finances’ Top 10 Female Life Coach of 2021 works closely with first-time coaches to help them become the coach within them who has what it takes to create their vision. She is here with us today to share the top-tips she uses with her 1-2-1 clients to help them overcome the fear of being seen, put themselves out there and take the action they need to take to make their visions their realities.

1. Understand where this fear comes from

It’s important first to understand why we experience fear when it comes to putting ourselves out there and being seen by others online.

If you imagine a world where you were the only person to exist. In this hypothetical reality, would putting yourself out there online scare you?

Chances are, you answered no to that question.

While it may seem like a silly question, it actually highlights something very important. It’s not the putting yourself online that scares you, but rather, the people who will see you online.

More accurately, it’s the potential for judgement, ridicule and rejection from others when they see you online that is creating this fear within you.

It may also be helpful to know that you’re not alone! Everyone at some point in their life has second guessed their own choices and decisions based on the potential reaction they may face from another. And there’s actual science to explain this!

Humans are hardwired to seek approval and avoid rejection. We are social creatures. If you look back over our evolution, the rate of our survival greatly depended upon the sizes of our tribes! If you were rejected by the tribe, you’d be left on your own, and you’d probably die. Our survival literally depended upon not getting rejected by other people.

Speed forward to the year 2022, this no longer applies. However, our evolution has not yet caught up ‒ we are still hardwired to seek approval and avoid rejection. This alone underpins so many fears and anxieties that we as a society face in the modern world (such as a fear of being seen, a fear of public speaking and so on).

Sometimes simply understanding that your response to the potential for rejection is natural, and outdated, can alleviate the anxiety we feel about this possibility.

Know that no matter what other people may think when they see you, you’re going to be fine.

2. Get clear on your intentions for being seen

What are your reasons for showing up online?

Do you have a message to share?

Impact you want to make?

A business you want to create?

Whatever your reason, you’ve realised that showing up online is YOUR way to make your vision your reality.

Now here’s the thing.

The outcomes you’re fearing; the perceived potential for judgement, negative options, rejection or ridicule…

Do they actually have any effect on you making your vision your reality?

Is your business going to stop making money because your old school friends thought your latest Instagram post was cringey?

Is your message going to stop being heard by the people who need to hear it just because your ex thinks what you’re doing is a waste of time?

When you properly think about it, the things you’re fearing are irrelevant.

Whether they do or don’t happen, they won’t stop you from making your vision your reality.

So what’s the point in allowing them to stop you from starting?

3. Put the fear of being seen in perspective

Right now in this moment one of the scariest potentials you could be faced with is the idea of posting content of yourself or your ideas to the internet.

And right now, that may seem pretty scary.

But what scares you more?

The idea of showing up online?

Or the idea of knowing, only once it’s too late, that you never tried to make your dream life your reality because you were scared of making an Instagram post?

Because here’s the thing…

The dream you have in your head that won’t leave you alone can either be something you act on, or something you regret not acting on.

As much as acting on it may scare you, chances are the idea of knowing you’ll regret not acting on it will scare you more.

Put it in perspective. Showing up online may feel like this massive thing right now, but what’s far bigger and far more important is using your limited time to live in the way you actually want to.

4. Exposure

Feel the fear and do it anyway.

You won’t want to, but once you do, this will all become a whole load easier.

Chances are right now you’re identifying as someone who does NOT show up online.

Therefore the action of doing so feels uncomfortable. This is because it’s outside the realm of your perceived identity, it’s outside of your comfort zone.

But once you do it… you can no longer hold the identity of someone who doesn’t do it.

The moment you show up online, you become someone who shows up online.

Owning the identity of the person you want to become is made possible by doing the things they would do.

It will scare you, but if you do it, you’ll free yourself from that fear by means of exposure.

5. Get a coach

While reminding yourself of all these very true facts can be helpful, sometimes it’s just not enough.

Sometimes we need accountability to make sure we follow through on taking the action that scares us.

Sometimes we have deep-rooted beliefs underpinning our fears that require deeper identity work than simply using self-talk to pep yourself up.

This is where a coach comes in.

A good coach can not only help you to shift your identity and mindset to alleviate the fear, but will hold you accountable to taking the action that will mean you truly overcome it.

People can connect with me via Email, Facebook, Instagram, or my Website. Wherever you go, you’ll find helpful training and info on all things transformation. Read more from Brooke!

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Brooke Summer Adams, Senior Level Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Brooke Summer Adams is internationally accredited in Transformational Coaching, certified to a master-level in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), a graduate of Psychology with a 1st Class Honors Degree (BS.c), a Yahoo Finance Top 10 Female Life-Coach of 2021, a Brainz 500 Global Award Winner of 2021, a Workshop Facilitator at the worlds 1 Coaching Academy and an international Speaker, Trainer, and Writer.

After overcoming chronic stress, low self-esteem and body dysmorphia, Brooke was inspired to take to University to study Psychology, become an Internationally Accredited Transformation Coach and NLP Master Practitioner and set up her own online coaching business.

After several successful years in business transforming over 100 women into the best versions of themselves, being recognised as a Yahoo Finance Top 10 Female Life Coach and becoming an International Speaker and Trainer, Brooke then moved into the field of transforming first time coaches ‒ so they feel ready to transform others.

This experience, on top her qualifications, allows her to transform first time coaches into the version of them who has what it takes to create their vision, by helping them build unshakeable self belief and confidence, overcome fear and take aligned action.