Written by: Tia Danyette, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
The choice and pursuit of a career requires perseverance, passion and much sacrifice. What happens when you find yourself in a place of dread and remorse regarding the choice you’ve made? For most, your initial desire was accurate. Is it possible you may have placed your career on a pedestal that overshadows other passions and callings? The honest approach may help you identify your true values to restore balance in your life and the love you once had for your career.
The moment we all dread
It’s happened. You’ve officially declared war against an opportunity you once loved. You never thought the day would come. What day, you ask? The day when you dread waking up in the morning, knowing you have to head into the office… the day another task being placed on your desk just absolutely ruins your day… the day your pager goes off and you cringe at the sound, far from ready to rush to answer the call like you once used to… the day a client calls and during the conversation, your annoyance is almost palpable.
This happens to many of us. The question is, “How?” Most of us followed passions that were present in us as children. We studied our potential careers, thinking no other would bring us the satisfaction we desired. We went to school, sacrificing time in our early years with friends and social opportunities. Some of us sacrificed relationships. Sacrificed money. When we started, we dived in with awe and wonder, appreciating every moment; thankful for getting the chance to do what we love. Then, slowly, there was a shift…
Falling out of love with your career is commonplace nowadays. There are myriad reasons why, and although many of them may be similar when we talk to each other, the psychological implications are always different because they are based on our individuality.
I thought this was happening to me. I finished my training and started my first job as a physician and it seemed very different from what I had originally imagined it to be. In many ways, I felt guilty. Having trained at an academic medical institution, there was a strong expectation to continue training to specialize even further… and I didn’t want to. I went through the culture shock of transitioning from an academic facility to one that was community-based. My colleagues weren’t as happy as they’d appeared in the interview. Everyone was complaining —from the physicians to the nurses to the administrative staff. This was not what I had imagined at all! This was not the beautiful, life-changing, soul-fulfilling career I had dreamed of. This was… a job (Ugh!)
Soul-searching gone wrong??
So I started to do some soul-searching. This is something I’m pretty good at. I love to be introspective (I’m a “What’s the meaning of life?” kind of chick) and so I live my life in this way. I initially couldn’t find any answers because I didn’t know what else I would do. Being a physician was supposed to be my All in All. So I did what I do best… I went back to school.
I decided to get my MBA this time because I knew I needed a degree that would give me the authority to think and function outside of the box. I was, obviously, not ready to think outside of the box at the time, though, because my first thought was, “Great! I can use this degree in my medical career and, perhaps, land a position in Administration.” (Eerie, suspenseful music plays in the background.)
That’s exactly what I manifested. It was almost instant. Before I entered my MBA program’s first year my job had offered me a position as a medical director of my current program. I felt like I was finally on track! And then… I hated it.
I started to wonder, “Did I choose the wrong career path?”
Let’s be honest
For the longest time, I thought I had. After mustering the strength and courage to step down from that position (it was painful, y’all), I was left feeling as if I was in the wrong lane and had made the wrong choice. That was until I decided to do something that changed the game, entirely. I decided to fully and completely Be Me.
I became honest with myself: Yes, I love being a physician for its honorable and altruistic nature. I love how the position stimulates me mentally while allowing me to express my compassionate side. I love knowing I achieved a high-earning career and being in the top one percent of intellectuals. I love helping people, and being a physician allows me to express some of the best parts of my character all in one place. Yet, I do not have the desire to specialize my skills into the most minuscule subset… and I don’t need to work at a top-producing academic center to feel fulfilled with my career choice. I need my free time to do the social activities I love and to spend time with family to be happy with my life. I do not want to bring work home, constantly… and I also want to do something that allows me to express a more creative and spiritual side, which my career as a physician doesn’t necessarily allow me to do in the way I would like to… and although I love being a physician, I have a strong desire to work more within the framework of my psychology degree (which I put on hold to pursue medicine).
I call this, the honest approach, and I just walked you through it. It’s simple. Start being honest about what you want in life and pull back the layers of the expectations, and social and professional norms you have applied to yourself—because that is what’s weighing you down. Using this approach may help you to identify other opportunities outside of your current career that could take some of the pressure off a position that, honestly, can only do so much to fulfill you.
Here are 6 questions to ask yourself to get started
What aspects of my career do I still love? (Yes, salary can be one of them! We’re being honest, remember?)
Am I trying to fit myself into spaces I don’t want to be in but feel like it is expected of me?
If I could perform my current job in a way that made me the happiest with no judgment, what would that look like?
What 3 aspects of my job do I dislike the most, and, what does that say about me, as a person (i.e., what does this say about what I need to feel happy and at peace)?
What things have I stopped doing that I used to love because I put tasks from my job in their place?
How can I focus more on what I love about my career while simultaneously taking small steps to reincorporate other things I used to love to do with passion back into my life?
It’s a wrap
If you are finding yourself in a funk regarding a career you once loved, use The Honest Approach to identify areas in your life that are likely not being expressed, or even worse, are being suppressed. Making room in your life for these essential aspects of your nature and character will remove some of the pressure off your career to ‘check all of your boxes’ and just may be the spark you need to fall in love with it all over again.
I am finding this approach to be exactly what I need to create a more fulfilling and exciting life and it has completely restored the love of my first love, practicing medicine. You can do this too… Grow With Me.
For more tips on how to heal and grow to manifest success, follow me on Facebook and Instagram for more info!
Tia Danyette, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Tia Danyette is an emerging leader with an innovative spin on Health and Wellness. Despite misfortune and trauma experienced growing up in the inner city of one of America’s poorest zip codes, she enacted her will to thrive, persevering nature and spiritual intuition to overcome challenges and achieve success. She now commits to helping others build the resilience to do the same. Her business, Tia Danyette Beauty, helps others heal and grow into their “Best Selves” to manifest success through an aesthetic focus on beauty and self-love in conjunction with mental and emotional healing to create a winning mindset. She holds a B.S. in Biology&Psychology, a Medical Degree specializing in Internal Medicine and an MBA
