How Radical Candor Can Blow Up Your Working Relationships In The Best Way
Written by: Tara Sutorius, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
I read a lot of leadership coaching books; it’s a mini addiction of mine. And there’s one that really caught my attention last year – “Radical Candor” by Kim Scott. This gem of a book centers on the importance of open and honest feedback and helps identify the different mindsets we can have around providing feedback.
Before unpacking what it means to be radically candid. Let’s define what it’s not. Most importantly, it’s not brutal honesty or tearing strips off a person because we think it might help them. It’s not tough love. Rather, radical candor means humbly sharing your opinions directly, rather than at the water cooler behind a person’s back.
Best-selling author and CEO coach, Kim Scott shares her proven feedback formula as a framework. Here’s how I’ve unpacked it as a coaching tool with a group of leaders:
Radical candor: clear and kind
Example: “Hey, I just want to let you know that you have a piece of spinach in your teeth. You might want to go take care of that.”
Obnoxious aggression: mocking and insincere
Example: “Hey everyone! Check it out! OMG Hey loser! Don’t you own floss!?!”
Manipulative insincerity: gossipy and secretive
Example: “Did you see that shrub dangling from her teeth? I wonder if someone will tell her.”
Ruinous empathy: Quiet, disengaged and not brave
Example: In this example, it’s not saying anything about the spinach in their teeth.
In reviewing this framework, ask yourself: Which radical candor quadrant do I go to first when I’m faced with an uncomfortable situation or challenging conversation? For me, I will openly share that I’m a recovering “ruinous empathy” turned “radical candor” thanks to lots of practice, failure, reset, and experimentation.
While being radically candid does not come easy, it’s proven to work. Over time, radical candor not only builds greater trust with team members, but it demonstrates when a leader truly wants what is best for an employee or colleague.
Here are 5 ways you can start practicing radical candor right away:
Be authentic and share your stories – the good, the bad, and the ugly
Ask for feedback often – show that you can handle feedback too
Offer guidance – give praise and constructive criticism with a growth mindset
Prioritize conversation – listen deeply, frame conversations and offer context
Practice ‒ acknowledge emotions, show compassion, and try to master your reactions to other people's emotions without personalizing or interpreting
While leaning into a leadership super-power like radical candor takes a ton of work, it is a game-changer for employees and leaders like. When a leader can challenge directly while showing they care personally it builds trusting relationships and, in turn, helps to unleash potential you never thought possible for both you and your employees. So why wait? Start today. Go forth and be radically candid!
Tara Sutorius, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
As a certified professional coach trained with Erickson International Coaching, Barrett Values Centre and Career Joy, as well as an accredited PCC-level coach with the International Coach Federation (ICF), Tara Sutorius specializes in helping individuals better understand their personal core values so they may live a more purpose-driven life in alignment with what is most important to them in their personal and professional lives.
Tara is also the Director of Corporate Communications at Export Development Canada (EDC) and the founder of “Tara Sutorius Coaching and Wellness” – a coaching company offering compassionate, transformational and values-based personal leadership, career and wellness coaching. Working alongside senior leaders in both the private and public sector for over 20 years, Tara has a keen sense of what is required to be able to connect with one’s personal and professional leadership mission in order to effect meaningful change over the long-term and build greater resiliency both at home and at work.
What Tara loves most about coaching is helping guide individuals through powerful questioning and transformational conversations. Her coaching style is compassionate, action-oriented, motivational, connected and intuitive. She can help guide you to better align your values with your dream job, clarify your passions, set clear goals and take greater ownership of your career and overall wellness.
