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How I Learned to Listen to my Negative Emotions

Written by: Mark D. Lakowske, Executive Contributor

Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.


Guess what?

I know I’m a hypnotist and mindset expert who helps people with those pesky overwhelming feelings. I know I’m “Mr. Positive" or "Bringer of Joy" — some would say. But, I have a secret for you. Even I get down from time to time. It’s true! Just like all humans, I feel a wide range of emotions — feeling overwhelmed & blue are among them once in a while. Recently, I was feeling that way.

So do you know what I did about it? I felt it! Crazy right? Yes, I allowed myself to feel those emotions. As we can all agree, we would much rather feel happy emotions, but it’s okay to feel the “bad” ones too.

The truth is they aren’t really bad. They aren’t really good either. Emotions are just emotions, and they are there to guide us like a compass towards learning and self-betterment.

I took a deep breath, held it, closed my eyes as I exhaled, and just sat in the emotions. I took a few more breaths and felt myself sinking deeper into them, and then I started asking questions:

“What am I feeling?” — I waited, breathed, and then a voice came from inside.

“Bad,” said my inner voice. “Bad, how? Be more specific.” I questioned.

“Bad, like feeling down, sad.” the voice answered. “And why are you sad?” I inquired further.

“I don’t feel loved, and I’m missing someone.” Came the voice from my heart.

“Oh, well, what do you need?” I asked, and the voice answered, “I need to feel loved, appreciated, connected. I know I really am loved, but I don’t feel it right now.”

I sat in that for a moment. I noticed I felt a bit better. Something within me felt heard, and I had indeed connected.

I continued to speak to my inner voice and asked, “How do you know you really are loved? — I just know. I know I am love and of love. I have family and friends who love me. I have a dog who loves me — valued relationships where there is love. I love myself. I have my career and hobbies I love that fills me with joy.” the voice replied.

I inquired, “How can you get what you want? What’s one way, something you can do right now, so you feel loved, appreciated & connected?”

Silence. I waited for the answer, I waited, and I waited quietly and patiently. Then all of a sudden, a picture appeared on the screen of my mind, right in the center of my five-head (I’m bald, I have too much head to just have a forehead!). The image was of a post I had made on social media about a big achievement I recently announced.

I went and logged onto my computer, pulled up the post, and noticed hundreds of likes & love hearts and even more comments from acquaintances, family & friends from all over the world who were congratulating me and wishing me well!

I started to read the comments and look at the names and faces. I felt seen, heard, and above all, loved.

I decided that I would sit and reply back to each person on the thread. I gave each person a loving heart & expressed my appreciation & gratitude for each individual. Once I had concluded, I sat and looked it all over and then closed my eyes. I breathed deep into my heart, and I felt amazing!! I had satisfied the need that the unpleasant emotion was yearning for.

I double-checked on the old emotion, and it was gone.

I believe that in anything “negative,” there is always something “positive” that can be learned or gained. Isn’t it better to feel the emotion, learn from it and move on? The sad emotions that I was momentarily feeling were there to get me to act & give myself what my heart truly needed. We just have to be willing to look into our innermost selves -- ask, act, believe, trust, expect & know that we have everything we need already inside us to “trance-form” our own lives in positive ways.

If you would like a free resource to help you connect to how you feel and use that information to move out of problems, please follow the link to grab a free resource!

Your Favorite Hypnotist,

Mark D. Lakowske CTC® CMHT®

For more info, follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn, or visit my website!


Mark D. Lakowske, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine

Multiple award-winning & internationally renowned clinical hypnotherapist Mark D. Lakowske has trained practitioners worldwide in his groundbreaking methods. Through this and his own practice, he has helped improve the lives of tens of thousands of people in countries ranging from the United States to Australia & New Zealand. Mark is an author of three books & regularly tours the world, contributing ideas to the development of hypnotherapy practice. His passion & drive is assisting people to overcome the overwhelming & live with more confident joy & happiness!



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