How To Give Yourself The Love You Deserve
- Mar 11, 2024
- 5 min read
Written by: Tanya Tsikkos, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Fall in love with your authentic self, and realise your true worth and value. Encourage yourself with simple techniques that will serve you well and guide your heart.
You've probably heard the quote, 'To love others, you must first love yourself', as said by Leo Buscaglia.
Well, my friend, there is a lot of truth in this quote! Think about it for a moment. How can you really give yourself completely to another, and open your heart wide and give all the love you can, if you don't put all of that faith, love and trust in yourself first?!
To be truthfully and entirely you, and complete yourself as the unique individual that you are, it takes self-care, self-respect and self-love. This will always lead you to inner peace, acceptance and harmony, enabling you to create the home where love resides within, so that it can be authentically shared with others.
The most beautiful love affair you could ever have, believe it or not, is with your own self. Shock, horror! I envisage you recoiling in discomfort. Did she really say that?!, I hear you incredulously ask. As narcissistic as the connotation suggests, I don't mean that you should become vain, self-absorbed or self-centred. What I actually mean is that it's perfectly healthy and extremely important to practice in self-validation, self-belief and self-confidence, in order to feel your true worth and value, which in turn will give you the self-respect you deserve to have.
It's so easy to put ourselves down, to berate ourselves when things go wrong, to keep reminding ourselves of the bad things about ourselves. Let's not forget, at some point in our lives, these false thoughts and beliefs have been influenced by someone or something, and have been laying dormant, ready to thrash us when the going gets tough. And, remember that our minds believe whatever we tell them to be true.
I'm a prime example of a self-punishing individual, often telling myself that I'm not enough, believing the lies I tell myself based on someone else's viewpoint or opinion. But deep down, I know who I really am. I remember (every now and then) that I am a good person, who's kind and thoughtful with a big heart, who loves deeply and cares for others unconditionally.
We would all benefit greatly from digging deep into our souls, and bringing our core essence to the surface, to cleanse ourselves and heal our wounds. It's a way of repairing and renewing our true selves.
Here are a few useful suggestions on how to practice self-love, and how to never deny the world the pleasure of you
Recognise your value
Reminding yourself of the achievements you've attained, the goodness in yourself, and how you have touched others' lives, is key to realising your worth and value. We have all experienced our own triumphs and these need to be recognised-I'm not expecting you to scream it from the rooftops (although there's nothing wrong with that of course, if you are confident enough to do so), but I do find it to be very helpful when it comes to believing in yourself.
Remember who you are and what you bring to your sphere of life.
Encourage yourself daily
I have started a new regime where I take my 'little book of positivity' with me wherever I go. It's a pocket notebook that I have written little pieces of joy in, to give me daily encouragement when I need it the most.
Keep your own little notebook close to you daily, where you can jot in it all of the positive experiences you have, however big or small. When you find yourself in positive situations, or you come across people with good energy who have complimented or praised you with kindness, or maybe where you have done a good deed and brought a little sunshine into someone's day, make sure to quickly note it in your positivity book.
Use this and refer back to it on your low days, the days when you may be struggling to remember your worth and value. When you are emotionally beating yourself up, as we all tend to do from time to time, pause for a moment and take a little look at your notebook of positivity. Read a snippet of what you have written in it, and use it to cheer yourself on and pick yourself up.
Stop comparing
Comparing with others is the most natural thing we do. However, it steals our joy, and it's a never-ending spiral of toxic negativity that we can never escape.
How many times have you looked at others and wished you had what they had, without really knowing their circumstances, their backgrounds, or even if any of it is as real as it's painted out to be?! And, I can bet that it's made you feel like you're not good enough, that you're failing somehow and that you're not worthy. How very wrong you are!
Start noticing what you already have, who you are, what you do, what makes you the imperfectly perfect human that you are. Everyone has their flaws as well as their good points. Everyone has their successes and their setbacks. We should all embrace the beauty of our own lives and learn from the ugly obstacles that get in the way.
Find your 'why' and focus on what makes you feel good. What are you passionate about? What do you admire in yourself?
There's no one else like you-surely that's something to celebrate!
Spend quality time with yourself
Revisit past hobbies/interests and get to know yourself again. Fall in love with your qualities, talents and strengths. Show yourself the respect you deserve and spend time nurturing your mind, body and soul.
Find the things that keep you calm, happy and balanced. Use those things to make you feel good about yourself. Make sure to regularly check in with yourself to reflect on your emotions and how they are serving you best.
Let go of toxicity
Toxic energy will only suppress your authentic self from giving itself the love it deserves. Let go of the things and the people that no longer serve you. Surround yourself with the people and the things that will celebrate you entirely.
There may be the odd few toxicities that you find not so easy to let go of completely, but you may still benefit from reducing the amount of time you spend on them. This works just as well as removing them from your life, because you'll quickly find that you'll be respecting yourself enough to understand what you will tolerate and what you won't.
You are in control of how much love you give yourself, and how much you'll allow others to take from you.
Now is the time to embrace, accept, and cherish everything about your wonderful self. Let your essence shine the truest beauty ever to behold. Always be real. Always be true. Fill your cup with goodness, and let it guide you to self-encouragement, self-respect, and self-love!
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Tanya Tsikkos, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Tanya Tsikkos is an innovative jewellery designer who promotes mental health and wellbeing. COVID-19 left her with emotional challenges, and she found a way to cope and to improve her mental health with her jewellery creations and empowering messages. She has since dedicated her life to helping others to always feel good and empowered . She is the CEO of EntityUK, an online fashion jewellery company, that combines jewellery with empowerment in each design. Her mission: To inspire, uplift and empower all, to live their best lives, with confidence and style!
