How To Evolve The Giving And Receiving Paradigm
- Mar 30, 2023
- 4 min read
Updated: Mar 31, 2023
Written by: Jeffrey Scholl, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
For most of my life, I believed I had to give to receive. When I did a web search today on giving vs. receiving, every article I found on the first two pages most articles had one thing in common. I had to give in order to receive.
As I lay in bed this morning contemplating how to take my life to the next level, I heard the message that I had to learn to receive in order to give.
The most profound realization I had this morning was that for me to exhale, I had to inhale first.
I had never thought about it this way before and I have been practicing a conscious long, slow inhale and noticing how much it relaxes me. It made me realize how shallowly I often breathe, which creates more stress in my body whereas taking these deeper inhales has a calming effect. David Kegley wrote a great article about this.
This concept also fits with the way the Law of Attraction works. We must first BE the vibration (feeling) of what it is we're seeking to experience to have that experience. In other words, we have to receive the feeling of the experience to be inspired to DO the things which will result in HAVING the experience. I learned this creation paradigm from Conversations with God – Book 1; BE – DO – HAVE.
When I give more than I receive, it creates anxiety within me, just like when I breathe too shallowly.
If I am not centered and calm, my mind will often tell me I must give even more to find the calm and balance I'm seeking, and yet for us to find that calm, we must do exactly the opposite. We must receive it first.
An example would be if you are feeling undervalued in your job. If you allow your anxiety to guide your decisions, you may think you need to find a different job where they will value your contributions. When we feel anxious about our jobs, our minds will start piecing together all the evidence it can find to build the case to support this feeling. Our minds will tell us about the instabilities going on right now in the banking section, the tech layoffs, and then add any negative comments anyone has said to us…all to build the case to support the anxiety we already feel. Often, once our minds have collected enough evidence, the next thing we know, we are polishing our resumé and applying for new jobs, envisioning working for someone who will value us.
Note that last part…we start envisioning a new situation and we add positive feelings to this vision. We don't envision a new situation with the same sort of problems we are having at our current job. We are creating a new situation with these positive feelings.
Often, we may not get the job we want, however, because we then start feeling worried that we aren't qualified or there are better candidates, etc. We are now creating the opposite of what we want.
We have the power to create what we want, but we must receive the feeling of having the experience we seek first and then practice that feeling over and over.
If we do apply for a new job and we have been practicing the vision of working there and feeling valued in our position, we will take confidence into our interview process instead of anxiety. Having been on the other side of that hiring table, I am much more likely to hire the confident person, even if they are showing normal signs of nervousness.
We may also find, however, that if we practice the feeling of being valued, something may change in our current job.
This very thing happened to me a few years ago when I was unable to find any kind of connection with a VP to whom I reported. I started practicing the feeling of being understood and valued in my job and also started applying for jobs at other companies.
Within a month, they hired a mid-level manager to put between us who had a completely different communication style. This change breathed new life into how I felt which enabled me to stay another 2 years in the role. I was also practicing this feeling just over the last week and today found out about an award for work I did over the last few years. It almost feels like I jumped timelines somehow from what I was experiencing just a few weeks ago.
If you give too much of yourself, it can burn you out. Give yourself the gift of receiving first. Practice the feeling of what it is you desire as if you'd already received it. Then, just notice what changes either in your thinking, your situation, or both.
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Jeffrey Scholl, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Jeffrey Scholl formalized his studies through the Holistic Learning Centers’ Self-Mastery course. He graduated with a Ph.D. level certification in 2007 as a Certified Spiritual Life Coach. He graduated from Southern Illinois University, receiving a Bachelor of Science in Electronic Management and is an Honorably discharged U.S. Navy veteran. He has spent over 25 years combined in the telecommunications and defense industries, while continuing to coach, teach and write.
For more information on Jeff, please visit: https://www.apathtopeace.org/
