How To Create A New Story For Your Life
- Dec 2, 2021
- 5 min read
Written by: Calvin Niles, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Last week I walked past two young kids playing outside a school in a cool Autumn breeze. One said to the other, “watch this trick! Abracadabra…”. I stopped dead then and watched from a distance, reminiscing about my own childhood and, curiously, what that magic word Abracadabra really meant.
According to the Online Etymology Dictionary, Abracadabra was “a magical formula, 1690s, from Latin (Q. Serenus Sammonicus, 2c.), from Late Greek Abraxas, cabalistic or gnostic name for the supreme god, and thus a word of power.” Meanwhile, Israeli newspaper Haaretz carried an article which gives Magician Steve Cohen description that Abracadabra belongs to Aramaic, a Semitic language that shares many of the same grammar rules as Hebrew. 'Abra' is the Aramaic equivalent of the Hebrew 'avra,' meaning, 'I will create’ and 'cadabra' is the Aramaic equivalent of the Hebrew 'kedoobar,' meaning 'as was spoken.' Together the phrase means, 'I will create as has been spoken.’
I prefer Cohen’s explanation. In fact, I would rephrase it even more succinctly to “I speak into reality.” That is because as a storyteller, I know that language and storytelling are closely related and what we say repeatedly becomes the story of our lives. So as we bring the year to a close, when you reflect on this very swift year that was 2021, and you reflect and set new intentions, I invite you to consider, what story is it that you want to speak into reality for 2022 and beyond? Below I share three things you can consider.
1. Identify the current story
Often the stories running inside of us are tucked away in a dark corner of ours minds, like that dark part of your house that never gets sunlight. The problem with that is that we don’t always know it’s there. Yet somehow it manifests itself in our actions (or inactions) and does so repeatedly. You may find yourself often talking about the things that happened to you, some infraction that was done by your partner, your parents, your boss and so on. If you find yourself saying, “if only this had not happened to me I would have been able to only to do x, y or z, and in your reflection, you realise you are saying that often, then perhaps you are creating and compounding a story of victimhood. Stories of this nature are not constructive because they keep you stuck. Mindful meditation practice can help to illuminate your current stories and get them to loosen their grip on you.
2. Commit to change
Fitness App Strava has coined a new term: Quitter’s Day. Their data suggests that most people will quit their New Year’s Resolutions by Jan 19th. Despite the myriad reasons people failed in their quests, most would probably agree that they wanted to succeed. What I am saying is that your past inability to re-write your life story probably had less to do with your desire than you think. Not that desire isn’t important but that it was likely more to do with the habit pattern of your mind being difficult to break. As humans, we can become habitually attached to our stories, like prisoners attached to their cells. To help with this, the commitment to change should translate to small and consistent action. So for example, if you are doing meditation practice, do a little bit every day rather than trying to become a Zen Master overnight. Slowly this commitment will bear fruit and you will start to see more of the old stories that are hindering you while creating the psychological space you need to create meaningful change in your life.
3. Be the hero of your new story
Philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.” I want you to know that you are already that person. Your ultimate job is to see the potential already alive in you. See that potential day in and day out, and when you are in that state of mind, write that new story for your life – with you as the hero. When you imagine yourself self-actualised, what are you doing? Who are you with? How does it feel? You are the hero of your own story, and now it is time to realise it. Once you start to see this new story forming in your mind, you need to make it real. Often the story isn’t real until we can ground it in lived experience. I mean that we need the evidence and emotion to make it real. When Joseph Campbell wrote Hero with A Thousand Faces, explaining the Monomyth of The Hero’s Journey, he provided a useful template not just for the Hollywood screens and bestselling authors, but for you and me to see the story of our lives through a particular lens. When you do so mindfully, you can discover resources already within you that will support your new story. I call this Mindful Storytelling, and it is explained in greater depth in my podcast series called Mindful Conversations. To know that your new story can be realised, look at the hero’s journey of your life and develop those perspectives that will underpin your new story. There it will be incontrovertible that the fuel you need to support the fire birthing your new story is already alight inside of you. Let me leave you with the story of The Littlest God by Peter McNab, taken from “The Magic of Metaphor” by Nick Owen.
“It wasn’t long after the Gods had created humankind that they began to realise their mistake. The creatures they had created were so adept, so skilful, so full of curiosity and the spirit of inquiry that it was only a matter of time before they would start to challenge the Gods themselves for supremacy.
To ensure their pre-eminence the Gods held a large conference to discuss the issue. Gods were summoned from all over the known and unknown worlds. The debates were long, detailed and soul-searching.
All the Gods were very clear about one thing. The difference between them and mortals was the difference between the quality of the resources they had. While humans had their egos and were concerned with the external, material aspects of the world, the Gods had spirit, soul, and an understanding of the workings of the inner self.
The danger was that sooner or later the humans would want some of that too.
The Gods decided to hide their precious resources. The question was: where? This was the reason for the length and passion of the debates at the Great Conference of the Gods.
Some suggested hiding these resources at the top of the highest mountain. But it was realised that sooner or later humans would scale such a mountain.
And the deepest crater in the deepest ocean would be discovered.
And mines would be sunk into the earth.
And the most impenetrable jungles would give up their secrets.
And mechanical birds would explore the sky and space.
And the moon and the planets would become tourist destinations.
And even the wisest and most creative of the Gods fell silent as if every avenue had been explored and found wanting.
Until the Littlest God, who had been silent until now, spoke up.
“Why don’t we hide these resources inside each human? They’ll never think to look for them there.”
Want to create a new story for your life? Follow Calvin for more on stories, mindfulness and poetry on his YouTube channel, connect with him on Instagram or visit his website for more.
Calvin Niles, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Calvin Niles is a communication coach known as The Mindful Storyteller, making a positive impact on the lives of leaders, entrepreneurs, coaches, and wider society through his services and products. Through his experience in mindfulness, storytelling, coaching, and business, he empowers others to be authentic and impactful in their communication. Calvin has worked with hundreds of people from leaders in large corporates to SMEs, and from solopreneurs to some of the top 10 charities in the UK.
