top of page

How To Get You Out Of Your Victim Mentality

Sep 3, 2024
3 min read

Maria Mulone is a Certified Life Coach and Registered Hypnotherapist. Her focus is to guide individuals towards transformative growth and helping them discovering their own potential.

Executive Contributor Maria Mulone

We can all agree that we will experience good and bad things in life. This is part of being human and of the learning process.


A woman sitting down in despair

Without knowing what is and feels good to us we wouldn’t be able to recognise if something is bad or feels bad to us (generally speaking).


Some people are convinced that they are unlucky in life, that bad things always happen to them, and they might say there is a curse on them. These people are playing the Victim in their life.


How to recognise a victim


  • When something bad happens or receiving bad news they start their sentence with “I knew it was going to happen…”, “Of course it was going to happen to me…”;

  • Describing their past as terrible/horrible, “This has been a terrible year…”, “I have always had a horrible life…”;

  • Taking for granted good things that happen to them. The victim doesn’t get too excited because good things won’t keep happening and stay in their “victim reality”;

  • Blaming the external world for their misery;

  • Feeling powerless as they have no control over it;

  • Putting other people down when they are excited about something, often using the excuse of being Realistic and don’t want others to get their hopes up;

  • Sometimes, they might be excited about other people's good news and they think this will never happen to them because they are “obviously” cursed in life;

  • Dramatize insignificant events;

  • Justifying their behaviour by the fact they have experienced traumas;


If you are a victim reading this, or if you know someone who is exactly like this, I am here to tell you that being a victim is an illusion and there’s no such thing!


Nobody is destined to be unlucky and experiencing only negative things, it is all created by the story you tell yourself!


Below, I want to give you 5 simple steps to get you out from your victim mentality.


How to get out of the victim mentality?


  1. Get into the habit of writing a journal at the end of each day with 3 good things that happened to you.

  2. When you wake up in the morning write down in your journal at least 5 things you are grateful for in your life, the more the better.

  3. When you catch your mind thinking about how unlucky you are, consciously stop it and read the journal or think about something good that happened in your life.

  4. Stop blaming anybody and accept that things sometimes go wrong and sometimes go right (yes even for you).

  5. If you have traumas that need to be addressed, going to therapy will help not only to heal but also to release all the frustration.


Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info!

Read more from Maria Mulone

Maria Mulone, Life Coach & Hypnotherapy

Maria is a Life Coach and Hypnotherapist, she thrives by helping people boosting their self-esteem and unleashing their inner power, helping them achieving their goals. She always felt the urge of helping others and discovered throughout her life that the only way to build a beautiful life start with self-love.

 
 

This article is published in collaboration with Brainz Magazine’s network of global experts, carefully selected to share real, valuable insights.

Article Image

How to Own the Room Before You Say a Single Word

Here's an uncomfortable truth for anyone who's ever rehearsed an opening line in the mirror: by the time you actually say it, the room may have already decided how it feels about you. Research into...

Article Image

How Your Lymphatic System Keeps You Radiant and Full of Life

There is a river inside you that most people have never heard of. It runs through every part of your body. It carries away what you no longer need. It guards you, cleanses you, and keeps you flowing

Article Image

Fear of Emotions and What if Feeling Was Never the Problem?

What if emotional freedom isn’t about feeling good all the time, but about no longer being afraid of what you feel? Rob Brooke explores why we learn to suppress, avoid and sometimes even fear our...

Article Image

When Working Harder Stops Making Us More Productive

You're brilliant at getting things done, but these days, you never seem to get to the work you were actually promoted for: the strategy side of the role and developing your team. You work long days...

Article Image

Counted, but Not Yet Welcome

In twenty-five years of working with families across six continents, I have been invited into thousands of homes. And in almost every country, in almost every culture, I have met the same child. Not...

Article Image

Why Food Doesn’t Taste the Same Anymore and What to Do About It

“Everything just tastes flat.” If you’re over 50, you may have said this without giving it much thought. The tomatoes aren’t as sweet as they used to be, the soup needs more salt, and the dinner you...

How to Own the Room Before You Say a Single Word

How Your Lymphatic System Keeps You Radiant and Full of Life

Fear of Emotions and What if Feeling Was Never the Problem?

When Working Harder Stops Making Us More Productive

Counted, but Not Yet Welcome

Why Food Doesn’t Taste the Same Anymore and What to Do About It

Should We Fear the Rise of AI?

The Power of Humanity and Building a Better Future Together

What Perimenopause Reveals That Hormones Alone Can’t Explain

bottom of page